1) In teaching 2-3-4 year old kids, parents are very discipline in teaching their toddlers to say "thank you" and "please". It is an important lesson to be taught and an important lesson to be learned. However, that all seems to drop somewhere in grade school. Parents are saying "do it because I am your parent and I say so" - not many say "will you please do this for me?" The "thank you" seems to disappear as well. So...parents...throw your kids a curve by saying "thank you" and "please" when they deserve it...it may confuse them and wouldn't that be fun? Being nice to each other in a family is just another way of showing respect.
2) Most kids love to talk and they love to have someone listen to them. Never ask your kid "how was your day today?" They will always say "fine"...particularly Tweens (ages 8-12). Try your best NOT to "dish" out punishment at the dinner table. Any punishment connected with food and dining together may bring negative responses in the future for your kids.
The family dining table experiences should be fun, warm and loving. It is a sign of respect.
3) When you have to discipline your kid they want to know and understand what they are doing wrong that caused them to be punished. Most kids have short-term memory and most of the times do not even remember what they did to get your negative reaction because at that point it is usually all emotional. A yelling match and a spanking on the bottom without a "lesson to be learned" is nothing more than abuse. The kids think it is the parent's responsibility to explain to the kid why they are being disciplined. I'm not stupid I am sure the kids will argue that your explanation is stupid and they should not have been punished. However, if you ask the kids (when they are calm and detached from punishment) they will also tell you they want to know why their parents react the way they did by punishing them. Kids said they don't mind being disciplined as long as they know the "why". It just shows respect.
4) We talk to our friends and relatives about our kids. Show your kids respect by NOT talking about them when they can hear you talking about them; this incudes conversations over the telephone. Kids have big ears when they want to have big ears. It feels to a kid like it feels to an adult: when we hear other people talking behind our backs about us, it does not feel good.
We need to talk to other adults about our kids to our family and friends because it helps. However, make sure your kids are out of "ear-shot". Show a little respect.
Kids and Teens - I Should Not Live with These People
A three year boy was sitting in his car seat of his parents' car. They had stopped by McDonald's to eat in the car as they journeyed their way home from a weekend trip. The boy decided it would be a lot of fun rubbing his French Fries all over the car window to see the many designs he could create with the fry. His dad stopped to get gasoline and discovered what his son had done to the car window. The dad opened the back seat door, scolded the kid and took the fries away from him. Kids normally do not demonstrate unacceptable behavior until they are about two or three years old. Why? Because parents/grandparents up that point are well known for saying "Isn't that cute?" until it becomes un-cute.
As parents we need to remember that the first two years of a kid's life we have clapped when they sit up for the first time; we praise when they start to crawl and walk; we hug them when they start growing their teeth; we give them candy if they potty in the potty chair; we tell the whole family and the neighborhood when they speak their first word and the kid is thinking "what a good kid I am". Then our kids hit the 2-3 year mark and they start hearing the word "NO"; we are always correcting their behavior or words; we start yelling at them; putting them in time-out; some parents spank and the kid starts thinking, like the 3 year old, "I don't think I should be living with these people because I am always getting into trouble with them." Parents need to evaluate what their kids are doing before reacting. This is to give an opportunity for the parents to determine if it a kid's "creative moment" or intentional unacceptable behavior.
Some good circumstances and some bad circumstances. Such as: when the family gets home, the dad and son gets busy and washes the car window clean again with the dad explaining why he can not rub food on the car windows.
Parents cannot give a three year old permission to be on their own while eating any kid of food in the car unsupevised. Try to make sure a kid doesn't "always feel like they are getting in trouble with their parents". Before you kiss your kid goodnight, pay them a compliment.
2) Most kids love to talk and they love to have someone listen to them. Never ask your kid "how was your day today?" They will always say "fine"...particularly Tweens (ages 8-12). Try your best NOT to "dish" out punishment at the dinner table. Any punishment connected with food and dining together may bring negative responses in the future for your kids.
The family dining table experiences should be fun, warm and loving. It is a sign of respect.
3) When you have to discipline your kid they want to know and understand what they are doing wrong that caused them to be punished. Most kids have short-term memory and most of the times do not even remember what they did to get your negative reaction because at that point it is usually all emotional. A yelling match and a spanking on the bottom without a "lesson to be learned" is nothing more than abuse. The kids think it is the parent's responsibility to explain to the kid why they are being disciplined. I'm not stupid I am sure the kids will argue that your explanation is stupid and they should not have been punished. However, if you ask the kids (when they are calm and detached from punishment) they will also tell you they want to know why their parents react the way they did by punishing them. Kids said they don't mind being disciplined as long as they know the "why". It just shows respect.
4) We talk to our friends and relatives about our kids. Show your kids respect by NOT talking about them when they can hear you talking about them; this incudes conversations over the telephone. Kids have big ears when they want to have big ears. It feels to a kid like it feels to an adult: when we hear other people talking behind our backs about us, it does not feel good.
We need to talk to other adults about our kids to our family and friends because it helps. However, make sure your kids are out of "ear-shot". Show a little respect.
Kids and Teens - I Should Not Live with These People
A three year boy was sitting in his car seat of his parents' car. They had stopped by McDonald's to eat in the car as they journeyed their way home from a weekend trip. The boy decided it would be a lot of fun rubbing his French Fries all over the car window to see the many designs he could create with the fry. His dad stopped to get gasoline and discovered what his son had done to the car window. The dad opened the back seat door, scolded the kid and took the fries away from him. Kids normally do not demonstrate unacceptable behavior until they are about two or three years old. Why? Because parents/grandparents up that point are well known for saying "Isn't that cute?" until it becomes un-cute.
As parents we need to remember that the first two years of a kid's life we have clapped when they sit up for the first time; we praise when they start to crawl and walk; we hug them when they start growing their teeth; we give them candy if they potty in the potty chair; we tell the whole family and the neighborhood when they speak their first word and the kid is thinking "what a good kid I am". Then our kids hit the 2-3 year mark and they start hearing the word "NO"; we are always correcting their behavior or words; we start yelling at them; putting them in time-out; some parents spank and the kid starts thinking, like the 3 year old, "I don't think I should be living with these people because I am always getting into trouble with them." Parents need to evaluate what their kids are doing before reacting. This is to give an opportunity for the parents to determine if it a kid's "creative moment" or intentional unacceptable behavior.
Some good circumstances and some bad circumstances. Such as: when the family gets home, the dad and son gets busy and washes the car window clean again with the dad explaining why he can not rub food on the car windows.
Parents cannot give a three year old permission to be on their own while eating any kid of food in the car unsupevised. Try to make sure a kid doesn't "always feel like they are getting in trouble with their parents". Before you kiss your kid goodnight, pay them a compliment.
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