By GR Melnick

Not many students can get through a school day without either being bullied or seeing someone being bullied. With national odds at 60% of teens, witnessing bullying it's a good bet you are seeing your fair share.

Bullying comes in three major forms, physical, psychological, and cyber. We will deal with the cyber bully in another section.

Boys have a tendency to physical bully doing things like shoving, tripping, or punching. For the girl bullies the weapons of choice are things like malicious gossip, taunting or teasing.

Bullies targets of choice are most often the student who is thought of as being different. It might be because of appearance, social position, looks, race or religion. The easiest targets for bullies are the students who don't belong to a popular group. Bullies are not brave, not really so they choose those they consider the most vulnerable, the stragglers, much like a lion cutting a vulnerable zebra from the herd.

The stress of bullying can lead to physical trauma such as stomach pains, loss of appetite and migraine types of headaches. The mental stresses such as the feelings of shame, anxiety of waiting for the next attack, the feeling of being an outsider can lead to sadness and even suicide.

If you are doing the bullying or are part of a group doing bullying stop and give what you are doing some thought? For the person you are picking on life could be intolerable. How do you know whether you are a bully?

Do you pick on kids smaller than you?
Do you enjoy teasing people?
Do you laugh at others mistakes but get mad if they laugh at yours?
Do you blame others for anything that goes wrong in your life?
Do you want to seem tough or a leader?
Do you feel you always have to be right?
Do you feel you always have to be a success at whatever you do?
Do you get angry when someone else does something better than you?

If you answer yes to more than two of these questions, it is possible you might well be a bully and not even be aware of it.

How would you feel if someone you bullied committed suicide and left a note saying you were the cause of the suicide? Picture yourself trying to explain your conduct to the victim's family, or to your family. Imagine what rumors will fly around the school, and around the neighborhood. You would have to live with this the rest of your life. When your actions cause the destruction of a life, being sorry does not count.

Now switch and let's say you are the victim of bullying. What can you do about it before it gets too out of hand? Mental health experts tell us that there are many reasons a person becomes a bully, but frankly you could care less if you are the person being bullied. Your only worry is how to end it.

So here are some things you can try to put an end to the problem:

1. Avoid being alone as much as possible. If you don't have some friends of your own make a real effort to make some. Chances are you are not the only one being picked on and the old saying that there is strength in numbers is true.

2. Don't for one minute believe you deserve being bullied. For whatever reason you might be different, you might not fit in, but someday you could well end being their boss. Feel good about yourself, even if you have to pretend at the start. You are the only person who can give the bully a win by blaming yourself for the treatment.

3. Walk away. Letting the bully get under your skin is a reward for him. Their ego is fed when you rise to their taunts. Is that something you really want to do? Bullies are like stray dogs, once you feed them they will keep coming back for more.

4. Don't get physical. If the bully thought for one minute that you were a physical threat you would not be picked on. So unless you have some sort of kung fu talent keep your cool.

5. Dealing with gossip. Sad but sure people love to gossip. Adults do it, kids do it, and seldom if ever does anyone think of the consequences to the person they are gossiping about. The only way to handle it is to find a few friends, explain how the gossip is hurting you and then set the record straight. Let them know you would not believe gossip about them and would defend them and you would hope they do the same for you.

6. Talk to a teacher or your parents. Ya I know this is a tough one. No teen likes having an adult fight their battles for them, but sometimes you have no choice. Look, their job is to give you the best start in life they can and defending you against bullying are part of that job. Tell them you have a problem, and you need advice on how to deal with it. By doing it this way, that is asking for advice on how to deal with it, you are not asking them to handle it for you. What they do with it from that point on is up to you. Consider the different choices open to you and then choose the one that works the best for you.

7. Off the wall ideas. These are ideas that are a bit different but worth at least thinking about.

Consider a personal alarm. This is a small hand held device about the same size as a car door opener. When pressed it puts out a very loud 130 db alarm. You can get them on the net for anywhere from $10 to $20. Keep it with you if you really feel you are in danger. It might also provide you a feeling of security.

Try negotiation. See whether the bully will tell you why you were chosen to be picked upon. Then ask what you could do to change the situation. Let the bully know that what is fun for him is pain for you. Sometimes bullies are just clueless about the effects of their actions. If you think the bully could be violent then choose a time to negotiate when someone is around who could protect you. Otherwise just make sure none of the bullies group are near at hand so there is no audience to play to.

Fantasize the future. Realize that there will be a time when you and the bully will go your different ways. Until that day think about some point in the future where you are the person in power and the bully is the one seeking your help. Even if it never happens it is still fun to think about that time. It's sort of like buying a one dollar lottery tick and then thinking about how you would spend the millions you will win.

G. R. Melnick is the author of the book I Am Worth Knowing, a guide on how to make friends for those who are shy. In addition a web site at http://www.iamworthknowing.com with tips and advice for teens who want to live life on their terms.

By Patrick Esposito

The unemployment problem in this country is a harbinger for our next president to give serious consideration to. There are many people who at one time have had a well-paying job, and held a respectful place in their community. Today those people are driving cabs or working at a fast food joint just to help pay the bills. Sometimes people take it for granted that kids need to make money too. When kids have money, they spend it and help our economy. Kids need to make money, but how can a kid make money when many adults are unemployed? Has the job market retracted for kids the same way it has for adults? When the powers that be talk about creating jobs, kids don't get mentioned, but how can a kid make money?

Many kids are ambitious, motivated, and have lots of energy. Kids are fun to work with and many want to learn and have responsibility. How can a kid make money though if the jobs are not available? Another trait that kids have is that they are resilient, and they are not afraid to do the jobs that some adults may be reluctant to do. Today's kids are tomorrow's workforce, and when kids work it helps build character, confidence, and independence. Since there is a minimum age to be able to start working on the books, the question again rings loud "How can a kid make money?

It would certainly seem that kids are entrepreneurial by nature. Whenever we see a lemonade stand, we intuitively know that there is a young person behind this money making venture. Kids don't need to make top dollar to pay the bills, so they are open to opportunities that adults will shun. Kids will help clean the house, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, and clean the garage. So when we ask the question "How can a kid make money?" we don't have to look far for answers. A kid can deliver newspapers, run errands, wash cars, and walk the dog. Some adults may even feel a little envious realizing how many opportunities that there are for kids.

Kids are usually not shy about offering their services to someone. Once a kid is old enough, they want to babysit, especially girls. The boys may offer to do some painting. While the jobs or opportunities are not always readily apparent, the kids with the desire, fortitude, and insight will find their rainbow that will hold their pot of gold. How can a kid make money? It is a good question to ask kids and see their imagination go to work. They may surprise you and come up with something you may not have thought of. How many times do you wish you could find someone to pull weeds, or wash the car? Girl Scout cookies have not become one of the biggest selling cookies in the world for nothing. With a ready, willing, and ready workforce in place, our country is headed in the right direction.

Pat Esposito has been involved in real estate since 1982 years as an investor, trainer, and consultant. He is the author of The Best Investment You Can Make, and The Informed Real Estate Investor and is the founder of http://www.Abundantlife1.com Check out this website. It has lots of information for those who want to have an abundant life.

By Mishael Witty

It's hard to be a teenager, and it's even harder to be a Christian teenager. Every day, Christians are bombarded with messages from their peers and the world around them, telling them they have to act a certain way and do certain things in order to be accepted. Unfortunately, many of these things teens are told they "must" do go directly against God's will for their lives.

The Christian teen must spend time in regular Bible study and prayer. This is the only way he/she will mature to be the man/woman God wants him/her to be. What does God desire for His people? That they be holy as He is holy (see Leviticus 11:44, 19:20, 20:7; 1 Peter 1:16). "Holy," in this case, means set apart or consecrated. The Christian must set him/herself apart from the rest of the world in order to become more like Christ. That is the goal for every Christian (see Ephesians 4:15, 22-24).

The Bible truly has answers for people in all stages and from all walks of life. It speaks both directly and indirectly to many of the issues teens face on a daily basis. Here are just a few verses that will guide any teen to some much-needed answers and a closer walk with the Lord.

    Peer Pressure. Simply defined, this is the influence a teen's so-called friends have over him/her to change his/her beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors to fit in with the norm. It should not be difficult to see that these influences will be doubly harmful for the Christian teen who does not want to isolate him/herself from the rest of the world. What does the Bible say about peer pressure? Basically, don't worry about it. Look at what Paul says in Galatians 1:10. The key to remember here is that Christian teens should value God and what He says more than they value what their peers say about them. Easier said than done, right? But no one ever said the Christian life was easy!

    Dating. The Christian teen is called to a higher standard of purity and holiness than his/her non-believing peers. The Bible advises Christians to only date other Christians (see 2 Corinthians 6:14). There is a very good reason for this. While it is true that a believer can influence his/her non-believing friends for the better, it is more often the case that the believer will get dragged back down into ungodly living. God created sex, but He created it to be between one man and one woman who stayed with each other for their entire lives. So many times, teen relationships do not last more than a few years, if that long. Most people do not marry their high school sweetheart. Throw sex into the mix, and Christian teens are setting themselves up for any number of physical, emotional, and spiritual difficulties (see 1 Corinthians 6:18-19

    Relationships with Parents. The Bible commands children to behave in a certain way toward their parents. Most Christian teens are familiar with the verse, "Honor your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12, ASV), but how many realize that that particular command is followed by a promise? "...that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." This promise is repeated in both the Old and New Testaments. The teen years are often a time of rebellion as the teenager seeks to find his/her own identity in the world. This can be a tough process, and parents can certainly be trying at times because they want their teens to stay little and completely dependent on them for just a little while longer. It's hard to give up control, and it's even harder to wrestle control from someone who doesn't want to give it. The key here is to remember that God has given parents the role as guardians over their children, and because of this, they deserve the respect of their children. Christian teens who seek to honor God need to remember that, even though they may not agree with everything their parents are saying and/or doing, they still need to respect their parents. And, by doing that, they will improve-and even lengthen--their own lives.

    Planning for the Future. For many teens, this may be the first time they have ever seriously considered what they will be "when they grow up." The Christian teen, of course, will be largely concerned with what is God's will for his/her life. God may not always give immediate straight answers regarding the right career path and/or life partner, etc. But the Christian believer can be sure of one thing-God does have a plan, and he will never leave his children to fend for themselves. There are many verses that speak to this fact. These include: Psalm 48:14; Proverbs 3:5-6; Isaiah 58:11; and Jeremiah 29:11.

The Bible has so much more to say to teens on many other issues. There are several teen study bibles on the market now that are easy to read, and they include many helpful insights into how teens can walk the authentic Christian walk. God is the ultimate source of all knowledge, and Christian teens would do well to seek Him in everything.

Mishael Austin Witty is a freelance writer and editor and mother of two. Her interests are many, and she writes about most of them. To see more, visit her HubPages and Squidoo profile pages.

http://workingmomwm.hubpages.com/

http://www.squidoo.com/lensmasters/workingmomwm

By Celia Hamilton

I know that seems like such a loaded title as there are so many variables to take into account such as the age of the child, what they want to learn, where they want to learn and so on. But you're reading this article to get a little insight so here goes.

On the subject of age a child is never too young to learn. Research shows that infants are formidable learning machines whose brain doubles in size from birth to 5 years. They don't need books or the internet to learn, they just do it naturally. Take talking for example, they learn this effortlessly, and if exposed to many languages while small, a child can learn many with ease, all without the internet or books.

Another consideration is what you want them to learn. For example if you would like your children to learn to love nature and respect our environment you can teach them by example. If they see that you never litter, you treat animals kindly, you support wildlife programs and so forth they will follow. Conversely if you don't care about things like that, they can also learn to have an uncaring attitude all without the internet or books.

What about kids learning school subjects like Maths, English, Science or History? Which medium would be more helpful, books or the internet?

Well, both have their place.

Nowadays in many schools computers are replacing books and the keyboard is replacing handwriting. In some schools teaching handwriting is optional sometimes replaced by typing instead. This familiarity with the digital world means it would be easy for kids to learn via the internet at school or at home. On the internet you can find a multitude of programs designed to help your child be successful in most school subjects. They often include an online tutor that can give your child one on one help. Your child can submit assignments online and get valuable feedback to help them improve.

What about learning to read, which is the basis for all school subjects? I personally am a great believer in spending time reading books with small children, they can learn to read, learn about stuff they are interested in - like dinosaurs or insects- and at the same time you can strengthen your bond with them.

But let's face it just as handwriting may be soon become obsolete for our kids, ebooks are fast replacing paper books. Amazon, the largest bookseller in the world now sells more ebooks than paperbacks and hard cover combined.

So where does this leave us? With the latest ereaders of course. You can download heaps of books onto your child's ereader, and on some ereaders like the Kindle book reader you can even borrow books from your library. Your child will never run out of books to read, enjoy and learn from, or books for you to read to them.

The movement towards all things digital is obvious and unstoppable. With ereaders both books and the internet can combine to give our kids a head start in this digital world.

Visit us soon at http://www.enjoypress.com to find out heaps more about the Kindle book reader and where to buy Kindle. While you're there check out The Greener Choice Infographic that explains why ebooks are better for the environment than paper books.

By Celia Hamilton

An absolutely awesome gift for teenagers is the Amazon Kindle. Why do I say this? Well what medium do our gorgeous tech -savvy teens use these days for just about everything? That's right they live in the twitch -speed digital world with everything at their fingertips.

They use all forms of electronic medium to play games, interact with friends, listen to music, watch movies and with a gift of an Amazon Kindle eReader they can now read books.

I think it's great that even though today's teens have been exposed to all things digital from infancy many still love reading. I just checked out Amazon today and they had thousands of titles under "books for teens". All the Kindle eBooks are way cheaper than paperback versions, with prices starting from 99 cents, and if you're a member of Amazon Prime many eBooks are free.

Two years ago I had my nephew from New Zealand staying with me. He is a total bookworm. He's in his early teens and his main genre was killer zombie/vampire/bad alien type books and man could he chew through them. I was run ragged between my local bookshop, library and second hand book store trying to keep up book supplies, I'm not kidding.

What would a book loving teen do with a Kindle? Well, all they need to do is browse Amazon books for a book they want, buy it online and download it onto their Kindle in seconds. I was buying my nephew paperbacks at $20.00 a book minimum, he could now get about four Kindle books for the same price.

There are 7 Kindles to choose from, the Kindle, the Kindle Touch Wi-Fi, Kindle Touch 3G, Kindle Keyboard Wi-Fi, Kindle Keyboard 3G, Kindle DX and the all new Kindle Fire. Thinking about a teenager they would probably like the Kindle Touch 3G or the Kindle Fire. Both devices have only been on the market for about 3 months and cost $149 and $199 respectively.

With the Kindle Touch 3G they would have access to millions of book, newspapers, magazines, games and docs. With the Kindle Fire a teen would have all the above, plus movies, TV shows, music, internet browsing and more, so even if books aren't a high priority for the young person in question, they have a cool compact tablet to play with. The incredibly sleek Kindle Touch features an e-ink touch screen that reads like paper even outside in the sun, something that other medium like an iPad cannot replicate, while the Fire features a full color 7" multi-touch display.

Usability of the Kindle devices for teenagers is child's play as most of them seem to have an innate ability to use any digital device with ease.

So please visit us to find out more about where to buy kindle and why I'm nominating the kindle book reader as a great gift idea for a teenager.

Please visit us soon at http://www.enjoypress.com to find out not only where to buy kindle but also why I'm nominating the Kindle reader as a great gift for yourself, family and friends.

By Colby M Pearce

In my practice one of the more common presenting problems is severe tantrums, or meltdowns, in children. Common reactions among adults who care for these children include frustration, embarrassment, desperation and helplessness. Typically, these otherwise competent parents have tried a range of strategies without finding a strategy or strategies that consistently work. They invariably pose one simple question: what do we do when our child is having a severe tantrum or meltdown? What they really want to know is, what works?

The first answer I provide is that there is no known universally effective strategy for managing severe tantrums and meltdowns. If there was, someone would have written about it by now and made a lot of money! The second answer I offer is that effective management of children's severe tantrums and meltdowns begins with developing an understanding of what is actually going on in the nervous system of a child prior to, and in the midst of, a severe tantrum or meltdown.

The most common belief that exists in the community about severe tantrums and meltdowns is that they are a behaviour management problem. In fact, they are an arousal management problem. Understanding this is the key to effective management of meltdowns and severe tantrums.

By arousal, I mean the level of activity in the child's nervous system. Arousal goes up and down during the day. Arousal generally is lowest when the child is asleep and highest when the child is in a state of high emotion. Arousal is regulated by the brain, though it is influenced by what the child is doing and what is happening in the child's environment. In ordinary circumstances, arousal is thought to go up and down within a regular range, which varies from child to child. Each child's range of arousal is affected by genetic factors (e.g. temperament), early exposure to stress, ongoing maintaining factors (i.e. stressors), and the interaction of these. The temperament infants are born with is involved, as so-called "easy babies" seemingly maintain lower levels of arousal, whereas so-called "slow-to-warm-up" and "difficult" babies maintain higher levels of arousal.

Early stressors include pregnancy and birth complications, early illness, neglect and maltreatment. Early stressors are thought to impact on the structure of the developing brain, particularly those structures that are responsible for the control, or regulation, of arousal[i]. Frequent exposure to stress and prolonged distress, particularly during the first year of life, is thought to result in significant development of the parts of the brain that are associated with high arousal and emotional distress. The result of this is that the central nervous system (i.e. the brain) becomes hard-wired to be highly reactive to sensory stimulation (i.e. sights, sounds, touch, taste, smell) and perceived threats, and vulnerable to maintaining higher levels of arousal. Maintaining factors include stressors associated with higher arousal, including bullying and harassment, learning difficulties and traumatic family circumstances. Maintaining factors also include strength factors that support lower arousal, such as the presence of loving and supportive relationships.

A conventional term for children whose arousal fluctuates in the higher range is that they are "highly strung". Conversely, a conventional term for children whose arousal fluctuates in the lower range is that they are "laid back". Highly strung children are on-the-go, intense, and make mountains out of molehills. Laid back children are comparatively relaxed, calm, unflappable and resilient. It seems to take relatively more stimulation and adversity for laid back children to experience stress. In contrast, highly strung children are more prone to stress, and its associated negative consequences, than laid back children.

Severe tantrums and meltdowns occur when a child's arousal level approaches and exceeds the so-called stress threshold referred to in the above diagram. Brain imaging studies show that when an individual is under stress, or when an individual is exposed to sensory stimulation associated with past traumatic events, there is significant activation of sub-cortical (i.e. inner) regions of the brain and reduced blood flow to areas of the frontal cortex[ii]'[iii](i.e. outer, frontal regions of the brain). The areas of frontal cortex of the brain that experience reduced blood flow are thought to be those that are responsible for logical, rational thinking, planning and responding, and speech. The sub-cortical regions of the brain are responsible for instinctive responses and those that are essential to the survival of the organism, such as emotion, respiration, arousal and the fight-flight-freeze response.

Many behaviours exhibited by children during a severe tantrum or meltdown are associated with a reduced capacity for logical thinking and partial or full activation of the fight-flight-freeze response. These include controlling, aggressive, destructive, hyperactive and unreasonable behaviour. These behaviours are only partly volitional or totally non-volitional, depending on the child's level of distress. The way in which parents (and other caregivers; e.g. teachers and childcare workers) respond to these behaviours either escalates (disciplinary response) or de-escalates (calming response) these behaviours.

So, when a child is having a severe tantrum or meltdown they require interventions that lower their arousal levels. It is only when we do so that the child will begin to behave in a more reasonable manner. I will present strategies for intervening to lower arousal and maintain lower arousal levels more generally in Taming Tantrums; Managing Meltdowns - Part Two.

(Note: much of the material presented in this article can is sourced from my various publications, including my two books: A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder and A Short Introduction to Promoting Resilience in Children.)

(Dislaimer: While it is anticipated that this article will prove to be informative for those who care for children, it is not a substitute for a full assessment and face-to-face support and guidance from an appropriately trained and experienced child development and mental health clinician. If your child is exhibiting severe and recurrent tantrums and meltdowns you should seek further advice about treatment options from your family medical practitioner).

[i]Perry, B.D., Pollard, R.A., Blakley, T.L., Baker, W.L., & Vigilante, D. (1995). Childhood trauma, the

neurobiology of adaptation, and "use-dependent" development of the brain: How "states" Become

"traits", Infant Mental Health Journal, 16(4), 271-289

[ii]Damasio, A.R., Grabowski, T.J., Bechara, A., et al. (2000). Subcortical and cortical brain activity during the

feeling of self-generated emotions. Nature Neuroscience, 3, 1049-1056

[iii]Van Der Kolk, B. (2006). Clinical implications of neuroscience research in PTSD. Annals of the New York

Academy of Sciences, 1-17

Colby is a clinical psychologist with seventeen years experience working in clinical and forensic arenas, including child protection, juvenile offending and family law; the last nine years in his independent practice, Secure Start. Colby has extensive experience conducting assessments, preparing reports and appearing as an expert witness in South Australian and Commonwealth Courts. Colby has also established and directed student training clinics in child protection. Colby is the principal psychologist at Secure Start, a private psychology practice specialising in the provision of child and family psychotherapy services; particularly among children who have experienced complex developmental trauma. Colby is the author of eight journal articles and two internationally-published books; A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder and A Short Introduction to Promoting Resilience in Children. Colby can be contacted at colby@securestart.com.au. Visit Colby's website: http://www.securestart.com.au or Blogsite: http://colbypearce.wordpress.com

By Shaun A Maxwell

Sadly, it appears that cyber bullying isn't going to stop anytime soon. In fact, it gets worse every day. Throughout history we've always had bullies and you probably experienced at least one schoolyard bully yourself. But cyber bullying is different. Cyber bullying is much more harmful. And if your child uses the Internet, there's a good chance he could become a victim.

What is cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying is harassment on a scale much larger than the playground or school cafeteria. It takes place on the Internet, using sites like Facebook and MySpace or chat rooms associated with gaming sites. Bullies also use text messaging to broadcast messages to all their contacts. As you can imagine, with all the options we have for instant, worldwide communication these days, a bully's sphere of influence extends well beyond the edges of the playground.

What makes cyber bullying so prevalent is the fact that the bully can operate anonymously and cast a wider net. Not only does he bully your child, but he drags other bullies into the fray. And because he's hiding behind a computer screen, with other bullies backing him up, he feels even more empowered to terrorize your child. And it might surprise you to know that by the time they hit middle school, girls are the biggest offenders.

What can you do?

Almost 95% of all children between the ages of 12 and 17 use the Internet on a daily basis. Sometimes for hours at a time. In a recent survey, more than 20% of these teens reported they'd experienced some type of cyber bullying, and those numbers are increasing.

The effects of this type of harassment are similar to the feelings you had when you were in school - anger and humiliation - but there's one big difference. Because of the Internet, today's bully can be much more vicious. They can send your child's picture all over the world, with devastating results. The news is filled with young people who have committed suicide because they were victims of cyber bullies.

The most important thing for you to do is be aware. Pay attention to your child's behavior. If he typically spends every afternoon chatting online and he suddenly stops, there may be something wrong. If he's avoiding text messages or you notice emotional changes, show your support and find out what's wrong.

Make sure your child understands how important it is that he keep his personal information off the Internet. Including his pictures. Once something is posted online it never disappears and it's out there for everyone in the world to see.

The best thing your child can do is ignore cyber bullying. Just like that schoolyard bully who bothered you, today's bullies are also looking for attention. Unfortunately, if your child responds to their harassment online that just invites millions of others to join in the fray.

By Tricia L Sharp

Most kids start out playing with their house league hockey teams and practising with their team. That is a great way to start but if the young player wants to hone their skills, it will take more ice time, out of league schooling and off ice training.

The best way is to start with a speed skating clinic. Build up your legs with strength and power. The best way to beat the opponent is by pure speed so building up your stamina is a must. The best defenseman in the NHL are the ones who can out skate their opponents and get back to help protect their goal and help their goalie.

The next thing to work on is your stick handling skills. This is a great item to work on when you don't have access to ice time. You can work on this as off ice training. Put targets on your road hockey net and keep practising until you become a pro at hitting the targets. Once you have accomplished this you can put it into practise on the ice by imagining where the targets would be on the net and aim for them and get past the goalie.

Then start by using a puck or ball for road hockey using the triangle method. Use your stick to handle the ball or puck to the top of the triangle then down to the left and across to the right. Repeat this so that you can do it without missing the puck or ball at all and can do it without looking at the puck or ball. This will make you very confident at your puck handling skills so that when you are on the ice during a game you will be able to stick handle around your opponent and head for the net.

"HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES"

Isn't that what every player wants to hear. At least that's what we all dream about.

Work at these basic skills and improve your game.

If you want to take your game to the next level yet, you should look into hockey schools. There are a lot of great hockey schools available. It just depends what you are looking for. There are spring break hockey schools, christmas break hockey schools and summer hockey schools.

There are hockey schools that are day camps and some that are in-residence camps which include room and board.

The camps most often include on ice instruction, game play and off ice training as well. If you attend an intense in residence hockey camp, my suggestion is that you enroll for at least 2 weeks. The first week you are building up your stamina and your body is adjusting to the new training routine. The second week is when you are honing your skills to the best of your potential. This is when you get the best bang for your buck.

When you return to your team you will see for yourself just how much you have learned and how much you game has improved.

If you would like to more information on hockey schools or off ice training aids please visit http://www.greathockeygear.com.

Tricia Sharp
http://www.greathockeygear.com

By Dan Blair

Abuse occurs whenever anyone dominates, exploits or injures another. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. It is a potent means which makes another feel demeaned, worthless, and hopeless. Survivors often feel to blame and can struggle for a lifetime. The effects of abuse include confused thinking, disrupted memory, regressive behavior, and inability to relate to others. Abuse could lead to chronic depression, anxiety, panic, anger, cutting or self-abuse, with lifetime social and sexual repercussions along with other disorders. Abuse is also linked to chronic addiction and medical issues.

When sexual activity or suggestion is involved, it is extremely harmful, particularly when it involves a trusted relationship. Sexual abuse involves inappropriate or obsessive questions, or controlling behavior, with or without actual physical contact. When confronted, perpetrators may try to explain away their actions. The process of "grooming" by a perpetrator gradually desensitizes a child to sexual misconduct, while offering some sort of incentive to the child that the child and maybe even the parents notice and appreciate without realizing it. During this process the perpetrator tests whether the child will make a complaint. At this point, complaints may not be identified as abuse because they do not meet a definition of sexual misconduct. Many kids won't tell but will try to avoid perpetrator. Meanwhile academic work may take a downturn, or parents may see a withdrawal from friends and activities along with increased irritability.

The following describes what an abused child may be feeling both as a child and as an adult:

Do You Know What It's Like?

This is me... for real:

I have trouble going to sleep

I get anxious in the evening

Most days - waking up overwhelms me

I want to help my children become healthy, real, safe adults

I rarely feel real and safe

I love being active, exercising, sports

I have become increasingly stressed about my body size/type - which is not like me

I am rather obsessive about normal bodily functions

I am easily drawn to do things hurtful to my body (or destructive)

If I feel body sensations - hunger, being full, needing to go to the bathroom, cold, hot, sexual attraction or sensations, loving feelings, anger, sadness, hyper-ness, shallow breathing, rapid heartbeat, sweaty, wet, tired or sick - I feel very stressed and a great deal of anger or anxiety wells up in me.

When I think someone expects or wants something from me, I detach from my body

When I get angry, especially at a person, I feel like I should be dead

I think about other people dying every day

I think about my own death several times a day

I sometimes feel like my hair and scars are moving or "calling" me to "hurt" them

I like the feeling of barely breathing, especially in sexual involvement - like being under the weight of a man

I am drawn to rough sex, "forbidden" sex, force, pain and extreme amounts of orgasms

I have a knee jerk like response to stress - causing me to desire or feel blunt pressure in my [private parts]

When someone hugs me I think of sex (almost always, but not always - thankfully)

I feel like I am not human and I fear that people will notice

I am both in and out of my body when I'm with a group of people or especially something new or stressful

I love nature, I notice small details

I hate the feeling of clothes - but especially the getting dressed or undressed part

I hate the feeling of food in my stomach

I love how I feel when I haven't eaten in a long time (just a day, that's not THAT long)

I feel more real when I am curled up or on the floor

I can "hear" peoples' hearts

I want to be really cared for by my husband

I would probably do better in some ways not married

I think "nice" sex is gross and a lie

I need a safe and stable environment to help me stay sane

I feel like I'm moments away from insanity - more than I'd like

I'm afraid sometimes that I will split apart again

I would like to be done

I'm amazed and in awe that I have lived this long

I'm thankful to God for what He has done in and through me

I long to speak God's Word and write and sing

I love to show kids respect

I like to be alone

I long to be taken care of

I don't know what's true

I lie, but I don't mean to, I just don't trust myself to have the "right" answer

I've worked really hard to have my life be good. It's an amazing life and I'm ashamed that I am so unhappy

Most days I long to sleep, just sleep. No food, no getting dressed, no people (not because life isn't amazing - it is, and not because I'm depressed - I love being active) It's just hard to be me. By: "drejs"

A boy or girl may feel ashamed and confused, even to the point of self-loathing, which also may discourage them from alerting a trusted adult. Kids are often afraid to tell. Talk to a parent, counselor, school administration or other trusted adult. Seeing a counselor does not mean there is something wrong with you.

By Jamell Andrews

Tantrums are among the most difficult things that parents have to deal with. When a child is having a meltdown, it can be so frustrating that it may be tempting for the parent to have a meltdown as well. And if you ask anyone who has raised at least one child, they will likely tell you that dealing with tantrums can be an illogical and confounding challenge. It is not like dealing with an angry adult; kids handle their anger in completely different ways, and they rarely respond well to the types of things that we use to defuse tense situations involving grownups.

Of course, since all children are different, there is no single tantrum solution that works for everyone, but if you try these strategies for stopping tantrums, you should be able to find at least one that works for your child.

    Ignoring: There are many things that motivate kids to throw tantrums, but a simple desire for attention is a common motivating factor. By showing your child that you are not swayed by her extreme tactics, you may be able to help cut down on future tantrums. On the other hand, it may just make your child feel more upset in the short term.

    Bribery: Rewarding a child for stopping his tantrum is essentially positive reinforcement for bad behavior, so it probably should not be used on a regular basis. However, when you simply need to get your child to calm down as soon as possible, bribery is often the only quick fix that works. It is especially useful for those public tantrums, such as when a child throws a fit over not getting something at the grocery store.

    Time out: One of the best ways to teach a child that a behavior is inappropriate is to simply remove her from the situation and not allow her to return until she can calm down. It may help to set aside a safe spot in the house to designate as the official timeout area. Make sure it's in a spot where you can watch even while the child feels as if she has been separated from the rest of the home.

    Distraction: In most cases, a child having in the midst of tantrum is not actually as upset as he appears to be. Often you can reveal the deception behind the tears simply by changing the course of the conversation and making the child focus on something else. For example, if a child is having a tantrum over not being allowed to have a cookie, you might quickly change the subject to talk about something exciting that you have planned for tomorrow, or mention a fun activity that he may be interested in.

    Love: Tantrums can occur simply because a child feels momentarily neglected or unloved. Kids, especially very young ones, like to have frequent attention to remind them that they are loved and wanted. When your child is throwing a tantrum, try to soothe the situation by giving him a nice, warm hug and telling him how much you adore him.

    Calmness: As grownups, most of us realize that, when arguing with another adult, raising our voices only makes the situation worse. While children are less logical, they do respond positively to calm speech. As the grownups in the situation, it is our job not to get sucked into the tantrum and to remain calmly removed from the upset feelings. By staying calm and speaking in a soft voice, you will encourage your child to settle down, and you will also set a positive example for how to behave.

    Leave: Children need to learn as soon as possible that acting up in public is not acceptable. One of the most efficient ways to teach them this to leave any time they throw a tantrum in a public place. After you do this a few times, they'll learn that throwing a tantrum is not the way to get what they want. Plus, leaving can serve as a distraction and help get the child's mind on something else.