So then it came time to potty train. He is my only child and I'll be the first one to admit I have no clue what I am doing. There are tons of resources out there to tell you what they think you should do, and a lot of examples of what not to do. My goal is just to be the best mom I can, not the best mom in the world. Now, prior to having a child, I worked at a veterinary clinic. This gave me 5 years of experience in cleaning up poop and pee from various animals, which in turn had made it very hard for anything to gross me out. Or at least, that's what I thought.

Pee is no problem, you get paper towels, squirt it down with your chosen cleaner and wipe it up. No harm done. But poop? Why didn't anyone tell me about this?! It's messy, it's stinky, it's unpredictable, explosive, it stains, and it's never what you think it is. This sounds gross, mainly because it is gross. For someone with a gag reflex made of steel, I find myself dry heaving on a regular basis. I've been trying to potty train this kid for 1.5 years now, and I'm happy to say that he pees in the potty most of the time. And we finally got him to poop in the potty for about 50% of the time, which is better than nothing. That's right; I've been dealing with frequent attacks of unexpected, crazy, smelly poop for over a year now. Everyone has a breaking point and I've reached mine.

Now, there are a million articles that note that this is the last part of potty training they fully master. I know it's not uncommon. What's uncommon is the utterly disgusting reality that no one wants to talk about. I also have yet to see anyone publish the actual cost of potty training alone. The amount of money spent in this household on wipes and pull-ups alone could have put me through college. And that's just the beginning of the expenses related to potty training. There are paper towels, liquid cleaners, bleach, anti-bacterial soap, laundry detergent...the list goes on and on. Seriously! I know it's expensive to raise a child, but we aren't even into the tween years and my wallet is hurting!

The cheapest way to clean up after an explosion of any proportion is to take him out back and hose his cute little butt off. Not so practical, however, considering the neighbors might be creepy and sometimes the weather is a little too cold, and the fact it doesn't always happen at home. Is there ever going to be a day when I won't have feces on some area of my person?! Of course, we have pets too...so add that to the dumps I clean up and it all equals my life revolving around what comes out of a butt.

Gone are the days of me freaking out about his "accidents". Now, I have come to just accept that it's going to happen, no matter how hard I try to teach him to get to the toilet in time. And I can't force him to poop, because that brings out shear defiance. So there is just calm acceptance, and the extreme desire to just let his girlfriend in college deal with teaching him to poop in the potty. I mean really! I have tried every method out there, but using any strategy is hard when your kid learns to adapt to what you want him to do, then changes it because he's 3 and will do anything in insolence. In this is war: the battlefield changes constantly, the weapon is poop, and I am losing... horribly. Yes, it's a phase, and yes it will pass, but you won't see me holding my breath for that to happen. Let's just hope this developmental phase will attribute to him having an award winning personality. As for me, I'll keep the gloves on hand with the air freshener and a change of clothes - for both of us.

Kathrine Verner has extensive personal experience in improving quality of life by analyzing and taking action to change the affects past experiences, anxiety, and compulsions have in her existence. Stop by and read the blog for support, ideas, and a unique perspective at http://www.theinnerskinpicker.com.

By Kathrine Verner