This is for all mothers, or parents, 'going though' adolescence with their daughters. You might have heard about it being a tricky phase - now you can 'phew' in agreement! It calls for special nerves to handle the on-set of this metamorphosis.
The 'sugar and spice and all things nice' goes for a toss as turbulent hormones shift bringing on physical changes. 'These' are easy to deal with, and you might even have your daughter elated about the fact that she'll soon be a young girl, like her favorite icon. It's the psychological changes that take you for a spin and call for your best tack!
Relax your hold
Suddenly, you feel your control slipping away as she begins to assert her new found reason. The situation might be as simple as why she cannot wear a dress that you feel is inappropriate for a place or occasion: or why it is that she has to eat what you make at meal times.
However, unless 'her way' is completely beyond parental standards, it is fine to let her try her terms. You have to remember - your child is emerging as an individual. It requires for you to release your hold (and saves you washing out energy on a pointless argument!).
Guide tactfully
With that said, this is the 'cannot-escape' time in your life as a parent, when you have the huge responsibility of navigating your daughter to her right route with the right attitudes and principles. She might not appear to pay much heed to your experience, thoughts, and counseling, but rest ensured that it is all being stored in her memory data. Haven't we done the same as we were growing up? The firmest of principles that we hold today are ones that we shirked from hearing while our Moms talked.
However, the right time to guide your daughter about the right conduct or values is when she is in the 'talk mode' and wants to share. Be the friend that she wants you to be and share but not dictate your beliefs.
Listen to what she has to say
Their intellect has reached the stage of measuring, evaluating, and judging their world. Grown out of the 'why and how' phase of childhood, your daughter now is full of ideas and beliefs that she wants to share. This is also the time when her self esteem is at its vulnerable best. Your reaction to her individual thought has more capacity to impact her self esteem than you know. Positive statements and attitudes work wonders to help her in developing a healthy outlook, and are definite confidence boosters.
Despite the havoc she might stir asserting her own, she needs you more than ever. Find ways to ward away confrontations. If it means giving up on your long-held opinions to give way to hers, do it. That is the first step up in creating a healthy friendship with your daughter
By Manu Verma
The 'sugar and spice and all things nice' goes for a toss as turbulent hormones shift bringing on physical changes. 'These' are easy to deal with, and you might even have your daughter elated about the fact that she'll soon be a young girl, like her favorite icon. It's the psychological changes that take you for a spin and call for your best tack!
Relax your hold
Suddenly, you feel your control slipping away as she begins to assert her new found reason. The situation might be as simple as why she cannot wear a dress that you feel is inappropriate for a place or occasion: or why it is that she has to eat what you make at meal times.
However, unless 'her way' is completely beyond parental standards, it is fine to let her try her terms. You have to remember - your child is emerging as an individual. It requires for you to release your hold (and saves you washing out energy on a pointless argument!).
Guide tactfully
With that said, this is the 'cannot-escape' time in your life as a parent, when you have the huge responsibility of navigating your daughter to her right route with the right attitudes and principles. She might not appear to pay much heed to your experience, thoughts, and counseling, but rest ensured that it is all being stored in her memory data. Haven't we done the same as we were growing up? The firmest of principles that we hold today are ones that we shirked from hearing while our Moms talked.
However, the right time to guide your daughter about the right conduct or values is when she is in the 'talk mode' and wants to share. Be the friend that she wants you to be and share but not dictate your beliefs.
Listen to what she has to say
Their intellect has reached the stage of measuring, evaluating, and judging their world. Grown out of the 'why and how' phase of childhood, your daughter now is full of ideas and beliefs that she wants to share. This is also the time when her self esteem is at its vulnerable best. Your reaction to her individual thought has more capacity to impact her self esteem than you know. Positive statements and attitudes work wonders to help her in developing a healthy outlook, and are definite confidence boosters.
Despite the havoc she might stir asserting her own, she needs you more than ever. Find ways to ward away confrontations. If it means giving up on your long-held opinions to give way to hers, do it. That is the first step up in creating a healthy friendship with your daughter
By Manu Verma
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