By Jason McConnell
Our language is ever-changing, yet there are some words that should never have come into existence. Bullycide is certainly one of them. It's bad enough that our culture has made bullying ok and brushes it off as a "right of passage" or "just something that kids go through". In fact, according to a study done in 2007, approximately 13% of staff agreed that "bullying is just a part of life that everyone has to go through" (Bradshaw et al., 2007)... and now we have a new word to describe bullying a child to the point of suicide.
According to another study, the top reasons why many teachers ignore bullying include (Newman-Carlson & Horne, 2004):
The belief that they lack adequate skills or training to intervene
They fear intervening will only add fuel to the fire
They fear that the problem will go "underground"
This same study found that the Department of Justice and National Association of School Psychologists estimate that about 160,000 kids miss school every day because of fear, and bullying is often the main cause of that fear (Newman-Carlson & Horne, 2004). This is the same fear that, over time, can cause serious psychological damage both short- and long-term including anxiety, loneliness, poor academic performance, depression, poor self-esteem and even suicide ideation (Margie, 2007). There are harmful effects on the bully as well that lead to delinquency and criminality.
I guess the bottom line is simple... ignoring acts of bullying hurt everyone: the school, victim or target, parents, even the bully. This is not a problem we can ignore and hope it goes away. Bullies and victims have profiles that have been found through research and observation; we can help the school systems intervene and prevent bullying the right way. Beat The Bully is designed to help children, parents, educators, and even bullies. We want our kids to know that they have options and that help is available if they can't handle the problem themselves, we want them to feel safe and to enjoy their childhood.
So where do it start? At home! Spend just 15 minutes with your kids just listening to them. Set up a special time where you and your children sit and talk one-on-one. If you start listening to the small stuff, they will tell you about the big stuff. Know your child's habits and watch for any changes that might indicate there is a problem outside of the house. What they may not be able or willing to tell you in words, they will tell you non-verbally. The most important piece of advice is to NEVER be your child's friend, always be a parent first and they will see you as an authority (even if they don't like some of your decisions) which will give them confidence that YOU can solve their problems.
Imagine how horrible it would feel to lose a child because of bullying or hazing that might be going on at school. Teach your children that it's NOT okay to hurt others for sport or initiations. Teach your children to identify bullying and report it. Teach your children to be strong, and we will have far fewer tragedies in the news.
Sources:
Bradshaw, C. P., Sawyer, A. L., & OBrennan, L.,M. (2007). Bullying and peer victimization at school: Perceptual differences between students and school staff.School Psychology Review, 36(3), 361-382.
Margie, N. R. G. (2007). Bullying and exclusion in intergroup contexts: The relation between social reasoning, social information processing, and personal experience. University of Maryland, College Park). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, , n/a.
Newman-Carlson, D., & Horne, A. M. (2004). Bully busters: A psychoeducational intervention for reducing bullying behavior in middle school students.Journal of Counseling and Development: JCD, 82(3), 259-267.
With nearly two decades of experience, and a 4th Degree Black Belt, Master Jason T. McConnell is dedicated to minimizing bullying, hazing, and harassment in our schools. Log on to http://www.beatthebully.org/ to gain access to FREE information about bullying.
Our language is ever-changing, yet there are some words that should never have come into existence. Bullycide is certainly one of them. It's bad enough that our culture has made bullying ok and brushes it off as a "right of passage" or "just something that kids go through". In fact, according to a study done in 2007, approximately 13% of staff agreed that "bullying is just a part of life that everyone has to go through" (Bradshaw et al., 2007)... and now we have a new word to describe bullying a child to the point of suicide.
According to another study, the top reasons why many teachers ignore bullying include (Newman-Carlson & Horne, 2004):
The belief that they lack adequate skills or training to intervene
They fear intervening will only add fuel to the fire
They fear that the problem will go "underground"
This same study found that the Department of Justice and National Association of School Psychologists estimate that about 160,000 kids miss school every day because of fear, and bullying is often the main cause of that fear (Newman-Carlson & Horne, 2004). This is the same fear that, over time, can cause serious psychological damage both short- and long-term including anxiety, loneliness, poor academic performance, depression, poor self-esteem and even suicide ideation (Margie, 2007). There are harmful effects on the bully as well that lead to delinquency and criminality.
I guess the bottom line is simple... ignoring acts of bullying hurt everyone: the school, victim or target, parents, even the bully. This is not a problem we can ignore and hope it goes away. Bullies and victims have profiles that have been found through research and observation; we can help the school systems intervene and prevent bullying the right way. Beat The Bully is designed to help children, parents, educators, and even bullies. We want our kids to know that they have options and that help is available if they can't handle the problem themselves, we want them to feel safe and to enjoy their childhood.
So where do it start? At home! Spend just 15 minutes with your kids just listening to them. Set up a special time where you and your children sit and talk one-on-one. If you start listening to the small stuff, they will tell you about the big stuff. Know your child's habits and watch for any changes that might indicate there is a problem outside of the house. What they may not be able or willing to tell you in words, they will tell you non-verbally. The most important piece of advice is to NEVER be your child's friend, always be a parent first and they will see you as an authority (even if they don't like some of your decisions) which will give them confidence that YOU can solve their problems.
Imagine how horrible it would feel to lose a child because of bullying or hazing that might be going on at school. Teach your children that it's NOT okay to hurt others for sport or initiations. Teach your children to identify bullying and report it. Teach your children to be strong, and we will have far fewer tragedies in the news.
Sources:
Bradshaw, C. P., Sawyer, A. L., & OBrennan, L.,M. (2007). Bullying and peer victimization at school: Perceptual differences between students and school staff.School Psychology Review, 36(3), 361-382.
Margie, N. R. G. (2007). Bullying and exclusion in intergroup contexts: The relation between social reasoning, social information processing, and personal experience. University of Maryland, College Park). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, , n/a.
Newman-Carlson, D., & Horne, A. M. (2004). Bully busters: A psychoeducational intervention for reducing bullying behavior in middle school students.Journal of Counseling and Development: JCD, 82(3), 259-267.
With nearly two decades of experience, and a 4th Degree Black Belt, Master Jason T. McConnell is dedicated to minimizing bullying, hazing, and harassment in our schools. Log on to http://www.beatthebully.org/ to gain access to FREE information about bullying.
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