When you have a child you don't get a manual with them. Sure there are books, articles and forums that share information, however until you become a parent it is all hearsay. Instead you do the best you can with the available resources you have.

The 0-7 years is what is known as the imprint period. All our beliefs, values and opinions about the world around us are formulated during this time. It has also been said that 0-3 is the strongest time frame during which what we do around our children is being taken in and imprinted to formulate the map of reality they will have going through life.

You might ask: "How can an infant or a toddler create beliefs and decide on what things mean?" There is no EGO at this stage or what I like to call the gatekeeper. Everything goes straight into the unconscious mind and is considered to be true and fact. It is our responsibility as parents to be aware of this and role model excellence in front of our children. If you want them to grow up strong, confident and independent, let them help you when they want, encourage them when attempting new things and spend time with them to show them they are worth it.

The moment you want to be in control, is the moment when your child feels they are not good enough to help you. We know that children do not have the analytical ability of adults and their thoughts can be irrational and inaccurate. The imprint occurs when that child tells themselves what something means. There may be moments that you think are irrelevant, but it is those moments that could be the defining moments for your child. They are sponges that see, hear and feel everything. They may not be able to express themselves, but they know what each look means, the tone of your voice and how to push your buttons from the time they are toddlers.

What Children Want

As they grow children go through different developmental stages. They have needs that vary depending on their age and what is important to them. I would like to share with you each of these stages, so you can build an understanding as to why your child may be acting a certain way.

Within the imprint period of 0-7 years everything is accepted without opinion, view or judgement and there are no ego and filters. During these first 7 years there are different stages:

0-2 - is all about the need for certainty and love. All your child wants is to feel certain that you will be there, pick them up and give them all the love they need. Don't deny them of this. If they want to be picked, then pick them up and they will melt in your hands and stop crying.

2-3 - is the timeframe where children are all about power. Thus the famously named "Terrible Twos". It is at this age that children usually learn how to go to the toilet by themselves and gain a new sense of independence and ability to do things on their own. They like to show you who is the boss and knowing this should at least comfort you in some way. Your child is not out there to drive you crazy, they are learning to be their own person that can do things for themselves.

3-5 - is the age group where it is all about worth. Children of this age want to know they matter and the things they share with you are important. It is a time where praise, encouragement and building self-confidence is crucial.

5-7 - is all about truth. During this period children will start asking if Santa is real and want to know the truth about lots of things. Some may start earlier and others much later. It is important we share the truth with our children when they ask. This will build trust and connection between the parent and child.

Following the imprint period of 0-7, there are 3 further developmental milestones that we go through and those are:

8-15 - Modelling which is all about copying how others do what they do because it is appealing to the individual. This may not be considered good or bad by society necessarily.

16-23 - Socialization is the need to belong to a particular tribe and be accepted by your peers. This is when children may move out of home and social activities have the most meaning to them over anything else.

23-30 - Professional is when the focus shifts to building a career so that the individual creates security and certainty in their life to start their own family or assure assets for the future.

Knowing about all the above mentioned developmental stages gives you the edge and knowhow of your children's needs. It also answers many parents' questions of: How long will this last? Or why is my child acting this way? It certainly has given me peace of mind that everything is OK and different challenges will follow going forward. Remember it is all part of normal development.

Natasa Denman Weight Loss Coach/Lifestylist/Author/Presenter www.prscoaching.com.au