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The Impact of Cyberbullying

Sunday, June 30, 2013 5:13 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Jay Foster

The incidence of schoolyard bullying has stayed fairly steady for the past few decades, but the number of kids who are being harassed by text message, email, and internet chat rooms has been increasing. One of the reasons for the increase is that more kids have cell phones now. It didn't take long for bullies to figure out that this was an easy way to target their victims, while remaining anonymous, and with the added impact of making him or her feel unsafe even when alone.

This type of bully activity includes sending cruel and insulting text messages, email, or image content directly to the victim. It also includes spreading rumors via texts, email, or social networking to third parties for the purposes of humiliating the victim. In extreme cases, entire websites, videos, or profiles are created which mock the victim publicly. Like traditional bully activity, it is most common among kids between 11 and 14 years of age.

The effect on the victim is the same whether he or she has been targeted in person or electronically. Humiliation, depression, and physical manifestations such as headache or stomach ache are common. Schoolyard victims often avoid going to school in order to avoid being bullied. Online victims have no escape, which adds to feelings of despair.

All but two states in the US have specific laws that address bully activity. 35 of them include specific language that addresses electronic activities. The laws are valuable as policy, but the deterrent effect is minimal, and enforcement can be difficult. What is required is for the culture that allows bullies to exist needs to change. It may take some time, but many programs and advocacy groups are working to create just this kind of change.

In the new social paradigm, a change the behavior of bystanders is most effective at swinging the tide. Bystanders tend to fall into two groups, those who encourage the bully by laughing or cheering, and those who simply ignore the situation without taking sides. Both of these end up reinforcing the bully's behavior. Failing to reinforce the bully's behavior will cause it to be engaged in less often, as it is no longer rewarding.

In the case of online activity, kids should refuse to forward or share cruel messages or images, and should not encourage the bully with any sort of positive feedback. The perpetrator should be blocked to deny him or her an audience. In every case, an adult should be notified.

One difference between schoolyard and online bullies is that some online bullies don't realize how hurtful their actions are. Schoolyard bullies typically draw enjoyment from watching their victim's discomfort. The anonymity of online communication allows people to go further than they might if they were face-to-face. For this reason, one element of education is to teach kids to think more critically about the things they post while online.

Cyberbullying, defined as "willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices," has become a serious problem. The blurred line between private and public has led to some challenges when it comes to regulation, but there has been a push in communities, supported by the federal government, to address all bully activities more directly and to educate the public about how they can help to eradicate it.

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The Social Nature of Bullying

Thursday, June 27, 2013 5:07 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Jay Foster

It's been in the news a lot lately, but the reality of bullying is as old as the human race. The impact on the victim can be quite serious, including loss of self-esteem, shame, poor performance in school, depression, physical manifestations of stress, and suicide. Social and emotional development can be badly affected, problems which can persist into later life.

It can be thought of as a social phenomenon, in that it is often participated in by groups, and supported by the behaviors of other people. There are six roles that can be described when looking at these situations: the victim, the bully, the bully's reinforcer, the bully's assistant, the defender of the victim, and the outsider.

Reinforcers are those who support the bully by cheering, laughing, or drawing attention to the situation, but who do not actively join in. The assistant, sometimes called the henchman, participate but do not take a leadership role. The defender speaks out openly in defense of the victim, and may come to his or her aid. The outsider does not get involved on either side, believing that it is none of his or her business.

Both genders may be bullies, but their techniques vary. Girls tend to be more verbally abusive, while boys more often use physical intimidation. Both boys and girls are more likely to bully within their own gender. In terms of the other participant roles, one study found that girls were more often defenders and outsiders, while boys were more often bullies, reinforcers, and assistants. However, no generalization can apply to any specific instance, and

These social factors are relevant because it is becoming increasingly clear that bullying is most successfully combated by empowering kids to stand up to bullies, both when being bullied themselves and when they see other kids being bullied. By focusing on the social aspect, a broader, social-based approach to regulation can be achieved, which is more effective than targeting individual bullies and victims for intervention. Of course, there should be consequences for bullies, and victims should receive whatever assistance they need, including counseling. A shift in attitude, however, can only come from within the peer group.

Bullies seek to earn or maintain a certain status, so if other kids refuse to assign them that status, the behavior is less likely to continue. Outsiders and defenders can be better influenced to change their behavior than active participants, and, as the largest element of the social group, a change from them carries a lot of weight in shifting attitudes. The lack of support may not lead to a change in the bully's actions, but the feeling of support can be quite beneficial to the victim.

When the victim feels supported by his or her peers, he or she will begin to feel more empowered to stand up to the bully. If outsiders can become defenders, and if reinforcers cease to encourage the behavior, then a change in culture results that is inhospitable to bullies. In order for this change to take place, kids need to feel that they won't lose their own status in the group. Adults can help by providing clear, firm rules that bullying will not be tolerated.

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Teen Life Coaching: What Every Parent Should Know

Monday, June 24, 2013 5:06 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Heike Jung

As you look at your adolescent son or daughter, do you often wonder: "What is he/she thinking?" or "Who is this child?" Does it seem as if your carefree, loving and trusting child is turning into a withdrawn, skeptical individual and, sometimes, rebellious human being? Are you even afraid that your child might be depressed, taking drugs or hanging out with the wrong crowd? Does school work seem to have been put on the "back burner"?

The Teen Brain, like its body, is not fully grown up yet. As Frances Jensen, a Harvard expert on epilepsy, explains in her article, "The Teen Brain: It's just not Grown Up Yet", scientist used to think human brain development was complete by age 10. But that is not true. For one thing, the frontal lobes, the part of the brain that is in charge of making decisions based on consequences, are not fully connected until the mid 20s. This lack of connectivity explains why teenagers often seem self-centered and incapable of thinking about the effects of their behavior on other people. It's not that teenagers don't think, they just think differently, and their behavior can be frustrating at times, even to the point where you, as a parent, feel helpless and wish for outside objective support.

That's where Teen Life Coaching can be of help. The teen brain will evolve. How it will evolve is influenced by natural as well as social influences. You are aware of the social side effects. That's why you try to influence your teenager's circle of friends, the parties they go to, the educational trips they take, the classes they attend and the sports they participate in. As you know, "it takes a village to raise a child".

Research has shown that teens who have at least three adult role models, apart from their parents, are significantly less likely to engage in risky behavior. A Life Coach is another role model; a mentor; a person who takes a genuine interest in your teen's challenges and dreams; a person who can relate; who can weed through the jungle of problems, emotions and waterfall of words; who can re-arrange the thoughts to form coherent goals; who can help turn dreams into reality and create a toolbox of life skills for your teenager to use.

A Life Coach is not a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or counselor. A Life Coach is a mentor, a guide, a support system. Coaches work towards future goals. Helping and supporting your teenagers to find out how they can get from where they are now to where they want to be while overcoming any negative or limiting beliefs!

Dr. Heike Jung is the President and Founder of DBLCoaching, a Teen and Young Adult Life Coaching program that inspires, motivates, encourages and supports teens and young adults to turn their dreams into reality.  Dr. Jung is best known for her powerfully written Personal Vision Reports which she individually develops and constructs for her clients. She is dedicated and committed to her young audience and strongly believes that personal fulfillment and success can be achieved through an intense Desire for, a firm Belief in, and a determined Love for your dream.

Places Parents Need to Be Extra Careful About When Bringing a Problem Child

Friday, June 21, 2013 5:04 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Anna V Thomas

First, what exactly is a problem child? As a parent, I am aware that all children misbehave at some point. Fighting over a toy, crying and shouting is all part of being a child - it's natural for them to act this way.

A problem child is someone uncontrollable. More often than not, they habitually lose temper, start fights with other kids and argues with adults over almost everything. They have this notion that they are equal to adults; hence they would not listen and will talk back when reprimanded.

According to experts, it is very important for parents to act swiftly with a problem child. Don't hold back to the point of not being able to take it anymore before reprimanding the child. Doing so would take you at least 20 to 30 minutes before acting, when experts say you'd need to reprimand your child about the behavior within 5 minutes or less from the time he did it.

For your defiant kids, it is also important that you be careful when taking them to public places. I am not saying that you have to keep them inside the house at all times, but you need to be extra vigilant when they're around other people. Children with this behavior are often uncontrollable, and you don't want them to push other kids in the playground, do you?

Playground - this is on the top of our list. Parents need to be vigilant when bringing a problem child in a playground because a lot of other children are also playing there. Add this to the fact that playgrounds can double a child's energy and you've got yourself a deadly mix. Make sure to be close to your child and to watch him at all times. This is to make sure that you catch him in time in case he fights with the other kids.

Church - people go to church to pray in a solemn manner, but this does not mean that you have to stop bringing your child to church completely. For toddlers, you might want to bring them something to get their attention like a toy or food. For older children, it's best to go when there's also a service being held for children so he gets entertained by stories and songs.

Daycare - daycare is another place where parents need to be extra vigilant. Like the playground, children socialize in the daycare center, improving the odds of fighting over anything. It's best to go with your child for the first few days until he gets used to this new environment.

Educational Trends for 2013

Tuesday, June 18, 2013 5:02 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Rachel P Shaffin

As 2013 begins, we will start to see more of the generation z students, also known as internet generation and digital natives, changing how educators formulate lessons and interact with students. As technology advances, it infiltrates itself even further into education and modifies the classroom dynamic. The following are some important educational trends to watch out for in 2013:

    More Homeschooling: Historically, homeschooling was seen as a rare phenomenon; however, lately, the concept of homeschooling has become more popular. This individualized, self-directed learning environment is gaining traction which means more resources and support for parents that choose this route. Technology and the internet has assisted with the growth of home school and makes it easier for parents and students to engage with others and learn.

    Interactive Classroom: Education programs nationwide are beginning to see more acceptance of interactive tools such as the iPad. The students of today are already proficient with technology and can use it to engage and learn both at home and school. To get the digital generation better involved, teachers are incorporating interactive textbooks, educational games and collaborative projects into their lesson plans.

    Visual Learning Techniques: The z generation of students are different from their parents and grandparents in the fact that their visual ability is more developed. Thanks to web browsing and information overloading, visual forms of learning are more effective and gratifying. Curricula is adapting to these changes by focusing more on looking rather than listening.

    Online Projects and Collaboration: More and more teachers are beginning to embrace web-based programs to engage students with their classmates and children around the world. They do this through blogging, podcasting, digital media and a variety of other online collaborative projects.

    Learning through Games: Instant gratification is a huge need for students these days, which makes learning via games not only more fun, but also more effective. Educational games motivate children to step out of their comfort zone to reach higher levels of knowledge- challenge themselves even further. While these games won't substitute lesson plans, they are a great supplemental resource.

    Focus on Critical Thinking: Memorization is always inevitable, but the focus should be more on problem solving and critical thinking. The ability to recall memorized pieces of material have its place in the classroom, but critical thinking is more important for creating students that are ready to take on innovation and entrepreneurship once they get out of school.

    Occupation-based Training: Higher educational costs coupled with the fact that many young people are already technically savvy enough to start a career that doesn't require a college degree, may cause many students to join the workforce right out of high school. More students are seeking out entrepreneurial opportunities at a younger age.

    Learning in Small Bites: Teachers find that the newer generations of students are harder to teach due to their short attention span caused by the generation y's constant multitasking influence. Educators must now tailor their lesson plans into more manageable, bite-size segments.

Should Children Give Offerings In Church

Saturday, June 15, 2013 5:00 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Lizzie Ducking

I really believe that we should teach our Children about giving because the scriptures say to give and it shall be given to you, good measures, pressed down and running over shall men give into your bosom. God did not say that this refers only to adults. Therefore, it is safe to say that He will bless Children as well as us when they give because He is not a respecter of person.

This is an incident that recently happened to me. One Sunday morning while we were getting ready for church, it came to me to talk to my Grandsons about giving. They use to give offering in church but it had been a long time since they had given. I asked them that morning did they have any seeds to put in church and they said no. I told them that they needed to start back to giving because they may not have any more seeds in the ground.

We went to church and at the time of the offering I called them to give them some money for the offering. They were the last ones to give in the initial offering but a few minutes later another child went up and gave an offering then after her another child went up. The pastor took notices of the children giving and began to tell us that we should teach our Children to give; they will be blessed in their giving like us. This was no a coincident, it was an ordained purpose of God and I thank Him that we did not miss Him.

We should teach them to sat aside an offering or tithe when they get money. It maybe that they have gotten some money from a job that they have done or they can give out of their allowance or even money that they have gotten for their birthday or whatever the case maybe but the point is, they should give an offering because the Lord will bless them if they did give.

You may not think that the devil will take from Children but he will. He is a thief who comes to steal, kill and to destroy and he has no respect of person. He will devour what belong to them just like he will devour what belong to us if he is given a chance. Therefore, we should teach our Children the word of God so they will learn and become aware of the devils devices.

The benefits of Children giving is the same as ours. What the Lord will do for us because of our giving is the same thing that He will do for them.

We can secure our Children future just by teaching them to be givers. We do what is expected of us as parents because we provides for our Children and we may think that there is no need for them to give in church but this is not right thinking because the seeds that they give now will come up later in their life possibly when they are grown. They will be blessed upon the Earth because others will give to them and show them favor because they have seed in the ground and this is security.

God want to bless our Children and He will bless them if they learn to be givers.

I am a Christian, wife, mother and grandmother. I enjoy helping and encouraging others. I am South Delta School District PTO President, Parent Supporter Task Force President and a member of the Parent Leadership Institute. My main hobbies are reading and writing books or articles.

My website is: http://www.lizzieschristianbookstoreandmore.com. I sell a variety of Christian Products such as E-books, Poems, and Teachings. Free weekly Devotions. Inspiritional products like Crosses, Bible covers, Plaques, Figurines and more.

Children's Birthday Bowling Party Ideas

Wednesday, June 12, 2013 1:54 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Cedric P Loiselle

Planning your kid's birthday party can be demanding. There are various options for kids' parties. Parents can break the convention by opting for a bowling party instead of the usual home or garden birthday party for their kids.

Making It Simple

A bowling party for children may be held at a location other than an actual bowling alley. Though it would be difficult to set up a spot that looks like a bowling alley, it may be the less expensive option. You can place a banner that welcomes guests to the bowling alley. Name it after your child. You can also have t-shirts made for the kids so they all wear the same thing at the party. The color and design of the shirts should match the theme of the party.

Preparing the Bowling Alley

Many bowling alleys are prepared for large parties. They may even provide facilities like private rooms, tables and chairs or allow you to bring your own seating. Decorating the place may be offered by the staff at the chosen venue. However, if they do not have staff to decorate for the bowling birthday party, you will have to prep the area on your own or with family and friends.

Some people think it is difficult to decorate a place for children's parties, but such parties are the easiest to prepare. There are no strict color themes, because kids' parties usually have colorful themes. Imagine having toys, candies, and costumes. Cartoon characters may be involved in the theme, too. Balloons are common decorations for kids and they are inexpensive.

Food Menu

Don't forget the cake. No matter where the party is held, a cake will complete the set. The cake should go with the theme of the party. Popular cakes for kids' party are those with cartoon themes. Some bowling alleys demand that you purchase food from them. To avoid conflict, ask the owner if you can bring your own food. If the alley must cater the party food, make sure they provide food that kids would like to eat.

Creative food presentation for a children's party is important. For instance, think of hotdogs with marshmallows or donuts with smiley designs. There are endless ways to be creative. If you do not have something in mind already, there are many websites with creative ideas.

Desserts are quite necessary. Any type of party cannot last without desserts. After the main courses, kids would go for desserts. In fact, kids may not help themselves to anything but sweets. Make sure you have plenty of sweet stuff on the table.

Planning the Party

Bowling alleys can be busy at all times of the year. So make sure you reserve months ahead of the actual day. Many parents fail to plan this event early. Kids' parties should be well planned if you want the party to be memorable for your child. Make an outline of the details months ahead. Include the theme of the party. List possible venues and phone them early to inquire about availabilities, restrictions and rental conditions. Make a food menu, plan the games, and decide how long the party should last. Send invitations in advance!

Parents and Children And Surgery

Sunday, June 9, 2013 1:52 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Noah B Brown

Getting the news that you or your child needs surgery can be a scary thing for both parents and children. Although adults understand that the surgery is a necessary procedure, kids seem to think that there is a high risk either for them to die or for the parent to die. Follow these help-for-parents tips and positive parenting techniques to help ease your child's fear about surgery.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Parents and children need to be honest with each other. If the parent needs to have a surgical procedure done, tell the child about it. The child will probably voice his or her fears that you won't be coming home from the hospital. Don't dismiss your child's fears. Help-for-parents advisors suggest that the parents and children discuss their fears. Let the kids know that you're scared too, but that you are confident that the doctor will have you good as new in no time.

If your child is the one needing surgery, you will need to start by discussing the reasons with him. Although the doctor probably discussed it with both of you, you will still need to break it down into reasons that he or she can understand. Again, it is essential that parents and children voice their fears and concerns, but also reassure the child that the doctor will have them healthy very soon.

Take a Tour

When a child needs to have a surgical procedure done, many doctors will arrange a tour of the hospital for both parents and children. In the event your doctor didn't mention this to you, call his office and ask to set up a tour. Most hospitals are happy to accommodate this.

A nurse will probably lead your child on the hospital tour. You will probably be shown the pediatric ward, and the nurse usually explains the process of preparing the child for surgery. Pediatric nurses are really great with kids as they work with and care for them on a daily basis. Once both parents and children take the tour and meet the nurses, some of the fears should be alleviated. If not, ask the nurse if the hospital offers other help for parents with this problem.

Something to Look Forward to

It often helps if the child has something really fun to look forward to after the surgery. This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but it should be something that will excite the child. A special toy, video game or trip that they've been wanting should do the trick. This positive parenting trick should work wonders.

Many parents and children who need to deal with surgery plan to have a party after the child is well again. This can be an inexpensive way to celebrate his good health, and will get the child excited. Be sure to allow him or her to help make the plans for the party. He/she should be allowed to come up with the theme, but both parents and children can invite friends. Your child will be really excited about getting the surgery over with so he/she can have that special party.

Alleviate the Anxiety

There are times when both parents and children still have fears and anxiety about the surgery. There are social workers at the hospital who provide help for parents with these problems. Usually, the social worker will sit down with the parents and children to discuss their fears. Because they are experienced counselors, they will be able to calm your nerves and help you all to feel more comfortable.

Why Children Love the Little Mermaid Story

Thursday, June 6, 2013 1:51 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Lenny Thompson

"The little mermaid" is one of the most loved animation characters. Her shiny red hair, her mischievous temper and all the troubles she always run into, are something that every little girl loves. Have you ever wondered where she came from? Have your little girls ever asked you about mermaids and their origin?

Have you ever heard the question "Mommy, are mermaids real?"

If you have, then let's talk about mermaids, Ariel - the little mermaid and all the mysterious water creatures.

The legend about Mermaids

The legend about mermaids dates since 1000 B.C. It's originated from the lands of the present Middle East. According to this legend, the mother of Semiramis, the goddess Atargatis was in love with a shepherd - a normal, poor, mortal man. Unfortunately inadvertently she killed her beloved. Her despair was so big, that she threw herself into a lake and decided to live her life as a fish. She did not want to keep her normal life without her beloved shepherd. But her goddess nature did not allow her to transform entirely and she kept the upper part of her woman body and the lower was transformed into a fish tail.

In Middle East, they used to call the mermaids "Nautical people" and people from this part of the world believed, that mermaids are normal women, which however could live and breathe under water.

There is another legend that comes from Europe. According to it, mermaids are seducers that possess the fatalism and the cruelty of women. This legend originated from stories of sailors and fishermen from the shore cities of Europe. They related stories of mermaids that allured men and make them jump into the cold waters of the seas.

According to other stories, the mermaids were the omen of the death for the ships lost in the seas. They were a sign that there is no cost nearby and there is no escape.

The last famous legend is the Greek one. According to the Greek mythology mermaids were inhabitant of the seas, companion of Poseidon, always in help of lost fishermen or ships in trouble.

The Little Mermaid

This movie is one of the most watched by all little girls. Ariel, aka The Little Mermaid is mischievous mermaid daughter of King Triton, the king of the mighty undersea kingdom. She is always in trouble, but using her courage and determination, manages to get out in the very last moment. Her biggest dream is to be a real human even for a little while.

Why every little girl loves Ariel?

Ariel's life is wonderful, full of adventure, risks, friends, entertainment and many other great things. She has all the things that little girls want - freedom, games, great surrounding and a lot of fun. She is daddy's little, cute girl. Actually Ariel is reincarnation of what girls dream of.

But....

Some problems may arise with all these mermaid stories. Children sometimes identify themselves with their favorite characters. They want to jump like them, to play like them, etc. Be careful, because your little girl may want to swim like a mermaid and jump in the water without knowing how to swim. She may expect mermaids to save her or to see any mermaid in the deep water. Who knows! Or she can try to make any of Ariel's mischief. So try to explain to the child the legends for the mermaids and that they should never do what they see in "The little mermaid" movie.

Mermaids are great! Let you child enjoy the movie and the creature. But first take the trouble to explain the myths and the truths to your child.

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I Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Monday, June 3, 2013 1:49 PM Posted by Kids and Teens 0 comments
By Glenda Gabriel

Every day though brings a fresh start. A new chance to 'get it right' or 'make it right '... whatever that 'it' happens to be. In the world of parenting teenagers, it seems like there's always something that can use a do-over.

Turn those negative thoughts into positive actions that can actually work in your child's favor. You only get 20/20 hindsight one way and that is by learning from what has happened. So don't waste time. Instead, evaluate how doing something different would work towards creating a better outcome.

For starters, stop 'Shoulding' all over yourself! If you're dealing with a teen who's struggling and sliding down a slippery slope that could potentially put their future at risk, you don't have time for it! Going down that road will only make you less effective, less on target, and have you second guessing that internal compass parents need to be tuned into, in order to be the safety net their kids need.

Remember, information is your friend. Perhaps the biggest mistake parents make is clinging to denial. Ignoring what their parental gut tells them. Kids are manipulators by nature. Teens have mastered that skill. But don't lay that all that off on them. Be very clear. Manipulation is a two-party system...the manipulator and the manipulatee. That's why it's critical to listen to your internal parental instinct and be willing to follow through.

Here are some ways to turn the 'Shoulda...Coulda...Woulda's around into taking positive action for your child's well-being:

• Spend time with your teen. Focus on them. Turn off your cell and give your full attention to hearing how their day went. Find out what they're interested in or what's worrying them. Show up on time for their sporting events or dance rehearsals. Do something weekly with them. It can be something as simple as getting an ice cream cone or tossing a ball around.

• Drug test your teen. Studies reveal that while only 18% of parents believed their teens have tried drugs, 53% of seniors admitted to having used drugs. Businesses use drug testing. It's a reality of life. Checking to make sure that your children are making good decisions is just part of responsible parenting. If taking random drug tests gave your teen the resolve they needed to "just say no", would it be worth it then?

• Turn down the volume. Do not get into yelling matches. You can't get anything resolved if you're yelling over one another. Pushing parent's buttons is almost an art form for teens. It's a great ploy to create a diversion to escape consequences they see coming their way. Staying calm will keep you in control of your emotions and safeguard you from saying things you wish you could take back.

• Get to know the parents of your teen's friends. Take the opportunity to share information and compare concerns and agree to handle some problems in the same way. This alliance will help to safeguard each other's kids. It helps when you can watch each other's back.

• Trust your parental instincts. If something doesn't seem right to you, don't ignore it. Your teen may protest to structure and boundaries, but remind them you love them and that their protection is your prime concern and responsibility.

• There are many stresses that pull at your time and attention. Dealing with a difficult teen can stretch you to your limits. It can be tempting to ignore them or not follow through on their consequences in order to give yourself a break from the pressures. But your teen needs more of your time and attention, not less.

A teen's defiant or difficult behavior signals life out of control and out of balance in your family system. Slow things down. Take inventory. Trust your instincts. Pay attention to the details and be willing to do what needs to be done for in the best interest of your teen and your family.

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