By Rhonda Ryder


Is Taking Action Part of the Law of Attraction Formula?

There has been so much feedback about the movie "The Secret" implying that you can wish your way into having something you want without taking action. Just visualize what you want and "poof" it"s yours.

For me, the message of taking action is clear throughout the entire movie. This is an important distinction to understand, especially when sharing the Law of Attraction with our kids and teens.

Most high-profile spiritual leaders (Dr. Joe Vitale, T. Harv Eker, Dr. John DeMartini, Mike Dooley, for instance) will tell you that you cannot expect to achieve your goals if you are unwilling to take action. If you want to start a business, for instance, you have to take the necessary steps.

The Law of Attraction does not mean that you simply picture something in your mind and you will create it. Perhaps that happens for some and if you know anyone who has reached that level of spiritual enlightenment, I"d love to interview them. I know these beings exist! But for the rest of us, we need to take the appropriate actions in the direction of our dreams.

You Don"t Have to Figure Out the "How"

The distinction here is that while you need to take action, you do not have to figure out the "How". In other words, you don"t have to figure out "How" your End Result is actually going to manifest. Just do what"s in front of you to do. The Universe will figure out the rest. Follow your guidance. Mediate every day so you can get in touch with your Source. Then ask yourself each day, what I am guided to do today?

If your teenager is starting an Internet business, for instance, she would need to decide what the product or service is going to be, do some research, get the hosting set up, choose a domain name, get the website designed and then market the website. However, like any entrepreneur, she will not have everything figured out. Perhaps she has no idea where she is going to get the money to hire a website designer. And that"s okay. The important thing is that she gets clear about her "End Result". What is her ultimate goal? What is her particular "Why" behind wanting to create this business? Here are some examples:

* Make enough money to buy a new car
* Travel throughout Europe this summer
* Start investing in stocks and live a luxurious lifestyle
* Buy my parents a nice gift for their anniversary
* Travel to Africa with youth group to feed hungry children

Help your child or teen identify his or her End Result, take the appropriate actions and not worry about how it's all going to come together. Let the Universe work its magic!

Say your son wants to get into a certain college but his grades are low. Should he just close his eyes and visualize better grades? Yes, it will be most helpful for him to visualize, but there are also other logical, appropriate actions he needs to take. Or perhaps your three-year old wants a new "talking" doll. If you wanted to take this opportunity to teach her how to attract what she wants, you could say something like this: "What actions can we take to get the new doll? You could practice picturing what you want in your mind and then you could take some actions too. You could save up money in your piggy bank or ask Grandma to buy it for your birthday. Do you have any other ideas?"

If I think back on how certain things have happened for me, I could not have orchestrated it better if I tried. I had no way of knowing that attending a seminar in Atlanta and meeting person "A" would lead me to person "B" which would lead me to an interview with person "C" that would skyrocket my career.

Let's fact it. It is highly doubtful that we know everything there is to know about how the Universe works. So how could we possibly do a better job at planning and arranging things to our own benefit than the Universe? The point is for us to check with Spirit and ask "What's next? What actions should I take?" Teach your children how to check in with spirit. And then teach them to trust the guidance they receive and follow their instincts throughout the day.

What's the Best Way to Teach Kids The Law of Attraction?

If you want to share The Law of Attraction with your children, make your own spiritual growth your first priority. In fact, that is the most precious gift you can give to your children: a parent who is nurturing his or her own spirit.

This year make Christmas a memorable one for the kids, or the teen on your list. Some children seem to just about everything, but here are some awesome gift ideas that the little ones are sure to love and make you look like a HERO! Christmas time is a great time to share with loved ones, especially the kids. Every little boy and girl out there looks forward to Christmas all year round, so make it the most memorable day of the year!

For The Kids

What are some of the most popular Christmas gift ideas this year for kids? That is very simple, video games, accessories and game systems. Kids just love the different games for the Sony Playstation, Xbox or the Nintendo Gamecube. The kids really seem to enjoy not only the games and consoles, but also the accessories like a steering wheel for a car game, or a carrying case for their system.

Some other great gift ideas for the children are the popular scooters and electric pocket bikes. Watching the kids experience the thrill of a real motorcycle without the speed and danger. Most only reach about 15MPH, so they are pretty safe and the children have a lot of fun.

For Boys

Another popular Christmas gift idea for boys are the remote controls. Trucks, tanks and cars. Boys love them all. There is nothing like allowing them to watch them drive and operate a remote control vehicle. Parents enjoy this more than driving themselves because kids' eyes still light up when they drive. Adults are just trying to get from point A to point B as quickly as we can.

For Girls

Girls are a little more trivial when it comes to gifts. Some really good ideas are simple things like sing a long games, puzzles and games, but they also like those electric scooters to ride around the neighborhood. Of course girls love dolls and stuffed animals, but they like to do things the boys do also.

For Teens

What about the teen? They love getting gifts too on Christmas morning. They just get a little more expensive. The good news is there are some unique presents they will enjoy opening this year. Instead of searching all over the place the most popular gifts for teens this year are iPod MP3 players and iPod accessories.

iPod for some reason is one of the most popular electronic device out there. One main advantage of an Apple iPod MP3 player is the accessories made for it. Things like protective and stylish cases, speakers, radios and docking stations. They are completely portable, so teens can listen to their music anywhere. The accessory list goes on and on. Alarm clocks, boom boxes, carrying cases and more more. Even most home theater systems come with an iPod plug in.

This year give a great Christmas gift for the kids or the teens, but please remember those less fortunate than us and make his, or her Christmas a little brighter too. Donating to Toys for Tots, or a local Salvation Army is a great way to spread that Christmas joy to as many people as possible.

By Lance Winslow


Mandatory hurricane evacuations can be a living hell on families and the more kids and teens you have the more difficult it can become. Consider loading up all your kids into your SUV or minivan and spending 15 hours only to go 200 miles and then realizing that there are no hotel rooms within 1500 miles and the storm is 15 hours closer from when you started.

Imagine doing all this under the stress that you know that when you come back your home may be destroyed and you have lost everything. Additionally, you personally may be able to handle it and know that your family is OK and safe and therefore you have not a worry or care, nevertheless you know that it will be psychologically traumatic for your family and especially the teens and your children.

Many psychologists have done studies on the effect of hurricanes kids and teens after a large category hurricane and they have found that many of the kids and teens are quite a bit tougher than you might think. If you are a kid or teen then you know how tough you are and you may have to help your parents calm down if you are one of the tougher type kids.

Remember that your parents have built a life around their home and their family and whereas they still have their family left now they no longer have a home. This is where the kids and the teens can come in and help the family unit stay together by offering their love and support to their parents. Please consider this in 2006.

By Jeff Herring


Let's say you received a flyer for a new summer day camp in the mail that contained the following information:

"We take your kids and keep them inside all day long. We do not allow them to move around much. They will spend their day in front of screens, the TV screen, the computer screen, and the video game screen. We like to call it Screen Time. Instead of three meals a day, we feed them all day long with junk food to keep them from being hungry for meals. Our camp is only $250 a day, please send a check for the whole week."

Would you send your kid to this camp? Of course not! What parent in their right mind would?

So why do we do it?

So why do we let our kids do this everyday?

If you will indulge a 47 year old guy just one little "when I was young rant" here goes:

When I was a kid, they had to drag me inside for dinner or bedtime.

Many people my age tell me the same thing.

Most of these things do not happen all at once, they just sort of creep up on you.

What to do

Screen time is not necessarily a bad thing. It's when screen time is the only thing that it becomes a bad thing.

A strategy that has worked in our family and in the families with whom I counsel and coach is this:

For every hour that a kid spends in front of a screen, the kid has to spend an hour outside having fun.

Simple, powerful, it works. Now go use this stuff!

By Jeff Herring


I'm always impressed and amazed by the creative solutions that parents and families come up with to solve problems.

This creative and elegant solution came from a family with whom I once worked.

Their son had his own phone and an answering machine that they had provided. They decided that whenever their son violated his phone privileges, he would put the following on his answering machine or cell phone that said, "Hi, this is John. I've violated my phone privileges and I can't talk to you today. So just leave a message and I'll talk to you tomorrow at school."

This one worked so well that they had to use it only twice.

Another family created solution

Another family has learned just to stop calls at a certain hour of the night. After that time, no non-emergency calls for their child would be accepted. They define an emergency as something that would cause imminent physical or emotional harm.

If you try these solutions and they don't work, or you are saying to yourself, "That would never work in my family!" that could indicate a problem that requires professional assistance.

Some folks may see the phone as a small problem. But I think it's important to manage a small problem well. It's good practice for the bigger issues that may lie ahead.

By Jeff Herring


The difference between trying to control vs. manage a teen-ager is all in how you approach the situation.

A management approach meets the following six criteria:
1. The parents are clearly in charge
2. The teen, over time, learns and earns the ability to be more and more in charge of herself
3. There is a clear map for continually building trust and responsibility
4. The parents have a way to monitor the progress of the teen
5. There are clear consequences when the teen demonstrates that she cannot be in charge of herself (just as in the real world)
6. There is a clear map for how to earn back trust and responsibility.

The 6 criteria applied

Applying the six criteria to the issue of the phone, here are a couple of ideas you can try.

One is to start the teen out with a certain amount of phone time each day, say, 15 minutes. If they are able to honor that amount of time, say, for three months, they earn an additional five minutes of time, and so on.

If they violate the limit, they lose five minutes and the three months necessary for earning more time begin again. (The numbers here are just an example. You can change them to fit your own situation.)

Checking this out with our criteria for managing teen-agers, we see that the parents are clearly in charge, the kid has a way to earn more responsibility and trust; the parents have a way to monitor growth and progress; consequences are clear, and there is a map for rebuilding trust and responsibility when it is damaged.

By Jeff Herring


Q: We are having a big problem at our house over the use
of the phone. It rings constantly, we never get to see our
daughter and she would talk all night if we let her. Help!!

A. Using the phone seems to be a rite of passage for many teen-agers. If this has become a problem in your home, the good news is that at least your kid has friends and is not overly shy. The bad news is that telephone use is an area ripe for power struggles.

Over the years, I have seen families get into simply horrendous battles over this relatively simple issue.

2 things not to do

Except in the most extreme circumstances, don't completely cut your teen-ager off from the phone for more than a day. This is important because of the function the phone may serve in their lives.

For adults, the phone may be an intrusion, but for teens it may be an outlet, even their lifeline to friends.

Some frustrated parents actually take all the phones from
the house when they leave for work and lock them in the car
trunk, hooking them back up when they return home.

And they actually do this every day!

And then they wonder why their children want to fight back and
rebel.

What has happened here is that the parents have confused controlling an adolescent with managing an adolescent. As I've said before, trying to control a teen-ager is like trying to put pants on a gorilla. It's only going to frustrate you and make the gorilla angry.

1) In teaching 2-3-4 year old kids, parents are very discipline in teaching their toddlers to say "thank you" and "please". It is an important lesson to be taught and an important lesson to be learned. However, that all seems to drop somewhere in grade school. Parents are saying "do it because I am your parent and I say so" - not many say "will you please do this for me?" The "thank you" seems to disappear as well. So...parents...throw your kids a curve by saying "thank you" and "please" when they deserve it...it may confuse them and wouldn't that be fun? Being nice to each other in a family is just another way of showing respect.

2) Most kids love to talk and they love to have someone listen to them. Never ask your kid "how was your day today?" They will always say "fine"...particularly Tweens (ages 8-12). Try your best NOT to "dish" out punishment at the dinner table. Any punishment connected with food and dining together may bring negative responses in the future for your kids.
The family dining table experiences should be fun, warm and loving. It is a sign of respect.

3) When you have to discipline your kid they want to know and understand what they are doing wrong that caused them to be punished. Most kids have short-term memory and most of the times do not even remember what they did to get your negative reaction because at that point it is usually all emotional. A yelling match and a spanking on the bottom without a "lesson to be learned" is nothing more than abuse. The kids think it is the parent's responsibility to explain to the kid why they are being disciplined. I'm not stupid I am sure the kids will argue that your explanation is stupid and they should not have been punished. However, if you ask the kids (when they are calm and detached from punishment) they will also tell you they want to know why their parents react the way they did by punishing them. Kids said they don't mind being disciplined as long as they know the "why". It just shows respect.

4) We talk to our friends and relatives about our kids. Show your kids respect by NOT talking about them when they can hear you talking about them; this incudes conversations over the telephone. Kids have big ears when they want to have big ears. It feels to a kid like it feels to an adult: when we hear other people talking behind our backs about us, it does not feel good.
We need to talk to other adults about our kids to our family and friends because it helps. However, make sure your kids are out of "ear-shot". Show a little respect.

Kids and Teens - I Should Not Live with These People
A three year boy was sitting in his car seat of his parents' car. They had stopped by McDonald's to eat in the car as they journeyed their way home from a weekend trip. The boy decided it would be a lot of fun rubbing his French Fries all over the car window to see the many designs he could create with the fry. His dad stopped to get gasoline and discovered what his son had done to the car window. The dad opened the back seat door, scolded the kid and took the fries away from him. Kids normally do not demonstrate unacceptable behavior until they are about two or three years old. Why? Because parents/grandparents up that point are well known for saying "Isn't that cute?" until it becomes un-cute.

As parents we need to remember that the first two years of a kid's life we have clapped when they sit up for the first time; we praise when they start to crawl and walk; we hug them when they start growing their teeth; we give them candy if they potty in the potty chair; we tell the whole family and the neighborhood when they speak their first word and the kid is thinking "what a good kid I am". Then our kids hit the 2-3 year mark and they start hearing the word "NO"; we are always correcting their behavior or words; we start yelling at them; putting them in time-out; some parents spank and the kid starts thinking, like the 3 year old, "I don't think I should be living with these people because I am always getting into trouble with them." Parents need to evaluate what their kids are doing before reacting. This is to give an opportunity for the parents to determine if it a kid's "creative moment" or intentional unacceptable behavior.

Some good circumstances and some bad circumstances. Such as: when the family gets home, the dad and son gets busy and washes the car window clean again with the dad explaining why he can not rub food on the car windows.

Parents cannot give a three year old permission to be on their own while eating any kid of food in the car unsupevised. Try to make sure a kid doesn't "always feel like they are getting in trouble with their parents". Before you kiss your kid goodnight, pay them a compliment.

Good things can come from sour lemons – at least sometimes. Today at our church a merry gaggle of children organized a “Lemon-Aid” stand – complete with splattery hand-lettered signs. The lemonade tasted great, the customer service was fabulous and dollar bills fell into the collection basket. All of the proceeds will go to relief efforts for Hurricane Katrina victims.

It was a bright spot in a bleak week. If you’re like our family – you’ve watched the images on the news showing horrific devastation, separated loved ones, people pushed to the brink of endurance, and communities on the threshold of despair. The human suffering oozing from our TV screens is overwhelming and painful.

If you’re not in the gulf states, it’s easy to turn away and nuzzle back into our daily routines – and push the human tragedy from our minds. But we shouldn’t. Each of us can do something. This is the time to teach our children about giving back to the community and helping neighbors in need. There are lots of ways for your family to make a difference. Here’s ten ideas:
(1) Donate money together. Money is what is most needed after a disaster. Decide as a family to take money that your family had planned to use for something else – a dinner out at a restaurant, a special purchase, movie tickets – and donate it to help hurricane victims. Downscale your other activities appropriately – and you’ll teach your children money management as well as charity. Donate through the American Red Cross Hurricane Relief Fund at 1-800-HELP-NOW or www.redcross.org.
To help your children understand where their money goes, talk about the meals and services the Red Cross provides to victims and visit their website for updates on relief efforts. Often the story vignettes online sharing an affected family’s story can drive home how important your donation is. If you’d like to explore donating to another relief group, CNN has compiled a list with links to aid agencies.

(2) Talk about the storm’s impact on pets and donate funds to aid in animal recovery. If your children love animals, the ASPCA, has a Hurricane Katrina relief fund to help reunite families with their pets and rebuild shattered shelter programs. Additionally, the Noah’s Wish shelter in Slidell has a large effort underway to reunite stranded pets with their owners and is accepting donations to support their shelter housing hundreds of animals separated from their owners by Hurricane Katrina. You can see pictures of pets online and talk with your children about how a family might feel about getting a lost pet returned after a disaster of this magnitude.

(3) Send a health kit, blanket kit or school kit. Thousands of families need the most basic supplies. The United Methodist Committee on Relief has packing lists online for organizing these easy kits. Many families and congregations like packing these kits because the aid is tangible – and you know that people in need will use items you personally pack. The United Methodist Church has a disaster response effort underway in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi. Health kits and blankets are especially needed, and you can get packing instructions online.

(4) Pack a family food box. Louisiana Southern Baptists are accepting donations of “family food boxes” to help families get back on their feet. Each box contains dried food products to help families get back on their feet. It’s very important that packing instructions be followed exactly. This can be a fun family, neighborhood or church project and you can download packing instructions and photos of a properly packed box online.

(5) Organize a tool or blanket drive. Church World Service is encouraging congregations to collect blankets and tools. They can provide you with a video and other information to help you conduct a blanket and tool drive in your church.

(6) Help your children or teens hold a fundraiser. The “Lemon-Aid” stand is a great example of young people taking initiative to make a difference. Your children can probably come up with plenty of ways to secure donations to help hurricane relief. They can make “hurricane relief” bands, organize a bake sale, babysit and donate their proceeds, etc. If you want to multiply your efforts, invite your children’s sports team, club, or school to participate. Youth Service America has posted a website loaded with ideas.

(7) Adopt a school or club. Your child’s school or youth organization could “adopt a school” or “adopt a chapter” in Alabama, Louisiana or Mississippi that needs help recovering from the storm and develop a longer-term relationship. For example, the Louisiana 4-H Foundation has set up a relief fund to aid employees. Girls Scouts USA and Boy Scouts USA have issued suggestions for ways to involve local chapters.

(8) Plan a longer term service-learning project in partnership with young people. The National Service-Learning Clearinghouse has compiled a guide to help young people, college students and teachers planning service-learning projects to respond to Hurricane Katrina. Service learning projects typically involve assessing a need, designing a project to meet the need, and active reflection while the young person is implementing the project.

(9) Volunteer with your local chapter of the American Red Cross. Due to the ongoing disaster relief effort, more than 4,000 Red Cross volunteers have left their families and gone to the disaster zone. Local chapters will need even more volunteers to help with needs at home and answer increased calls from the public. Volunteering as a family or on your own can be a rewarding experience.

(10) Publicize relief efforts and invite others to help. Issue a press release about your relief project and invite others in your community to help. Place website banners for the American Red Cross on your organization, family or business website. Many religious groups have bulletin inserts or fliers for distribution at services – download these fliers online and distribute them.

Here's the problem. Kids are getting fatter and fatter.
Our kids, your kids, everyone's kids. It is a problem that is well-documented: Researchers say a combination of too much television and video games, cuts in school physical education programs and a sugary, high-fat diet have left kids dangerously out of shape.

Fifteen percent of school-age children are estimated to be obese, and the American Heart Association reported recently that more than 10 percent of U.S. children from ages 2 to 5 are overweight, up 7 percent from a decade ago. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention survey released a couple of years ago found that nearly 23 percent of children ages 9 to 13 weren't physically active at all in their free time. Stephen R. Daniels, M.D., Ph.D., professor of pediatrics and environmental health at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center said "In African Americans and Hispanics the prevalence of overweight children is as high as 20 percent."

What's the solution?
Some experts suggest, along with improved dietary patterns, interventions need to emphasize reducing the amount of time children and teens spend watching television and playing video games.

A recent US report F as in Fat, concluded than 45 percent of Americans aged between 12 and 17 played video or computer games or used a computer for two or more hours every day. Furthermore, the US state with the highest percentage of overweight children also had the highest percentage of children spending four hours-plus in front of a screen every day.
Inactivity is one of the leading risk factors in developing type 2 diabetes so encouraging kids to incorporate more physical activity every day, in any form, is a priority.
Teens love computer games right? Ok, encouraging already technology obsessed children to get 'into' computer games might seem like a bad idea.

Unless, of course, the game is LIVE.
Live gaming replicates the compelling action of computer games, and ensures children remain active, whilst still having fun.
Nicole Lander said participants are always amazed at how much like real gaming it is.
"They really feel as though they are playing their favorite computer game - even the gaming guns are the same!" Nicole said.
Live gaming combines the excitement of role-playing, team-building, and adventure, and stimulates kids both mentally and physically.
Participants are equipped with gaming guns that utilize harmless infra-red beams, much like a TV remote, to target other gamers as they enact various scenarios in safe, outdoor locations.
The game involves no mess, or risk of injury from harsh paintballs, and all ages, genders, and levels of fitness are accommodated.
Andrew Roberts was 15 years old when he started playing.

Just like online gaming everyone selects their own codename; Andrew's is "Reaper."

Teen Attention Deficit Disorder - They're Being Treated With Hallucinogens
Would you think it was Timothy Leary, Ken Kesey and the 'Merry Pranksters' Haight-Asbury Bay hippies era revisited?
What would you think if your child's attention span issues were being treated by well-intentioned district psychologists with a known hallucinogen from a mushroom called psilocybin?
Think again, because that's almost the case in many American schools, as the pharmacy kit-bag opens further with speculative treatment therapies for teen attention deficit disorder. Over 6 million Americans each day receive behavior modifying medications like Ritalin for alleged attention deficit disorder. Perhaps no wider spreading trend, beyond over-budgeted and under-performing schools themselves, should cause parents to wonder than the medicating of teenagers in the pursuit of "normative standards".

Straight Talk On Attention Disorder In Young People. Here's the current list of "usual suspect" symptoms to look for if you think your child may have attention deficit disorder. He'll be fidgety, squirmy, evidencing low concentration, bored, unable to complete assignments, forgets what was taught in class.

Psychiatric Meds - Anti Depression And Anti Anxiety... 4 million miles of nerve fibers are imbedded within your brain's neural architecture of over 10 billion cells.
Stimulants And Amphetamines - Major Chemical Interventions. Remarkably, a clinically observed "over-active" child showing alleged attention deficit hyperactivity disorder receives mood-altering powerful stimulants from the class known as methylphenidates under brand names including Ritalin and Concerta. Now to the stimulants add another potion from the class of legally approved amphetamines under labels such as Dexedrine or Adderall.

Ritalin Side Effects. It's true that 70% or more of the "standard population" will respond favorably to Ritalin for attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.
* Hyper-Nervous Jitters. Physical manifestations of Ritalin abuse can include profound states of agitation and "jittery feeling". Doctor's response? Take another intervention drug or beta blocker blood pressure med...
* Irritability And Relapse Depression. As powerful attention disorder meds wear off, people can experience anger, irritability and a form of 'rebound' short-term depression. Solution? Other drugs may be prescribed such as serotonin or the class of alpha agonist medications.
* Stomach And Digestive Disorders And Headaches. It's a known fact that amphetamines and stimulants, including Ritalin, can cause appetite suppression. Solution? While avoiding Ritalin abuse, users may be asked to time their meds, in order to "wear off" just before meal times.
* Sleeping Disorder. "Short" and "long" acting stimulants remain neural-blockers, not matter which way you look at it. Not surprisingly, the chemically induced stated of "controlled stimulation" carries some unwanted baggage, such as sleeping disorders. Reduced meds may be a partial solution.
* Increased Blood Pressure And Blood Glucose. Borderline diabetics may trigger adult onset diabetes due to elevated blood glucose. Similarly, these stimulants and amphetamines meds stimulate all sorts of metabolic activity, including blood pressure.
* Nervous Tics Exacerbated. If a patient normally exhibits the sort of patterned nervousness and "tics", then these drugs will amplify these tics as well as the underlying attention span disorder complex.

Non Pharmaceutical Alternatives. Fortunately, families can now turn back into time, and begin selective use of various herbs like St. Thomas Wort, nature's valium, rosemary, ginseng, centella asiatica as well as to an evolving class of exercise and visual programming aids that allegedly can actually train the ADD-HD person to create new neural pathways (think brain right and left hemispheres) to adjust for certain imbalances