Forget for a moment you have a mortgage, a job, and complex relationships that take up time and energy. Set aside the worries and anxieties consuming your adult brain, and try to remember what life was like when you were a teenager.
Is it easy or hard? Do you have good memories or terrible ones?
Chances are you have romanticized your teen years into more manageable memories, or maybe those years were so horrible you've cast them out of existence.
For the most part parents have forgotten how stressful the teen years can be. And why not? Do we really want to relive the embarrassments, the trauma and the drama? The sooner we can pretend we were always well adjusted, and well liked the sooner our lives can really begin.
By the time we have children of our own recollections of those turbulent times have faded into fuzzy memories that hardly resemble the truth.
Have we really forgotten what it was like to be a teenager? We act like we have.
We punish the disobedience. We lecture the attitudes. We mourn the loss of innocence. We treat their pain as something minor. Perhaps in the comparison to adult concerns it doesn't register on the same scale as something worth worrying over.
If that is the case then we need a new scale. The life of a teenager is consuming, full of drama, and passion, and stress. What your teen is feeling and experiencing is important to them and therefore needs to be important to us.
The next time your teen lashes out, remember how difficult being a teenager really can be.
Top Five Reasons Your Teen Is Stressed
* Relationships
It's not just members of the opposite sex that cause your teen added worry. Friendships can be fickle, and at during these years friendships are the most important part of your child's life. It is the acceptance and feeling of being understood that helps our teens cope with the day to day challenges. When their relationships are suffering chances are the entire household suffers.
* School
Teens understand how important education is. We lecture them enough about it. To get ahead in life they don't just have to stay in school, they have to do well in school. Doing well in school requires hard work and commitment. If they do not have an adult to invest in their 'story' and encourage them along the way chances are they will lose forward momentum and end up behind.
* Extra-Curricular Activities
Is your child on a sports team? Do they play an instrument? Are they part of a club or after-school program? While these things provide creative outlets and physical activity there is added pressure to perform and excel.
* Bullying
Fitting in and being accepted is paramount to a teenager. Sometimes it doesn't happen. Sometimes kids are cruel. There are new avenues for bullies these days. With the connective power of the internet cyber-bullies have endless ways to make our teens miserable.
* Purpose
Teenagers need a story, something to hang onto when school becomes difficult, peer pressure more intense, and life just too stressful. Without purpose everyone withers. Without a goal our efforts become pointless. This is as true for our teens as it is for us.
The next time your teen lashes out, take a deep breath and ask yourself why. Sometimes all they need is someone who is not just listening but truly hears them.
Karen Pasqualucci is a passionate, lifelong learner. She is an author, artist, entrepreneur, internationally accomplished speaker/trainer, a third degree black belt in Taijitsu and a homeschool mom of three. She shares her newest insights on her blog at http://DoodleMeanings.com and gives away free Mandalas simply to make you as addicted as she is to the pleasures of mandalas :) Come and get 'em!
By Karen Pasqualucci
Is it easy or hard? Do you have good memories or terrible ones?
Chances are you have romanticized your teen years into more manageable memories, or maybe those years were so horrible you've cast them out of existence.
For the most part parents have forgotten how stressful the teen years can be. And why not? Do we really want to relive the embarrassments, the trauma and the drama? The sooner we can pretend we were always well adjusted, and well liked the sooner our lives can really begin.
By the time we have children of our own recollections of those turbulent times have faded into fuzzy memories that hardly resemble the truth.
Have we really forgotten what it was like to be a teenager? We act like we have.
We punish the disobedience. We lecture the attitudes. We mourn the loss of innocence. We treat their pain as something minor. Perhaps in the comparison to adult concerns it doesn't register on the same scale as something worth worrying over.
If that is the case then we need a new scale. The life of a teenager is consuming, full of drama, and passion, and stress. What your teen is feeling and experiencing is important to them and therefore needs to be important to us.
The next time your teen lashes out, remember how difficult being a teenager really can be.
Top Five Reasons Your Teen Is Stressed
* Relationships
It's not just members of the opposite sex that cause your teen added worry. Friendships can be fickle, and at during these years friendships are the most important part of your child's life. It is the acceptance and feeling of being understood that helps our teens cope with the day to day challenges. When their relationships are suffering chances are the entire household suffers.
* School
Teens understand how important education is. We lecture them enough about it. To get ahead in life they don't just have to stay in school, they have to do well in school. Doing well in school requires hard work and commitment. If they do not have an adult to invest in their 'story' and encourage them along the way chances are they will lose forward momentum and end up behind.
* Extra-Curricular Activities
Is your child on a sports team? Do they play an instrument? Are they part of a club or after-school program? While these things provide creative outlets and physical activity there is added pressure to perform and excel.
* Bullying
Fitting in and being accepted is paramount to a teenager. Sometimes it doesn't happen. Sometimes kids are cruel. There are new avenues for bullies these days. With the connective power of the internet cyber-bullies have endless ways to make our teens miserable.
* Purpose
Teenagers need a story, something to hang onto when school becomes difficult, peer pressure more intense, and life just too stressful. Without purpose everyone withers. Without a goal our efforts become pointless. This is as true for our teens as it is for us.
The next time your teen lashes out, take a deep breath and ask yourself why. Sometimes all they need is someone who is not just listening but truly hears them.
Karen Pasqualucci is a passionate, lifelong learner. She is an author, artist, entrepreneur, internationally accomplished speaker/trainer, a third degree black belt in Taijitsu and a homeschool mom of three. She shares her newest insights on her blog at http://DoodleMeanings.com and gives away free Mandalas simply to make you as addicted as she is to the pleasures of mandalas :) Come and get 'em!
By Karen Pasqualucci
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