I have a seventeen year old with autism. When he was diagnosed with autism at the age of four I was just devastated. I was a single mother trying to put food on the table and now this. What is autism and how do I get rid of it? How do I help my son? Who is going to take care of him when I am gone? You have a million questions running thru your head and the answers are not coming fast enough.

I found out that when your child is diagnosed with a disability there is a grieving period. Every parent wants their child to grow up and be a doctor, lawyer, or save the world in some fashion. But when you have a child with a disability you need to revise your thinking in every way. You grieve for the hopes and dreams you had for this child. The grieving period is for acceptance of the child you have before you. I quickly learned that without acceptance of my son's disability I was not accepting him. The grieving is for all the preconceived notions you had before your child was born. Do not skip this step, grieving is an important step to being the best advocate for your child.

One of the issues my son was having was dealing with textures. He didn't like touching anything that would make his hands dirty. He would eat a chicken leg by stabbing the meaty part with a fork. At school they wanted him to finger paint; you would think that would be simple right. I have a series of pictures of him finger painting on a paper plate and the look on his face is like they put "poo" on his hands. But it got worse he didn't like the soap to wash his hands to get the paint off.

During this time I would go to work and tell my girlfriend about all the things my son was doing. I would be frustrated and upset. She would just laugh. I am at the brink of tears all the time and she is crying because she is laughing too hard. I think she is crazy for thinking this stuff is funny, after all she thinks "Silence of the Lambs" was a comedy. Then she started to come to me and ask what did he do now? Slowly, I started to see the wisdom in her humor. My son was happy and the only person that was miserable was me.

Humor is a great thing to find in all situations. I try to see it whenever dealing with my son. It has been a useful tool in defusing his tantrums; I have actually thrown myself on the floor and pretended to have a tantrum like my son. If he can see the humor in what he is doing it is more likely it will defuse more quickly.

However, I do not think "Silence of the Lambs" was a comedy, I do see the wisdom in my girlfriend's humor. Laughing is the best medicine in the face of adversity.