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When Parents Don't Trust You!

Sunday, April 20, 2014 2:03 PM Posted by Kids and Teens
By Karin Steyn

Trust is like money. It's so difficult to earn, easy to waste and no matter how much you have, it's just never enough.

For you, as a teenager, trust may seem to be a complicated word. Your parents are not always willing to trust you, which can cause a lot of tension between you. When they don't trust you, you may feel disappointed, angry and rebellious.

It's impossible for you to be the perfect teenager and child. You're going to make mistakes, whether you want to or not. But when it comes to trust, you need to understand something. The degree to which your parents give you their trust needs to match the degree to which you prove yourself trustworthy.

You need to ask yourself if your pattern of behaviour is worthy of their trust. Look at your track record. Have you been honest about where you've been going and what you've been doing in the past? Have you been in trouble because of your dishonesty? If you want their trust, you have to conduct yourself honestly and responsibly.

When you behave irresponsibly, your parents will definitely be disappointed in you. You will lose their trust because of the way you have behaved. The saying 'Actions speak louder than words' is true. It's not what you say to your parents that make them believe in you, but what you do.

When you have done something wrong, your parents should allow you to bear the consequences. If they don't, you will always think that there's an easy way out of trouble. You will grow up thinking that someone, somewhere, will bail you out (no matter what), clean up the mess and cover your mistakes. Will this honestly make you a better person?

It's not easy being a parent. Some parents have already lost the battle in raising their children. More and more parents turn to alcohol for life's problems and their children seem to follow suit.

A lot of parents worry about their children being alone in the company with the opposite sex. Others don't care. There are parents who are involved in illicit affairs. They go to strip clubs and bars and get up to all sorts of mischief themselves. As role models they have surely failed. They give their children too much money and the result is that teenagers today cannot distinguish between their needs and wants.

Life in itself is as complicated as we make it. You either have the desire to be good or you have the desire to be rebellious. Choose your path today. Decide whether or not you want to make a difference, not only in your life, but in the lives of your parents and friends. Then, work towards regaining your parents trust. Build up a record of trustworthy and responsible behaviour. Here are a few things to consider:

    Listen to your parents.
    If your parents give you chores, finish them.
    Keep your room clean.
    Be punctual for meals (those where you are expected).
    Do your homework and assignments, and get good results at school.
    Be financially responsible: don't abuse what is given to you or ask for more than you need.
    Admit making mistakes.
    Apologise when you have made a mistake.
    Be honest and speak the truth.
    If they allow you to go somewhere, commit to meet their curfew.

The important thing to remember is that while you may not be happy in your circumstances now, things eventually change. Sometimes they change for the better and sometimes things seem to get worse. Your attitude, at all times, is what carries you through. The way you think about your circumstances, your life and your parents makes a difference.

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http://www.karinsteyn.co.za

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