Why Objects and Belongings Go Missing
There are several reasons kids lose things. Some of the reasons are simply due to inattention or lack of caring. But some reasons are based in child development.
Objects and Values
Children don't perceived the need for the item(s) the way adults do. An example is winter coats that parents value because they are nice and toasty. The warmth factor isn't valued by kids because they are highly active and generating their own heat with running and jumping around (which is why they take them off and forget where they put them).
Children don't pay attention to what adults value because it means nothing to them. Money and replacement process doesn't affect them as it does the adult, so there is no "cost" to it. Adults simply replace the items because they are needed and the child goes on.
Having said that, children from poverty who are given a "status" coat (or store-bought for Christmas or birthday as opposed to a donated "non-status" coat) will usually keep their coats on them at all times, even inside the classroom, and care for the coat at all times. It is valued because there is no money in the family and the new-ness aspect is valued, because most of their clothing is hand-me-downs or from the charity boxes.
Some children (and adults) seem to treasure their belongings for emotional reasons. These children seem to be less involved with people and more involved with objects. Sometimes this will be a personality compensation for lack of relationships or fear of relationships. Sometimes it is because they value the object(s) for emotional reasons (given to them by....).
Organization
Organization is an entirely different skill that is developmental. Part of organizational skills comes from the routine habits that are directly attributable to consistent parental reinforcement: clean up your room/toys, put things away where they belong/you found them, keeping clothing organized in drawers and/or closets, etc.
When it comes to internal or self-organization of their lives and possessions, children must develop neurological (mental) functioning skills that develop in stages. There are many subtle stages of cognitive (mental reasoning) development that children go through. Since they are subtle, those stages creep along until the parent suddenly realizes the child has "grown up" a bit, because the child performs differently.
These stages appear in order, without any skipping of stages. Should a stage be incomplete in development, the child will have incomplete development and not progress on a solid foundation.
To have all of these stages develop appropriately and completely, the child must acquire language skills that are complex and descriptive. Language seems to be the foundation for how a child can manipulate objects, concepts, and thoughts. Language forms the rules by which the child orders his/her world and objects.
Without the language skills, chaos rules. When the child functions in chaos, nothing is important, because everything is equal to each other, without possibility of being organized into categories or hierarchies. For more information about language and cognitive development, visit our website.
All children can succeed in school. Parents can help their children by teaching the foundational skills that schools presume children have. Without the foundation for schools' academic instruction, children needlessly struggle and/or fail. Their future becomes affected because they then believe they are less than others, not able to succeed or achieve or provide for themselves or their families. Visit http://parentsteachkids.com to learn how to directly help your child and http://easyschoolsuccess.com to learn what is needed for education reform efforts to be successful.
By Jennifer Little
There are several reasons kids lose things. Some of the reasons are simply due to inattention or lack of caring. But some reasons are based in child development.
Objects and Values
Children don't perceived the need for the item(s) the way adults do. An example is winter coats that parents value because they are nice and toasty. The warmth factor isn't valued by kids because they are highly active and generating their own heat with running and jumping around (which is why they take them off and forget where they put them).
Children don't pay attention to what adults value because it means nothing to them. Money and replacement process doesn't affect them as it does the adult, so there is no "cost" to it. Adults simply replace the items because they are needed and the child goes on.
Having said that, children from poverty who are given a "status" coat (or store-bought for Christmas or birthday as opposed to a donated "non-status" coat) will usually keep their coats on them at all times, even inside the classroom, and care for the coat at all times. It is valued because there is no money in the family and the new-ness aspect is valued, because most of their clothing is hand-me-downs or from the charity boxes.
Some children (and adults) seem to treasure their belongings for emotional reasons. These children seem to be less involved with people and more involved with objects. Sometimes this will be a personality compensation for lack of relationships or fear of relationships. Sometimes it is because they value the object(s) for emotional reasons (given to them by....).
Organization
Organization is an entirely different skill that is developmental. Part of organizational skills comes from the routine habits that are directly attributable to consistent parental reinforcement: clean up your room/toys, put things away where they belong/you found them, keeping clothing organized in drawers and/or closets, etc.
When it comes to internal or self-organization of their lives and possessions, children must develop neurological (mental) functioning skills that develop in stages. There are many subtle stages of cognitive (mental reasoning) development that children go through. Since they are subtle, those stages creep along until the parent suddenly realizes the child has "grown up" a bit, because the child performs differently.
These stages appear in order, without any skipping of stages. Should a stage be incomplete in development, the child will have incomplete development and not progress on a solid foundation.
To have all of these stages develop appropriately and completely, the child must acquire language skills that are complex and descriptive. Language seems to be the foundation for how a child can manipulate objects, concepts, and thoughts. Language forms the rules by which the child orders his/her world and objects.
Without the language skills, chaos rules. When the child functions in chaos, nothing is important, because everything is equal to each other, without possibility of being organized into categories or hierarchies. For more information about language and cognitive development, visit our website.
All children can succeed in school. Parents can help their children by teaching the foundational skills that schools presume children have. Without the foundation for schools' academic instruction, children needlessly struggle and/or fail. Their future becomes affected because they then believe they are less than others, not able to succeed or achieve or provide for themselves or their families. Visit http://parentsteachkids.com to learn how to directly help your child and http://easyschoolsuccess.com to learn what is needed for education reform efforts to be successful.
By Jennifer Little
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