By Heike Jung

As you look at your adolescent son or daughter, do you often wonder: "What is he/she thinking?" or "Who is this child?" Does it seem as if your carefree, loving and trusting child is turning into a withdrawn, skeptical individual and, sometimes, rebellious human being? Are you even afraid that your child might be depressed, taking drugs or hanging out with the wrong crowd? Does school work seem to have been put on the "back burner"?

The Teen Brain, like its body, is not fully grown up yet. As Frances Jensen, a Harvard expert on epilepsy, explains in her article, "The Teen Brain: It's just not Grown Up Yet", scientist used to think human brain development was complete by age 10. But that is not true. For one thing, the frontal lobes, the part of the brain that is in charge of making decisions based on consequences, are not fully connected until the mid 20s. This lack of connectivity explains why teenagers often seem self-centered and incapable of thinking about the effects of their behavior on other people. It's not that teenagers don't think, they just think differently, and their behavior can be frustrating at times, even to the point where you, as a parent, feel helpless and wish for outside objective support.

That's where Teen Life Coaching can be of help. The teen brain will evolve. How it will evolve is influenced by natural as well as social influences. You are aware of the social side effects. That's why you try to influence your teenager's circle of friends, the parties they go to, the educational trips they take, the classes they attend and the sports they participate in. As you know, "it takes a village to raise a child".

Research has shown that teens who have at least three adult role models, apart from their parents, are significantly less likely to engage in risky behavior. A Life Coach is another role model; a mentor; a person who takes a genuine interest in your teen's challenges and dreams; a person who can relate; who can weed through the jungle of problems, emotions and waterfall of words; who can re-arrange the thoughts to form coherent goals; who can help turn dreams into reality and create a toolbox of life skills for your teenager to use.

A Life Coach is not a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or counselor. A Life Coach is a mentor, a guide, a support system. Coaches work towards future goals. Helping and supporting your teenagers to find out how they can get from where they are now to where they want to be while overcoming any negative or limiting beliefs!

Dr. Heike Jung is the President and Founder of DBLCoaching, a Teen and Young Adult Life Coaching program that inspires, motivates, encourages and supports teens and young adults to turn their dreams into reality.  Dr. Jung is best known for her powerfully written Personal Vision Reports which she individually develops and constructs for her clients. She is dedicated and committed to her young audience and strongly believes that personal fulfillment and success can be achieved through an intense Desire for, a firm Belief in, and a determined Love for your dream.

By Heike Jung

As a teenager or young adult, do you find yourself thinking and dreaming "If only I had a great figure like Jennifer Lopez, my life would be so much better?" "If only I had the charm and wit of Jennifer Aniston, I could be a successful actress." "If only I was more like Mark Zuckerberg, I could be rich and successful and create the next Facebook." "If only I got into Yale, I could be the most successful lawyer"?

Stop! Use what you have and turn it into something great!

But what do you have? What are your special talents and skills? Yes, you too have talents and strengths that separate you from your friends, that make you unique, that give you a certain aura, quality and superiority. You have a natural ability within you to create something powerful and successful. Everybody is born with an innate talent. It's just that most people don't realize it. Those that do, harness and strengthen that talent to create success, recognition, power and wealth with it. Finding your talent is the path to finding your life purpose.

So what is your talent? I just read a book called "Now, Discover Your Strengths", by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. They define talent as any recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied. Some of the talents they defined in the book are: being inquisitive, charming, persistent, responsible, obstinate, dyslexic. All of these qualities can be productively applied. Yes, even obstinacy and dyslexia. Someone who is obstinate can become a very successful salesperson or lawyer because their talent is to stick to their guns when faced with overwhelming resistance. Dyslexia can cause a person to use language that is direct and straightforward and not overbearing and flooded with long and complicated words. As pointed out in the book, David Boies -- a celebrated trial attorney and one of the best litigators in the United States -- uses dyslexia to his advantage. He was recruited as counsel for the US Government's antitrust suit against Microsoft. His dyslexia causes him to avoid using long and complicated words. He knows what these words mean, but doesn't use them in his arguments because he's afraid that he might mispronounce them. This need to rely on simple words makes his arguments easy to follow. The authors point out that "for David Boies, dyslexia is a talent because he has figured out a way to apply this recurring pattern productively, and by combining it with knowledge and skills, to turn it into a strength".

Here are some key characteristics that can help define your talents:

    What is your spontaneous reaction to a situation, event, crisis, or conversation? How do you react? Are you nurturing, critical, emotional, or apathetic?

    Talents create yearnings and desires. What do you want to do on a daily basis and why?

    When talent is present, it causes rapid learning. Because you are talented at something, you learn something much easier and at a more rapid speed. You cannot wait to get the next assignment. You read; you research; you seek people who have knowledge in the same field, and you apply yourself far beyond normal expectation.

    You feel a strong satisfaction when using your talent. It feels good.

Using the above list, you should be able to find your natural talents. If you feel stuck and unsure about your talents, don't worry. You have been conditioned by society to hone in on your weaknesses. As the authors of "Now, Discover Your Strengths" point out, "unfortunately, most of us have little sense of our talents and strengths. Instead, guided by our parents, our teachers, our managers and psychology's fascination with pathology, we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected." The problem is that focus expands. If we focus on our weaknesses, we get more weakness. Here are a couple of findings from the studies Buckingham and Clifton have conducted:

    Parents were asked which grade they would spend the most time discussing with their child if they came home with the following report card: A in English, A in Social Studies, C in Biology, F in Algebra. The results: 77% of the parents said they would spend the most time discussing the failed Algebra grades.

    The authors also did a search to determine how many studies had been done on depression. They found more than 40,000 studies on depression, vs. only about 40 studies that had been conducted on joy and fulfillment.

While you sharpen and perfect your talents, you also have to deal with and overcome your weaknesses. A weakness is "anything that gets in the way of excellent performance." But don't despair, here are four strategies to help you manage your weaknesses as you strive to build your life around your strengths:

    Defeat whatever your weakness is by making a concerted effort to overcome it. You know you have to pass your French class to graduate High School, so just hunker down and do the work. Keeping your focus on what lies ahead will help get you through the tough times.

    Design a support system or hire a Life Coach who will help you manage your weaknesses and keep you motivated and focused.

    Use one of your strongest themes to overwhelm and beat your weakness.

    Find a friend, parent or coach to help you handle the areas that are not strengths of yours.

Stop focusing on the "if only", instead find your own talents. Use your talents and abilities to create the life that you want. Once you have discovered and determined your unique talents and abilities, start dreaming your own personal dream so that someday someone else will say "if only I could be like you".

Dr. Heike Jung is the President and Founder of DBLCoaching, a Teen and Young Adult Life Coaching program that inspires, motivates, encourages and supports teens and young adults to turn their dreams into reality.  Dr. Jung is best known for her powerfully written Personal Vision Reports which she individually develops and constructs for her clients. She is dedicated and committed to her young audience and strongly believes that personal fulfillment and success can be achieved through an intense Desire for, a firm Belief in, and a determined Love for your dream. To learn more visit her website at http://www.dblcoaching.com

By Heike Jung

It is a fact-- we all have problems. However have you noticed that some people seem to be buried under their pile of problems while others take on the challenge of yet another problem with enthusiasm and vigor? Have you noticed that some people find a problem in everything while others don't seem to make a big deal out of a problem and see it as a challenge? Have you noticed that some people try to run from problems while others face them head on?

We all face problems and challenges in our daily lives. Let's talk about how you can confront your problems and start to welcome your challenges. Here is a step-by-step approach to solving (almost) any problem:

    Change your attitude. Instead of rolling your eyes at yet another problem, realize that problems are a part of our daily existence. Enjoy a problem like you enjoy eating a piece of your favorite candy bar. See it as an opportunity for your personal growth and an opportunity to show off what you already know. (By the way, it is my personal belief that the amount of problems we attract is in direct proportion to the number of candy bars we eat during the day. Let you ponder that one!)

    Take the emotion out of the problem. You failed your math test. Ouch that hurt. Your pride is hurt; you are embarrassed; you are afraid of what others will say; you wonder how it will affect the rest of your school year. Remove those emotions as soon as possible and think about why you failed. What was the reason? You didn't study enough; you didn't understand the assignments; you didn't do your homework, etc.

    Work on the "Why". If you didn't make the swim team because you weren't fast enough, practice more. Find someone who can help you improve your stroke; who will help you practice; who will point out your weakness and help you improve; who will hold you accountable.

    Realize that there are a number of different solutions to your problem. Make a list of the possible solutions. Ask your support system to help you come up with a list. Focus on the solutions not on the problem. You want to go to Europe over your summer vacation but you have no money. Don't focus on the fact that you have no money, instead focus on making a list of how you could make money.

    Be determined and disciplined. No matter what problems your are faced with, it will take determination and discipline to go from where you are now to where you want to be in the future. Stick with your plan!

No matter what your problem, you can find a solution. Start with a small problem and work yourself up to more challenging problems. As with everything, finding solutions to your problems takes practice. Once you have managed a few of your smaller problems successfully, you will be ready to take on bigger ones with energy, drive and determination. You will notice that your problems are turning into challenges and that you are up to taking on any challenge that comes your way.

Dr. Heike Jung is the President and Founder of DBLCoaching, a Teen and Young Adult Life Coaching program that inspires, motivates, encourages and supports teens and young adults to turn their dreams into reality.  Dr. Jung is best known for her powerfully written Personal Vision Reports which she individually develops and constructs for her clients. She is dedicated and committed to her young audience and strongly believes that personal fulfillment and success can be achieved through an intense Desire for, a firm Belief in, and a determined Love for your dream. To learn more visit her website at http://www.dblcoaching.com.

By Heike Jung

Let's talk a little bit about achieving success. You already know that you must have a dream, a destination, realistic deadlines, a support team, determination and organization to become successful. Let's add one more detail. Let's focus on the detail.

Have you heard the saying: "It's all in the details." Well, it is. Details underscore who you are, what you believe in and how you want others to perceive you. Details require discipline. They are little things that bring huge value. Details are the seeds to your success.

Details start in the morning and follow you throughout the day. When you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face (first detail) you are much more likely to have a great rest of the day. When you put a little more effort into getting ready for school (second detail), be it wearing jeans without holes, a shirt without wrinkles or wearing your hair fashionable, toning down the make up or even just polishing your shoes, it makes a difference in how people perceive you and consequently how they act towards you. Try it!

As you go through the day, pay attention to more details. Smile just a little smile when someone speaks to you. Pick up a piece of trash that fell next to the trash can. Tie your shoelaces when you first notice them coming undone. Help someone put on their jacket. When you head to the restroom, spend a few minutes in front of the mirror and tidy up. At the end of the class, sit a little longer and put your books away neatly. Pay attention to the details.

On your way home, give someone you don't usually hang out with a ride home. You might find out a little detail about them that you did not know. It may change the way you think about them. If nothing else, it will make you feel better because you generously gave of your time (another detail often overlooked).

Once you get home, pay attention to how you enter the house, what you do with your books, how you greet your family, what you say, how you say it, etc. Feel the details: smile (did anyone notice?), walk differently (did they notice?), change your routine (did she notice?). See how little you can change about yourself and have it be noticed by your family. You may need to do this for a few days in a row. If they notice, let me know! I'm taking a survey on this.

When you put effort into the details, you will find that other people notice. At first it might only be an inconspicuous double take in your direction, but soon people will look at you with a new interest. They will be more likely to ask YOU for advice instead of telling you what to do. Your circle of friends will expand as will your feeling of satisfaction. So go ahead, let's see how your details can define your success.

Dr. Heike Jung is the President and Founder of DBLCoaching, a Young Adult Life Coaching program that inspires, motivates, encourages and supports young adults to turn their dreams into reality.  Dr. Jung is best known for her powerfully written Personal Vision Reports which she individually develops and constructs for her clients. She is dedicated and committed to her young audience and strongly believes that personal fulfillment and success can be achieved through an intense Desire for, a firm Belief in, and a determined Love for your dream. To learn more visit her website at http://www.dblcoaching.com