Teens also have different levels of all of the emotion/feel good hormones and neurotransmitters: dopamine, serotonin which makes them very impulsive. In fact, teenagers can be so volatile at times that they could easily be diagnosed with a variety of psychological/personality disorders- like bi-polar, or borderline personality!

Any counselor worth his salt will hold off and be slow to diagnose a teenager, because their hormones really do make them act nuts! Their neurons are still developing connections and their decision making circuits are not fully developed yet.

As a result, living with a teen can be quite a roller coaster ride- where they move from stress to distress, make poor judgments, and have a difficult time communicating.

This can sometimes cause us to misbehave as well. We become defensive, combative, anxious, overprotective, or sometimes become a doormat out of fear of volatile sometimes violent confrontation.

It is difficult to stop and think about the best way to communicate in these volatile situations-but if we want to re-connect in more positive ways, it is possible for us to learn new ways or techniques when these situations arise.

One of the best methods that I have found is from Dr. Mark Goulston's book Just Listen. It may take some rehearsal, but if you can start to react and speak differently in conflict, your chances for having situations spin completely out of control will decrease!

Try this method for calming the crazy brain of a teenager to see if you can re- connect with your teen:

1. Plan a time when you will be in the car together (captive audience!)

2. And then ask these questions:
-What's the most frustrated you have ever felt with your mom/dad or me?
-"How bad was it for you?"
-What did it make you want to do?"
-"What did you do?"

3. Let your child answer and then say:
-"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was so bad"

Don't be surprised if your child sheds tears and then opens up to you in what may be followed by the firsts non-confrontational talk that you have had in a long time. This process has brought that strange, impulsive, moody brain under control- at least for a few minutes!

Parenting teens can be a stressful undertaking. By employing some of these questioning techniques, you can give yourself and your teen some needed stress relief! To learn more about other innovative stress solutions, go to http://www.RealStressSolutions.com

Angela Bussio is a best selling author, coach, and founder of Real Stress Solutions.com, and inbox magazine. Real Stress Solutions provides state-of-the-art stress reduction and management techniques to help people find the balance they need. She is also the innovator of upcoming online program,"Turn Stress to Success" featuring the "5 minute Stress Solution" phone APP.

By Angela W Bussio