Studies have made the news again regarding television and our children. Too much television is not good for our kids. The very presence of a television in your child’s room can be a determining factor in how well your kids do academically. Kids today are continuing to be “plugged in.”

Limit television viewing. Move the TV out of you kids’ rooms. We move the television into a common and give our kids time limits. A comment I hear often when people ask me about the Tokens for TV program is what do my kids do now? Our kids are so used to being plugged in they don’t know what to do. They’re bored.

It doesn’t matter if your children are 6 or 16, the answer is the same. It’s time to teach our kids how to play again. Having a time for quiet and play are important life skills. Start with the following ideas to help your kids in their unplugged play:
• Play a game. Dig out your board games. Checkers, Chess, Monopoly and Sorry! are all great games.
• Dig out the playing cards. Go Fish, Old Maid, War… There are even other specific card games such as Uno out there. You can also teach your children how to play solitaire.
• Be a bookworm. Go to the library in your home or your community. Scour the thrift shops and yard sales. Be a part of a book exchange. There are also some great audio books available at the library. You can also purchase audio books at thrift stores, department stores and online.
• Hands-on fun. Bring out the clay or play dough.
• Build something. LEGO’s, Lincoln Logs and K’nex. Don’t have these construction pieces? Try creating structures using toothpicks and connecting them together with green peas. Sounds funny, but it works!
• Go outdoors. Outdoor games like marbles, jacks, hopscotch not only occupy your kids, they will also strengthen coordination skills. Too hot or cold out? The garage, basement and/or kitchen floors will work fine too.
• Become an outdoor artist. Buy a tub of colored chalk from the local discount store and give your kids a theme to create their own masterpieces on your front or back sidewalks. Take pictures of them for your family album.

Be prepared for a little bit of whining or frustration on your kids’ part. It’s normal. It won’t take long and your kids will be able to find other things to do instead of plugging in and tuning the world out.

There are many variations of homemade play dough. The Internet or any kid’s craft book are great resources if you would like more ideas. There are edible versions as well (less clean up!). The following recipe contains items commonly found in most kitchens.

UNCOOKED SALT DOUGH
Ingredients:
• 3 cups of flour
• 1/4 cup of salt
• 1 tablespoon of cooking oil
• 1 cup of water
• food coloring (liquid is best)

Instructions:
1. Mix flour and salt together in a large bowl.
2. Add water and oil slowly.
3. Add desired amount of food coloring.
4. Store dough in air tight container.

Add water (a little at a time) if dough is too stiff. If dough is too sticky, add more flour.

Homework Help for the Attention Deficit Child
Relax. We have some tried-and-try ADHD information that should get your A.D.D. child on the right homework path.
The hyperactive or A.D.D. child especially needs consistency, a work place free of distractions, solid encouragement and praise - along with established consequences if the positive homework tips fail.

Establish a Set Homework Routine:
Work with your child to develop that routine. Some Attention Deficit and hyperactive children work best immediately after school while others need an hour or two to settle down before jumping back into studies.

To help the A.D.D. child better focus, the work area should be free of distractions, such as televisions, video games, music and other people.

Mandatory Homework Time:
We are strong proponents of establishing an allotted amount of homework time on school days. This set amount of time gives consistency to the hyperactive or A.D.D. child and discourages rushing through homework.

Talk with your child's teachers about the average recommended homework time for the child's grade level. In general, elementary school children should spend about 30 minutes each night on homework. Middle school and high school students should spend about one hour on homework.

If the child does not have homework that evening or they finish before the allotted time, the child can read until their mandatory homework time is over.

"Chunking" and Scheduled Breaks:
The hyperactive and A.D.D. child often experiences difficulty with long-range tasks. "Chunking" homework for the hyperactive or A.D.D. child helps break the homework task into smaller, more manageable pieces.

You can break a 20-problem math assignment into four chunks of five problems each, with a small break in between chunks. If using the mandatory homework time schedule, set a kitchen timer to ring every five to 15 minutes, depending on the child's attention span.

Rewards/Consequences:
As with any parenting issue, rewarding good behavior and disciplining poor behavior motivates kids toward good behavior. The A.D.D. child needs all the rewards they can get, along with firm and consistent consequences.

The homework contract clearly states that when the homework is completed, the child will earn a reward. The contract also clearly outlines consequences for not completing homework.
You can offer daily modest rewards like earning time to play Gameboy, the right to choose a favorite dinner or a modest treat or special privilege. You can give out one point for every night of completed homework for the child to cash in for a trip to the zoo after earning five points, for instance.

Effective consequences for not completing homework are losing phone, computer, stereo and television privileges for the evening. It is important that you remain calm, firm and consistent on nights when Attention Deficit Disorder child decides to get into a power struggle over homework. It may take a couple consequence days before the child realizes that completing homework makes for a better night than not doing homework.

The goal is to develop a solid homework habit. With a homework habit established, better grades will automatically follow.
Don't forget to offer the intangible rewards of smiles and praise when your child puts the effort into completing his homework. A "way to go" goes a long way in positive reinforcement for Attention Deficit Disorder children.

Additional Homework ADHD Information:
• Using an assignment book for the A.D.D. child helps parents keep track of the child's daily and weekly homework.
• If the teacher does not use an assignment book, develop a system with the teacher so you know the child's homework assignments.
• If the A.D.D. child insist on heavy parental homework help, require that the child attempt problems at least twice before asking for homework help. Attention Deficit and hyperactive children may not be able to receive "A"s on every homework and school assignment. Instead of getting hung up on the traditional grading scale, give you’re A.D.D. child an "A" for effort.

Back to school can be a tricky time for lots of reasons, especially if you have changed over the summer. You and your friends may look different in the fall than you did when you left school in May. You may be darker from spending time outside or have braids from your trip to the beach, you may be stronger from your summer job or wilderness camp, you may have a new hair cut or new clothes. If you had a growth spurt over the summer, you may be a different size or shape.

It can be stressful to wonder what others will think of your new look, especially if you are already self-conscious or you hang with a group that tends to judge people’s looks. Hopefully your friends are your friends because you like each other, have fun together, support each other, and feel good about yourself when you're with them. When you see your friends for the first time after the summer, maybe you could say things like, “I am SO glad to see you!” and give them a hug or a high-five, instead of saying how good they look. Grown-ups comment on each other’s looks (especially weight) all the time, but it’s not a very grown-up thing to do. Even though “You look so good!” is a compliment, it’s a negative if we are only focusing on someone’s appearance over all their other qualities. The problem is that it’s the easiest thing to focus on at first glance, and sometimes we fall back on appearance comments when we don’t have anything else to say.

If one of your friends says, “Did you see so-and-so? Did you see how she looks?” or “What happened to her over the summer?” you could say, “I feel self-conscious about looking different this year, let's not talk about how people look right now,” “I’m trying not to gossip this year,” or something like that. It may be easier to just say, “I like the way that looks” or “Yeah, but she’s brave for dying her hair blue” or some other comment that turns a negative into a positive.

If you are the person making those mean comments, remember they don’t just affect the person you’re talking about – in fact that person may not ever know. In the end, negative comments about other people can make you feel cool at first, but they usually make you and the people around you feel worse later.

The person judging feels so insecure that they have to point out other people’s flaws so no one will notice theirs. No matter how together or cool someone looks on the outside, it may not match their feelings. The saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is so untrue. If you’ve ever found out that people have been talking about you behind your back, or if you’ve ever been teased right to your face, you know that words can hurt a lot. Even small comments. I know changing is hard, and feeling different is hard, too. Even grown-ups have a hard time pointing out to our friends that what they are doing hurts. But when we are feeling grown-up, we do, because judging people on their looks hurts all of us, and it's worth it to make the change.

Teps on Talking with Your Kids about Sex
Sexuality is a normal part of growing up. For most parents and caregivers, though, sex is often an uncomfortable topic to approach with their kids. Some people fear that talking openly about sex will give the message “you should have sex and lots of it.” You as a parent or caregiver can be a healthy role model for them, and teach them limits and boundaries while recognizing their natural curiosities.

Teaching children about safety and responsibility is very important to their development. Sharing your values with them openly and giving them reasons behind your values can be very meaningful and can influence children to think before they act. Not speaking with children about sex increases the likelihood of them finding out misinformation from their peers or encourages them to practice unsafe sex. Keeping kids “in the dark” about sex can be likened to not teaching them household safety; what they don’t know could hurt them.

Children and adolescents often think they are invincible, that they will not get pregnant or contract any sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) such as HIV, Herpes, or other diseases too numerous to mention. It is important to approach the topic of sexuality, to discuss the pleasures and risks of sex with them. “If all my friends are doing it….” As a parent, you have the ability to counteract some of the peer pressure with healthy messages.

The following are a few suggestions you may use to discuss sex openly with children and adolescents:
1. Educate yourself about child and teenage sexual development, and safer sex. You can read materials, attend workshops, or watch videos about how to talk you’re your kids about sex before they become sexually active. Talk with your children about their bodies, including body functions in a way they can understand based on their age. Avoid shaming them for being curious about sexuality.
2. Discuss your values about sex, and why you chose those values.
3. Talk about possible positive and negative outcomes of sexual behavior.
4. As needed, use some age-appropriate educational books, videos, or pamphlets geared to children and adolescents.
5. Allow your children to ask questions about sex, and be as honest as you can with them.
6. Talk with children and teens about what to expect from their bodies due to hormonal changes, such as development of breasts, menstruation, masturbation, wet dreams, body hair, genitals, etc. so they are not “freaked out” by these natural changes.
7. Discuss safer sex practices, and unsafe ones. Include information about birth control, risks of various sexual activities such as kissing, petting, and intercourse, as is age appropriate.
8. Take your youngster workshops, sex education classes, or to a clinic so they can have access to information and resources.

A young person’s high self-esteem goes a long way.
If you are too uncomfortable discussing the issues, you can also seek consultation with a therapist that can guide you through. Either way, there is help and resources available.
Whether we like it or not, children and teens are usually curious about sexuality. It is part of growing up. Encourage them to make informed and healthy decisions. Make yourself available to them as a listener and resource in case things to go awry. There are no guarantees that they won’t rebel, act irresponsibly, or find themselves in troubling circumstances. Sometimes, you may need additional support or intervention. You might want to access a local agency or find a counselor or coach that can help you and your kids succeed and thrive!

One of my first "Big Dates" was a Cotillion dance in 8th grade...or was it seventh? Cotillion was an attempt by a local "grande dame" to nurture refined manners in a group of young teens along with ballroom dancing instruction. Once a week we would walk a couple blocks from the middle school to the K of C Hall located on the 3rd floor of a downtown building. A virtual skyscraper in our town! Guys wanting a little money would hang about by the door and help the instructor out of her car ...open the door. These kind of brownie points paid a couple bucks cash! If you were really good you would carry some of her stuff up the 3 flights of worn wooden stairs. We would then partner up and learn the rhumba, the foxtrot, the bossa nova, jitterbug, waltz etc. Every so often we would switch partners and during the session you would dance with each of the 50 girls a couple times. All very open stance and supervised...but still at that age, and for a nerdy guy still in his Clark Kent frames it was something of a thrill.

Jenny (names have been changed to protect the sweet and innocent) was a cute little girl from my neighborhood. She lived about 4 blocks away so I only saw her when I was walking home. Many days Jenny would be waiting by that tree till I passed by and smile nervously saying "Hi". I too would say "Hi". God only knows what disasters would have occured if I had stopped to talk any further! But this was earthshaking stuff making my head spin on the rest of my walk home.

Well this brazen flirting continued and the pitch of her "Hi's" became higher and happier. When it was time to invite someone to the dance I found the number in the phone book and spent an hour or so making myself nervous. One of Jenny's 300 sisters answered the phone and I heard much yelling for her and thumping up and down stairs...I nearly hung up in fear! This was much worse than when the german shephard down the street was chomping on my leg as I rode past on my bike!

I don't remember the conversation with Jenny...I may have blacked out. But I know it was successful because weeks later I found myself at her house in a suit in this predicament with an enourmous corsage and no clue of how to pin it to her dress. We sat with friends and ate, all joking around. Jenny and I actually remembered the different dances and impressed the leader of the orchestra a little. Music, friends and dancing with a childhood crush.

Raising a Healthy Vegetarian Teen
Jessica is a competitive runner. One night at dinner, when her mother passes the chicken, Jessica says, “No thanks, I’ve decided to become a vegetarian.” Paul’s mother is concerned about the adequacy of his diet, since he is excluding many foods without adding nutritionally equivalent substitutes. She also misses Paul at family meals; he says there’s not much point in joining the family because they eat foods he can’t eat and seeing meat on the table bothers him.

These real-life scenarios of vegetarian teenagers are shared by author and researcher Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, PhD, MPH, RD, in her new book “I’m, Like, SO Fat!”: Helping Your Teen Make Healthy Choices About Eating and Exercise in a Weight-Obsessed World. After conducting one of the largest and most comprehensive studies on eating patterns and weight-related issues in adolescents (www.epi.umn.edu/research/eat), Neumark-Sztainer knows how American teenagers eat. Called Project EAT (Eating Among Teens), the University of Minnesota study was designed to track eating patterns, physical activity, dieting behaviors, and weight concerns of 4,746 adolescents and 900 parents.

Now more than ever, vegetarian families are bringing this once-alternative dietary choice to the attention of mainstream America. Evidence of the progress is everywhere: McDonald’s now offers an array of meatless salads; school lunch programs now offer vegetarian entrees; and meat alternatives, such as tofu, are sold in most supermarkets.

Taking a stand for animal rights by choosing not to eat meat fits well with teenagers wanting to be part of a cause. As they try to sort through their own philosophies on avoiding meat, poultry, or fish, teens may use their newfound food beliefs as a platform to further separate themselves from concerned family members. Many of these teens are looking out for the animal’s health but ironically can easily neglect their own health in the process.

How Many Teens Are Vegetarian?
In 2000, The Vegetarian Resource Group (VRG), a nonprofit group working to educate people about vegetarianism and related issues, conducted a Roper poll on 1,240 youths to track the number of young vegetarians in the United States (www.vrg.org/journal/vj2001jan/2001janteen.htm). They found that 2% of youth aged 6 to 17 never eat meat, fish, or poultry.
More recently, Project EAT found a 4% increase from the Roper poll results, showing that a total of 6% of the teens surveyed said they were vegetarians. The study also found that the first step many teens take on their way to becoming vegetarians is to eliminate red meat from their diet.

Reed Mangels, PhD, RD, coauthor of the American Dietetic Association’s position paper on vegetarianism and nutrition advisor for the VRG, gives feedback on why teens are choosing to become vegetarian. “In my experience, teens become vegetarian because of concerns about animals, the environment, health reasons, and a desire to emulate a peer or a celebrity,” she comments. “I do not feel that more teens are becoming vegetarian because of body image or weight issues than are becoming vegetarian for environmental or animal issues.”

Concerned Parents
So what do parents need to know if they want to raise children on a meatless diet or if a child suddenly announces that he or she is now a vegetarian? To start, parents must be aware of the nutritional needs teenage vegetarians have and how to creatively inspire their teenagers to eat a variety of foods. Finding healthy foods their children genuinely enjoy can go a long way toward ensuring that their children’s nutritional needs are being met. Nutrients that are usually supplied by meat, dairy, and egg products must be worked back into a teen’s diet to meet the recommended dietary allowance for protein, calcium, iron, and vitamin B12.

How concerned are mothers who are already vegetarian? A mother of three and a vegetarian for more than 17 years, Naomi Arens says she would not mind if her children chose a vegetarian diet. “My kids like lots of vegetarian foods, such as tofu, so they would probably do fine.” She admits that in a “fast-food world,” though, eating vegetarian takes more time and planning, which she believes could be difficult for busy families making the switch.

Fortified juices, soy milk, and supplements provide calcium; one daughter also gets calcium from collards, kale, and broccoli, which the other daughter doesn’t like.

Family Communication Is Key
Communication between parents and teens and the example the parents set matter tremendously. The key to understanding why your child is bent toward this new way of eating is effective communication. Parents need to stay alert and be aware of their own food-related and body image issues and the messages they are sending to their children. Project EAT found that teens whose parents reported eating more fruits, vegetables, and dairy foods were also more likely to eat more of these foods.

Compromise is the best way for a “nonvegetarian” family to adapt to a vegetarian teen. Parents should develop a plan to include the teen in food preparation or grocery shopping. Don’t change everything—your new vegetarian still needs to come to family meals and take the responsibility for the time it takes to eat and plan vegetarian meals.

According to Project EAT, the most common reason in choosing to not eat meat was to maintain or lose weight. Vegans were not as interested in weight control issues. Neumark-Sztainer believes that vegetarianism leading to an eating disorder is the exception rather than the rule. Ilyse Simon, RD, a private practitioner specializing in disordered eating, agrees, commenting that some of the young girls she counsels who are anorexic have become vegetarians because they kept restricting their food intake.

What Teens Are Up Against
It is estimated that teenagers may be the fastest-growing group of vegetarians and often require special resources and support when their families aren’t supportive of their dietary choice.

Lack of proper nutrition can cause teenage vegetarians to become protein malnourished since the meat is removed from the meal mix. And many teens do not realize that just because a vegetarian diet is lower in fat intake, it doesn’t mean it is lower in calories, especially when sugary desserts and snack foods are chosen.

Kevin Cummings, a vegetarian since the age of 12 and now in his late 20s, remembers how hard it was in middle and high school—specifically, dealing with ridicule about his vegetarian diet. Sasha Clark, a 16-year-old vegan since birth, says, “The worst part of being vegan used to be the teasing that I got, and some people ‘pitied’ me because I couldn’t eat what they ate. Clark was interviewed by VegFamily on her story of living as a vegan teen.

Creative Vegetarian Snacking
When a vegetarian teen is in the house, it’s time to get creative with the snack list. Have the house stocked with trail mix, popcorn, pizza, bean tacos, bagels, and dried fruits to keep the “ultimate teen snacker” eating well throughout the day with at least four to five mini-meals. Eating out is easier than ever before for vegetarian teens with the presence of Mexican food chains and many local Chinese, Japanese, and Mediterranean restaurants.

The philosophy of vegetarianism mixed with the unpredictable teenage mind will demand creative nutrition education and communication. The goal must be to foster a vegetarian lifestyle in adolescence that the teen can build on throughout young adulthood. Ultimately, their growth into healthy and informed adult vegetarians will someday influence their nutritional choices for their own children.

As adults, when we think of scrapbooks, we immediately think of photographs. When we look online, we find albums filled with photographs. Kids and teens also enjoy scrapbooking. Scrapbooks do not have to be photographs.

Here are several ideas for both kids and teens:
• Lyrics to songs
• Photos from magazines
• Postcards
• Greeting cards
• Collector cards
• Classmate photos from school
• School reports
• Photos off the web of a favorite television star or musician
• CD covers

Kids and teens enjoy collecting all types of things that can be put into scrapbooks. Older kids of course can use all of your scrapbooking supplies. You might be amazed at the creativity teens show through scrapbooking.

Young children often do better with very small scrapbooks, and your scrap paper. For the older kids, you may want to consider copying whatever they wish to scrapbook onto acid free and lignin free paper so that it does not turn yellow and crack.

Kids and teens both love stickers. We have always watched for sales on stickers. For very young children, I don’t think it’s necessary to worry about the stickers being acid free. I have from time to time found stickers that come 1000 to a box. I’ve bought those and had the younger kids use them in their scrapbooks.

One of my daughters actually created a wonderful album of all of her stickers. The pages were nothing but stickers.
Another idea for kids making scrapbooks is to use homemade albums versus the store bought albums. Punch three holes in the side of the cardstock and then add pages. You can either use white cardstock as your base, or full sheets of scrapbook paper. Punch holes in each page. Next time the kids say “I’m bored” suggest they create a scrapbook.

Popular Christmas Gifts For Kids and Teens
This year make Christmas a memorable one for the kids, or the teen on your list. Christmas time is a great time to share with loved ones, especially the kids.

For The Kids
What are some of the most popular Christmas gift ideas this year for kids? That is very simple, video games, accessories and game systems. Kids just love the different games for the Sony Playstation, Xbox or the Nintendo Gamecube. The kids really seem to enjoy not only the games and consoles, but also the accessories like a steering wheel for a car game, or a carrying case for their system.
Some other great gift ideas for the children are the popular scooters and electric pocket bikes. Watching the kids experience the thrill of a real motorcycle without the speed and danger.

For Boys
Another popular Christmas gift idea for boys are the remote controls. Trucks, tanks and cars. Boys love them all. There is nothing like allowing them to watch them drive and operate a remote control vehicle. Parents enjoy this more than driving themselves because kids' eyes still light up when they drive.

For Girls
Girls are a little more trivial when it comes to gifts. Some really good ideas are simple things like sing a long games, puzzles and games, but they also like those electric scooters to ride around the neighborhood. Of course girls love dolls and stuffed animals, but they like to do things the boys do also.

For Teens
What about the teen? They love getting gifts too on Christmas morning. They just get a little more expensive. Instead of searching all over the place the most popular gifts for teens this year are iPod MP3 players and iPod accessories.

One main advantage of an Apple iPod MP3 player is the accessories made for it. Things like protective and stylish cases, speakers, radios and docking stations. Alarm clocks, boom boxes, carrying cases and more more. Even most home theater systems come with an iPod plug in.

This year give a great Christmas gift for the kids or the teens, but please remember those less fortunate than us and make his, or her Christmas a little brighter too. Donating to Toys for Tots, or a local Salvation Army is a great way to spread that Christmas joy to as many people as possible.

The Internet has become the sexual predator’s playground. Teenage internet safety is in the news every day. Pre-teens and teens frequently post information and/or photos of themselves without believing that their online activities are putting them in danger. The "new friend" that they think they're making in a social networking site may very well be a convicted child molester.

Child pornography and exploitation is a 20 billion dollar business, and there is no end in sight. Every day, somewhere, a child is being victimized online. There are as many as 400,000 prostituted children in the U.S, according to Mia Spanganberg’s 2001 report: Prostitution In New York City, An Overview. The unofficial estimate however is 1.5 million American children illegally trafficked each year, according to director, Carol Smolenski, of ECPAT (End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography and Trafficking). The first thing to know is that sexual predators continually troll the Internet looking for child targets. They browse personal profiles that children -- typically 12- to 15-year-olds, post on social networking sites, such as MySpace.com, or instant message services. Perpetrators anonymously lurk in the background of chat rooms. Sometimes they’ll collect information on a particular child before trying to make contact. Other times, if the child’s remarks seem inviting, provocative, or -- if the child seems lonely and looking for friends -- they’ll make an immediate contact.

The easiest targets are those kids who can be conned into keeping secrets. Children should be warned if they meet anyone online who asks them to keep a secret, they should report it to you immediately. Sexual predators search for kids who post personal online profiles and are particularly drawn to those youngsters who submit photographs of themselves, offer a physical description and include their name, age, sex, and location. They look for victims who have regular and private access to a computer and are consistently online for long periods of time.
They like those who have few activities or lack a strong network of friends. They seek out the vulnerable and those who are willing to keep talking. Vulnerability comes in many forms: a child or teen who is sheltered, insecure, unhappy, lonely, or adventurous is a good target. Predators also like those who come from single parent families, are having difficulty in school, with friends, or with the law or are experimenting with drugs, alcohol, or sex.

Today, many young people have their own instant message accounts. This is also attractive to predators. Although some of them use email, they prefer instant messages because once the instant message window is closed the message seems to disappear. Law enforcement estimates that the typical online sexual predator has victimized anywhere from 30 to 150 kids prior to being arrested.

Predators often pose as children or teenagers. The predator uses the relationship to initiate sexual discussion and activity. One of their main activities is coaxing the victim to take provocative or lewd videos or photos of themselves. Sometimes these photos are copied and sold to child pornographers or end up on pedophile websites.

The Internet pornography industry generates $12 billion dollars in annual revenue – larger than the combined annual revenues of ABC, NBC, and CBS, according to Family Safe Media, January 10, 2006.

Law enforcement officials estimate that as many as 50,000 sexual predators are online at any given moment.
(Dateline, January 2006)

Predators need children who will be open to sexual discussions and not terminate the relationship at the first suggestion of sexual activity. They will expose the child to sexual images in an effort to break down their barriers and portray the viewing of sexual photos and deviant sexual activities as “normal” – the desensitization stage.

If the predator has groomed the target well, he or she will put up with this uncomfortable conversation and the viewing of sexual images so as not to lose their new friend. On occasion a child may get frightened and want to end the relationship. The predator may threaten to expose them to parents or friends. The final goal is to lure the child into a secret, face-to-face meeting – sometimes including a plan to run away from home. The predator’s objective is to have sex with his victim, or more tragically, to abduct and engage in sexual slavery and/or murder.

To book Suzanne Stanford to speak on internet safety, email her at: suzanne@myinternetsafetycoach.com

Are We Glorifying Teen Pregnancy?
We heard about Jamie Lynn Spears and gasped in shock, as we bid adieu to "Zoey 101." We saw the headlines for the new NBC reality show "Baby Borrowers" and wondered who the heck would allow a snot nosed teenager to borrow their baby. We caught wind of some odd teen pregnancy pact and rolled our eyes in disgust. Then, we spotted a new show on ABC called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and asked ourselves, "Secret? What secret?"

I know that this topic is nothing new, but don't you agree that all of this media coverage is just callousing our generation of teens to the the possibility of getting pregnant? Yes, some of the new shows are designed to teach teens of the dangers of unprotected sex, but isn't all of the exposure to teen pregnancy just making it a commonplace societal norm? See Jamie Lynn? Uh....no. Doesn't OK magazine realize what an effing disservice they are doing to the whole teen population by allowing this teenager's "OOOOPSIE" to grace the cover of a magazine, painted as a normal, beautiful new mommy moment? Yes, motherhood is beautiful. Yes, the baby and Ms. Spears are beautiful. Too beautiful. Many teenaged, affection starved, disenchanted girls will look at that picturesque portrayal of premature motherhood and fantasize about it, themselves. I've heard tales of parents who shipped their pregnant daughter off to live with distant relatives, out of the sheer fear that she would be looked upon as a whore. My own mother was livid when she found out that I was pregnant out of wedlock. I was shamed by my traditional Baptist family. Did they encourage me to abort my baby? Did the enable me to continue my life as a carefree teenager, by raising the baby? Heck no! Happy fun time ended when I conceived. Maybe if more parents treated teen pregnancy and premarital sex as the huge mistake it is, there would be less of it. The media might even loosen its capitalistic grip on the issue and stop turning out shows that make it seem like a normal rite of passage and an event worthy of a magazine cover.

Q: We are having a big problem at our house over the use of the phone. It rings constantly, we never get to see our daughter and she would talk all night if we let her. Help!!
A. Using the phone seems to be a rite of passage for many teen-agers. The bad news is that telephone use is an area ripe for power struggles.

Over the years, I have seen families get into simply horrendous battles over this relatively simple issue.
Except in the most extreme circumstances, don't completely cut your teen-ager off from the phone for more than a day. For adults, the phone may be an intrusion, but for teens it may be an outlet, even their lifeline to friends.

Some frustrated parents actually take all the phones from the house when they leave for work and lock them in the car trunk, hooking them back up when they return home.
What has happened here is that the parents have confused controlling an adolescent with managing an adolescent. As I've said before, trying to control a teen-ager is like trying to put pants on a gorilla.

Kids and Teens and the Phone: Six Criteria for Addressing the Problem
The difference between trying to control vs. manage a teen-ager is all in how you approach the situation.
A management approach meets the following six criteria:
1. The parents are clearly in charge
2. The teen, over time, learns and earns the ability to be more and more in charge of herself
3. There is a clear map for continually building trust and responsibility
4. The parents have a way to monitor the progress of the teen
5. There are clear consequences when the teen demonstrates that she cannot be in charge of herself (just as in the real world)
6. There is a clear map for how to earn back trust and responsibility.

The 6 criteria applied
Applying the six criteria to the issue of the phone, here are a couple of ideas you can try.
One is to start the teen out with a certain amount of phone time each day, say, 15 minutes. If they are able to honor that amount of time, say, for three months, they earn an additional five minutes of time, and so on.

You can change them to fit your own situation.)

Is Taking Action Part of the Law of Attraction Formula?
There has been so much feedback about the movie "The Secret" implying that you can wish your way into having something you want without taking action. For me, the message of taking action is clear throughout the entire movie. This is an important distinction to understand, especially when sharing the Law of Attraction with our kids and teens.

Most high-profile spiritual leaders (Dr. Joe Vitale, T. Harv Eker, Dr. John DeMartini, Mike Dooley, for instance) will tell you that you cannot expect to achieve your goals if you are unwilling to take action. If you want to start a business, for instance, you have to take the necessary steps.

The Law of Attraction does not mean that you simply picture something in your mind and you will create it. Perhaps that happens for some and if you know anyone who has reached that level of spiritual enlightenment, I"d love to interview them. I know these beings exist! But for the rest of us, we need to take the appropriate actions in the direction of our dreams.

You Don"t Have to Figure Out the "How"
The Universe will figure out the rest. Follow your guidance. Mediate every day so you can get in touch with your Source. If your teenager is starting an Internet business, for instance, she would need to decide what the product or service is going to be, do some research, get the hosting set up, choose a domain name, get the website designed and then market the website. However, like any entrepreneur, she will not have everything figured out. Perhaps she has no idea where she is going to get the money to hire a website designer. What is her ultimate goal?

• Make enough money to buy a new car
• Travel throughout Europe this summer
• Start investing in stocks and live a luxurious lifestyle
• Buy my parents a nice gift for their anniversary
• Travel to Africa with youth group to feed hungry children

Help your child or teen identify his or her End Result, take the appropriate actions and not worry about how it's all going to come together. Let the Universe work its magic!
Say your son wants to get into a certain college but his grades are low. Should he just close his eyes and visualize better grades? Yes, it will be most helpful for him to visualize, but there are also other logical, appropriate actions he needs to take. Or perhaps your three-year old wants a new "talking" doll. If you wanted to take this opportunity to teach her how to attract what she wants, you could say something like this: "What actions can we take to get the new doll? You could practice picturing what you want in your mind and then you could take some actions too. You could save up money in your piggy bank or ask Grandma to buy it for your birthday. If I think back on how certain things have happened for me, I could not have orchestrated it better if I tried. Let's fact it. The point is for us to check with Spirit and ask "What's next? What actions should I take?" Teach your children how to check in with spirit.

What's the Best Way to Teach Kids The Law of Attraction?
If you want to share The Law of Attraction with your children, make your own spiritual growth your first priority. In fact, that is the most precious gift you can give to your children: a parent who is nurturing his or her own spirit.

Kids and Teens - Four Ways to Show Your Kid Respect
1) In teaching 2-3-4 year old kids, parents are very discipline in teaching their toddlers to say "thank you" and "please". It is an important lesson to be taught and an important lesson to be learned. However, that all seems to drop somewhere in grade school. Parents are saying "do it because I am your parent and I say so" - not many say "will you please do this for me?" The "thank you" seems to disappear as well. So...parents...throw your kids a curve by saying "thank you" and "please" when they deserve it...it may confuse them and wouldn't that be fun? Being nice to each other in a family is just another way of showing respect.
2) Most kids love to talk and they love to have someone listen to them. Never ask your kid "how was your day today?" They will always say "fine"...particularly Tweens (ages 8-12). Try your best NOT to "dish" out punishment at the dinner table. Any punishment connected with food and dining together may bring negative responses in the future for your kids.
The family dining table experiences should be fun, warm and loving. It is a sign of respect.
3) When you have to discipline your kid they want to know and understand what they are doing wrong that caused them to be punished. Most kids have short-term memory and most of the times do not even remember what they did to get your negative reaction because at that point it is usually all emotional. A yelling match and a spanking on the bottom without a "lesson to be learned" is nothing more than abuse. The kids think it is the parent's responsibility to explain to the kid why they are being disciplined. I'm not stupid I am sure the kids will argue that your explanation is stupid and they should not have been punished. However, if you ask the kids (when they are calm and detached from punishment) they will also tell you they want to know why their parents react the way they did by punishing them. Kids said they don't mind being disciplined as long as they know the "why". It just shows respect.
4) We talk to our friends and relatives about our kids. Show your kids respect by NOT talking about them when they can hear you talking about them; this incudes conversations over the telephone. Kids have big ears when they want to have big ears. It feels to a kid like it feels to an adult: when we hear other people talking behind our backs about us, it does not feel good.
We need to talk to other adults about our kids to our family and friends because it helps. However, make sure your kids are out of "ear-shot". Show a little respect.