This article is directed to the children in your family. I sit down and talk with my children often. It dawned on me that it might be nice to sit down and talk with yours too (with your permission, of course).
When I was in my 30's, I remember starting to get a glimpse of what my mom and dad had done for me and our family when I was a child. In the moment, I had no idea. It took me 30 years to see it.
With my kids, I love to give them insights into my world and how they can support me and bring a smile to my face. I like to give them insights into the future, and give them information about things they don't know, but might later wish they had known. I felt bad when I realized how much I didn't know to appreciate my parents. I didn't want my kids to look back and say, "If only I had known."
Sometimes we think it is "obvious" how our kids can help us, or not fight, or just do their homework without arguing, etc. But, kids don't know what they don't know. They only know the now. And in any given moment, their now usually consists of a desire to play, which is natural. We can't fault them for that. However, we can empower them, and give them a peak into our world, so that they can cultivate empathy, compassion, and gratitude at much deeper levels.
The rest of this article is for children who would like to make a difference at home.
Okay, kids, let me ask you three questions:
1. Does your mom or dad ever get upset with you, seemingly "out of nowhere"?
2. Does your mom or dad seem tired, stressed, frustrated, and/or not "interested" in you sometimes?
3. Are the holidays stressful and not as fun as they used to be, or as fun as you think they could be?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, I have great news for you!
YOU can make a difference.
People only know what they know. That means they don't know what they don't know. Our life experience as children and as adults is limited to what has happened in our life. You won't understand what your mom and dad are going through, as far as all of the things they have to do (work, dishes, laundry, cleaning, paying bills, mowing, etc.), until later in your life. At some point, you'll realize what they did for you and say, "Oh, now I get it. Wow, they did a lot! I wish I had known then."
My philosophy is, "Why not give our kids some insight into the future? Why not share with them what is happening in our life, and allow them the opportunity to care for and appreciate us NOW?" Would that be valuable to you?
As children, we go through life doing what we're asked to do (or not), going where we need to go, and trying to have fun and play every possible moment in between. I love that! I wish more adults would do that too, including myself. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Responsibilities take over, however, and we get into habits that create a life of work and heavy loads (some of that is necessary). You are protected in many ways from that experience. Depending on your age, you may be starting to do more around the house, or you may be taking it easy. In either case, wouldn't it be really nice to know how to make a difference for your mom and dad?
First, know that they love you more than you could ever know. When you have children, and only then, will you even have an idea of how much; really.
Second, know that what your parents are doing with work, cleaning, cooking, driving you here and there, and whatever else is on their plate, is what they feel is necessary in order to meet the needs of the family. It isn't "instead of" being with you, it is "because" they care about you.
Third, it comes out of love and necessity, but it is not always easy. Mom and dad get tired. Their tanks get empty.
Here are some ideas that just might put a smile on their faces (especially you mom's):
• Hug them for no reason
• Say "I love you" just because
• Offer to wash the dishes, take out the trash, mow the lawn, or help younger siblings with homework
• Make them some tea
• Surprise them with dinner, or breakfast in bed (orange juice and toast is great)
• Vacuum
• Dust
• Clean a toilet
• Sit down to do your homework without being asked
• Make your bed or clean your room without being asked
• Read them a story, or bring their slippers for snuggle time
• Do anything that surprises them!
Moms and dads need love and attention too. They give a lot to many people.
Traci Carman is the Founder and CEO of A Loving Way ~ How I Parent Makes a Difference. She is a Parenting Coach, Speaker and Author. She is also the creator of the "Who I Am" Energy Cards. For more information about our mission, philosophy and parenting services, or to sign up for our free monthly Newsletter, visit us at http://www.alovingway.com. You may also reach us at 800-647-1171 or tracicarman@alovingway.com.
By Traci Carman
When I was in my 30's, I remember starting to get a glimpse of what my mom and dad had done for me and our family when I was a child. In the moment, I had no idea. It took me 30 years to see it.
With my kids, I love to give them insights into my world and how they can support me and bring a smile to my face. I like to give them insights into the future, and give them information about things they don't know, but might later wish they had known. I felt bad when I realized how much I didn't know to appreciate my parents. I didn't want my kids to look back and say, "If only I had known."
Sometimes we think it is "obvious" how our kids can help us, or not fight, or just do their homework without arguing, etc. But, kids don't know what they don't know. They only know the now. And in any given moment, their now usually consists of a desire to play, which is natural. We can't fault them for that. However, we can empower them, and give them a peak into our world, so that they can cultivate empathy, compassion, and gratitude at much deeper levels.
The rest of this article is for children who would like to make a difference at home.
Okay, kids, let me ask you three questions:
1. Does your mom or dad ever get upset with you, seemingly "out of nowhere"?
2. Does your mom or dad seem tired, stressed, frustrated, and/or not "interested" in you sometimes?
3. Are the holidays stressful and not as fun as they used to be, or as fun as you think they could be?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, I have great news for you!
YOU can make a difference.
People only know what they know. That means they don't know what they don't know. Our life experience as children and as adults is limited to what has happened in our life. You won't understand what your mom and dad are going through, as far as all of the things they have to do (work, dishes, laundry, cleaning, paying bills, mowing, etc.), until later in your life. At some point, you'll realize what they did for you and say, "Oh, now I get it. Wow, they did a lot! I wish I had known then."
My philosophy is, "Why not give our kids some insight into the future? Why not share with them what is happening in our life, and allow them the opportunity to care for and appreciate us NOW?" Would that be valuable to you?
As children, we go through life doing what we're asked to do (or not), going where we need to go, and trying to have fun and play every possible moment in between. I love that! I wish more adults would do that too, including myself. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Responsibilities take over, however, and we get into habits that create a life of work and heavy loads (some of that is necessary). You are protected in many ways from that experience. Depending on your age, you may be starting to do more around the house, or you may be taking it easy. In either case, wouldn't it be really nice to know how to make a difference for your mom and dad?
First, know that they love you more than you could ever know. When you have children, and only then, will you even have an idea of how much; really.
Second, know that what your parents are doing with work, cleaning, cooking, driving you here and there, and whatever else is on their plate, is what they feel is necessary in order to meet the needs of the family. It isn't "instead of" being with you, it is "because" they care about you.
Third, it comes out of love and necessity, but it is not always easy. Mom and dad get tired. Their tanks get empty.
Here are some ideas that just might put a smile on their faces (especially you mom's):
• Hug them for no reason
• Say "I love you" just because
• Offer to wash the dishes, take out the trash, mow the lawn, or help younger siblings with homework
• Make them some tea
• Surprise them with dinner, or breakfast in bed (orange juice and toast is great)
• Vacuum
• Dust
• Clean a toilet
• Sit down to do your homework without being asked
• Make your bed or clean your room without being asked
• Read them a story, or bring their slippers for snuggle time
• Do anything that surprises them!
Moms and dads need love and attention too. They give a lot to many people.
Traci Carman is the Founder and CEO of A Loving Way ~ How I Parent Makes a Difference. She is a Parenting Coach, Speaker and Author. She is also the creator of the "Who I Am" Energy Cards. For more information about our mission, philosophy and parenting services, or to sign up for our free monthly Newsletter, visit us at http://www.alovingway.com. You may also reach us at 800-647-1171 or tracicarman@alovingway.com.
By Traci Carman
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