By Stefanie Garcia
There is something very cool about sitting on the edge of the rest of your life. As seniors in high school there is this pull of trying to figure out who you are and who you wanted to be in this world and that slate being completely blank. Yes, it is scary, but it is also very exciting too.
What better way to express yourself then with your senior portraits. It can be an expression of who you are right now in your life and a glimpse of who you want to become. Over the past 10 plus years, we have worked with so many individuals as they get ready to embark on their new journey and the number one question we get is "What do I wear?"
I am gonna tell you the piece of advice I tell them all. It does not matter whether your clothes have strips or not, or what color they are. It matters more that your clothes match your personality and style. The person you are right now. So if you love hats, bring hats. If you love bright colors, make sure most of your clothes have bright colors. If you are a little bit funky, work with that. If you love prints, bring it. A photographer can always tell you what will look best on camera after they see what you have, but first you have to come as you are. They should work with that.
Now, that being said, how do you find your personality in your wardrobe? Well, here are two tips I have to give.
First, Identify your personal style-Take a look in your closet and take an inventory of what you have. What are your favorite items? Pull out those items and lay them out. Take a look at these items, do you see a pattern forming, do your favorite pieces look the same or similar. What you have laying before you is a glimpse into your personal style. The items should also make you feel confident, attractive, fit well, and feel good to wear. If they don't, pitch them. Any items that don't fit well or don't make you feel good won't bring out your best self in a photo. You should feel the most you in them and you should feel the most you in them comfortably. Meaning, you shouldn't have to adjust your self in your clothes or mess with straps that keep falling down. In any photo shoot it will take your focus away from what you are trying to do and will get annoying for you in the long run as well.
Second, Add some accent pieces- The clothes you pulled out, that reflect you the most, are the items you should consider for your photo shoot. Now it is time to add some things that take it over the top. Here is where you can add more pieces of your personality, or for this photo shoot, try something you wouldn't normally do. Some examples of things to bring are pieces of jewelery, a really cute scarf or even a hat.
I hope these two tips help you prepare for your photo shoot. If anything, I hope they help you to find your personal style. We love photographing people because no two people are alike. The possibilities are endless when it comes to where you can take a photo shoot. See your photos as more than just pictures. Because they are.
Stefanie Garcia is a photographer with her sister Carina. They have a photography studio called Ania Photo and you can visit their site at aniaphoto.com
Posted in
Senior Portraits,
Wear Guide
By Helen Mersey
Most kids nowadays love anything prehistoric. Since seeing movies like Jurassic Park and the Land before Time the beasts of the prehistoric world have become more and more popular, so why not purchase a remote control dinosaur to give as a present. The realistic sounds and movements they make will add a sense of adventure and excitement to any kid's playtime.
'....and it doesn't matter how old your child is, you will find something to suit....'
You will get so much joy watching your young one open up their surprise gift revealing an up to date remote control dinosaur. Then, by pushing a few buttons or using the remote control it will come to life making life-like sounds and movements, walking across the floor as if it were a real creature from the past.
'Imagine the joy your child will get!!'
Your child's remote control dinosaur will be the most interactive toy they ever have. 'Spike the Ultra dinosaur' by Fisher Price is a great example of this. It is both fun and educational as it moves its mouth and head, roars, and walks about.
'It has real character!!'
Cruncher is another interactive remote control dinosaur. Made by Mattel, its big head and chomping mouth make it comical looking and its row of buttons will allow your child to make it move and sound off in certain ways - it is pre-programmed to acknowledge up to 30 actions and sounds making it really unique - 'and a lot of fun to play with!!'
'Interaction' is the main factor with a remote control dinosaur. Remember how with dinosaurs and action figures of the past you could only move certain limbs or push one button to make it do only one action?
'As great as it was it did not interact in any way, these new modern toys have changed all that'.
Do you know the 'Dinosaur Train series'? Tiny, Shiny, Don, and Buddy are the main characters and all preschool age, the idea being to teach young kids about prehistoric life. Your child can make them walk, flap their wings and also talk to them about dinosaurs, when touched on the tummy - 'Real cute...'
E-bay or Amazon is the best places to get a remote control dinosaur - it is very easy... Have a look at the full range, plus images and prices. There is also a range of Jurassic Park dinosaur toys. Remember the T-Rex and the Spinosaurus? You will find both here, and they look exactly as they did in the movies, and controlled by remote. Also, Amazon and E-bay both have free shipping - 'A very easy way to shop'!!
So you are looking for the best gift for your child - why not purchase a remote control dinosaur. It will be a real interactive toy rather than just some boring uninspiring gift that you child will lose interest in. Imagine how happy you will be seeing your child open their gift to reveal their own personal pet that moves and sounds realistic as it walks across the floor being controlled by a set of buttons or a remote. It also does not matter your child's age because you will find something to suit...
Helen purchased a great remote control dinosaur for her son John, it was hours of fun and entertainment, and the best gift he had ever got. Check out her new site at remote control dinosaur.org to find great deals and also about Spike The Ultra Dinosaur, the Cruncher Dinosaur, plus more....
Posted in
A Remote Control Dinosaur,
the Perfect Interactive Gift for Your Child
By Denny Hagel
As we watch our teens struggle through their challenges, we as parents want nothing more than to jump in and fix everything. We want to help them. We love them. But this is where it gets really tough. Even though intervening on their behalf may be a relief and solution to the current problem, we know in our hearts that to do that is not really helping them in the long run.
The teen years are a time of transition from childhood to adulthood. They are a time for our children to learn and fine tune the skills they need to enter adulthood prepared to create a life that will be happy and fulfilling. Anytime we interfere and handle their problems we are robbing them of an opportunity to gain these necessary skills and confidence in themselves.
As hard is it might be to resist making their pain go away, that is truly the most loving thing we can do.
Being a successful parent raising a teenager requires us to shift our role to one more like a coach on the sidelines. We need to have faith in what we have taught them in the first 10 to 12 years of life and learn to let them go little by little, letting them stand on their own finding their own ground. This is the only way they will be able to become successfully independent.
There are important life lessons to be learned during the teen years that will be with them for the rest of their lives. Problem solving is probably the most important one.
That doesn't mean they no longer need us. It means they just need us in a different way. Often I hear parents complaining about how difficult it is being a parent. Typically they are in conflict with their teens because parents are trying to exert themselves into their child's life and instinctively their child knows they need to and can do it for themselves.
What we can do is to be sure they know we are there for them and beside them ready to support and guide and offer unconditional love. The key is to promote healthy communication and allow them to decide and choose when they need us. All we have to do is leave the door open, be ready to listen and prepared to offer guidance when asked!
The piece of advice my mothered shared with me concerning the teen years (she raised 5 of us!) was the best advice I have heard to date...she said,"Parents who are willing to take a few steps back, hold their tongue and be ready at a moment's notice to offer a warm hug, attentive ear or safe shoulder to cry on will weather the teen years and come out with a stronger relationship than they began with."
Denny Hagel is the founder of Awakened Parenting LLC, a company dedicated to providing parents with the tools and skills to raise their children the way Nature intended it to be. She is the author of Mini-Me Syndrome and The Missing Secret To Parenting. She is a Children's Advocate and Parenting Coach. In addition Denny is raising and home schooling her two grandchildren. FREE e-Book "Becoming an Awakened Parent" http://www.MissingSecretToParenting.com
Posted in
Help Your Teen
By Tony A Ellis
Keeping kids happy and not pulling apart the house is always really hard. When they are bored at home on school holidays, it is even harder.
I always remember licking the beating sticks when Mom cooked cakes. It was one of the best times in my childhood. Buying cup cake mix is very cheap and easy. All you normally needs are eggs, butter and water.
Cooking with kids can be fun, but will always is very messy. Every Wednesday we have cake day with my 2 and 3 year old children. They look forward to it every week. Every time they see an egg now they say, "cake?" It is one of my favourite times in the week as well. Three weeks ago, we bought a new cup cake tray, that was in the shape of trains. The first cup cakes were great and the kids ate all of them in record speed.
Tips for cake making with kids:
Be ready for a big mess.
Have the kids on the another side of the bench and chairs so they can help.
Clean at every stage and sent kids to play when you are cleaning up.
Let the kids lick the mixing sticks and bowl.
Don't charge clothes or clean the floor until they have finished.
It does have to be perfect it is for the kids not a cake baking challenge, let them do as much as they can
Health options Last week we tried something different. We made Risotto trains. Cooked the rice added flavour (onion, beef stock or other stock) three eggs and cheese. Put the mix in the train cup cake and cooked then ready. Kids had rice trains for lunch and ate everything!!! My 3 year old would not eat rice before we made them into a train. Now he has tried it he will eat rice and it has opened up more menu items.
Tips for healthy food:
If they make it, they will eat it no strong colours e.g rice with red capsicum etc. Kids will start saying that they don't like it.
If it has eggs, get them to break into a separate bowl. It will make a mess and you will have to get egg shells out.
Know it will take 3 times as long and 10 times as messy but they eat it!
This will work well for other foods.
Most times it doesn't even have to look like a train as long as they know it has come from that cup cake tray they will eat it.
Posted in
cooking,
Kids Can Be Fun
By Jasper Cabbage
Hi Kids- Jasper here to talk about getting a new kitten, and how you can easily make it your best friend for life.
Many of you may be thinking about getting a brand new kitten, or may have just got one. Well I thought you might like to know a few tips to help you enjoy having lots of fun with your new little friend.
Kittens are great cute little balls of furry fun, and if you give them lots of love & attention as they grow they will become your friend for life. That also means of course that you'll have to give them a lot of care as well, and it may be YOUR job to feed them & clean their litter tray and so on, and this HAS to be done every day of the week. Remember, your kitten doesn't know when it's Saturday or Sunday & those may be days when you want to go to your friends place for some fun.
Remember also that your kitten may have just left his or her mother & brothers & sisters, and may be feeling quite lonely; so you need to be there with them to keep them occupied and their mind off of the big family they have just left behind. It would be better if you invited your friend round to your house to enjoy your new kitten with you.
Nursing and stroking them will relax them because that's what their mother used to do. If you do lot's of this in the first few days they will love you for it and will REALLY become your best friend. Playing with them when they are in a frisky mood is also great fun. For instance they LOVE chasing a piece of string if you trail it across the floor. You can also get lots of brightly coloured fluffy toys like mice, fluffy balls, and so on from your local pet shop. Generally they are not expensive, and will give Tibby hours of fun & just as important use up all that extra energy that they've always got when you're feeling tired!.
Kittens are also VERY curious about everything they come across. Try this just for fun. Cut a hole in the side of a cardboard box big enough for your kitten to get through and turn the box upside down. Place your kitten's head near the hole, and with your other hand scratch the OTHER side of the box on the outside, but don't let your kitten see you do it. Chances are he'll sneak into the box looking for those imaginary mice that he can hear and he'll stay in there jumping around all over the place if you move your hand around the outside of the box whilst scratching it. Kittens will play for hours with things like cardboard boxes and balls of wool.
When feeding your new pet, at first just put down a couple of small spoons of tinned food in a clean dish, and a dish of milk. then just stand back quietly and watch. If they scoff-down the food rapidly and seem to be looking around for more (some kittens may even ASK for more by making a "MEWING" sound) try putting down a couple more spoons and watch again. This way you'll quickly get a good idea of just how much to put down for them. Later, in a couple of months time as your kitten grows a bit you can put down another dish with some DRY biscuity things that generally wont attract flies and so on. Your kitty then can nibble whenever they feel the need during the day when you may be away from the house.
Later, as your kitty grows into a big cat try a dish of water next to their food.. WATER? Yes, you'll be surprised how many cats prefer WATER rather than milk as they grow up. You have to remember that milk is a liquid FOOD, and not really a true drink, but don't forget that we Humans put a lot of chemicals in our tap water and though most of US can't smell them your Tibby certainly will.
The best way to deal with this chemicals problem is to half fill a container (ask mum for an old saucepan) and let it stand without a lid for 24 hrs. Most of the chemicals will go out of the water into the atmosphere, and most cats will then drink the water. Don't forget though, when you use the water today you must refill the container for tomorrow and allow it to stand otherwise it'll have chemicals in it if you use it straight from the tap, and Tibby will know!.
Having a kitten for your friend DOES mean you must give up some time to take care of them, but you will get SO much, FUN & LOVE given back to you from your lovely new furry friend that it'll well worth it in the end.
Have fun with Kitty,
From your friend
JASPER CABBAGE.
For a FREE printable colour-in picture of Toby the Puddy tat, go to http://www.jasperskidstuff.com Jasper's purpose is to bring you & the family a diverse selection of information & entertainment. Jasper Cabbage is also proprietor of http://www.jasperstreasure.com
Posted in
Brand New Kitten
By Carl J Mondello
Teenage daughter........
"I hate you!
I wish I was dead!
There's nothing to eat in this house!"
Sound familiar? That's common language from the average teen age daughter.
Teenage son..........
No emotion, no communication, No response to a question.
Eg.. "Joseph. where are you going? "
"Ummm, I don't know."
"Then how do you know which way to turn when you go out the door?"
"Oh.. Tommy's house."
Or...
"My sister's a puny brat."
"I can't stand her! "
Why do they act this way?
Don't worry about it. It is the nature of the beast.
There is a quote attributed to Plato, the Greek Philosopher....."What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?" Hasn't changed much, has it?
I was driving my seventeen year old daughter to High School one day. She was a senior. " Dad, I am seventeen years old. I should be able to stay out as late as I want!"
I gave her the answer you would. She didn't like that. Five minutes later she said,
" I don't have enough clothes."
"Well", I told her, "I go the Mall and I see signs all over the place, Help Wanted. Why don't you get a job there on weekends so that you can buy the things you think you need"?
She answered indignantly, "You want me to work? I am only seventeen!"
There it is. They are neither fish nor fowl. That's why they are on the phone or on their computers all the time. It is a perfect compromise. Comfortably in the nest and out with their friends at the same time.
Teenagers will drive you crazy because they are selfish, narcissistic, immature and inconsiderate.
But don't worry. Cream rises to the top. If you give them love and example and pray hard enough, they, and you, will survive.
I would say to that daughter, described above, "Margaret, your room looks like a landfill. Please clean it." It would go in one ear and out the other. Years later she had her own apartment. We would visit her and it would be immaculate. I sat on her couch one day and she admonished me, "Dad, you're crushing the pillow." There was a little throw pillow behind me. This was the same girl I would plead with not to jump on my couch like that. That it wasn't a trampoline.
So, the little devil grew into an angel I am proud of today with her own teenagers to contend with.
However, these are dangerous and difficult times. It is getting more and more challenging. Teenagers are subjected to temptations and dangers I never experienced. When I was a teenager life was so simple compared to now. Movies, television, computers, music are all sending messages that are morally unhealthy and tempting. My role model was John Wayne, there is Madonna and countless celebrities, sport figures and actors who give permission for drug abuse, promiscuousness, immodesty, alcoholism, adultery and divorce.
As a parent, you must be vigilant and involved constantly. Parents tell me, "I would never violate my child's privacy." I say, "Baloney!" It is a war you are in. Check their computers. Read their diaries. Listen to their phone conversations. Look under the bed, follow them, check up on them.. they have no rights. If they foul up you have to take the consequences. So you have every reason to be on their backs at all times. Believe me, they won't like it. But there will come a time when they will thank you for it..
Perhaps I am generalizing too much. I am sure there are many kids who stay out of trouble and act civilly and responsibly. I say God Bless them. If you can say that about your children you are blessed too. Count your blessings.
But for all you other poor souls. Take heed. Fight the hard battle, keep the course, pray hard and you will one day be rewarded with an adult you can be proud of.
Youth is a wonderful time. Too bad it is wasted on the young.
I have no links as yet. I have a practice at 664 Aaron Court, Kingston, N.Y. 12401. (845) 338 1954. carlbkr@aol.com.
I am a Certified Hypnotherapist and therapist. I have been in practice almost 40 years.
Posted in
Coddle Them,
Or Kill Them,
Teenagers: Counsel Them
By Shyam A Sunder
You may have read recently about the hazing incident in a major college. Hazing is an extreme example of peer pressure.
Before we talk about how to cope with it, let us define peer pressure.
Peer pressure is simple one person or more, exercising a degree of influence over another person to behave or act in a certain way in exchange for the second person being "accepted" as part of a group. Such pressure can be exercized in a healthy or unhealthy way, over kids or adults, and to drive outcomes that are negative or positive.
Let break it up. Three elements must be present for peer pressure to be effective exercized.
1. Commanding a defined act -- the person being influenced must be told to commit a certain pre-defined act. It is not peer pressure if your kid is told, "just be yourself", or "do what you feel is best". No, the person exercizing the influence has strict rules about expected behavior. So, e.g. if I told your kid, "I want you, at exactly 5 AM, to come out of your room screaming, "Fire, Fire!", now that is peer pressure. It is given as a command which must be carried out exactly as the person communicating it wants it carried out. No deviation, no improvisation.
2. Reward -- the person being commanded to act in a certain way must be offered a reward. The reward can be acceptance into a group, a "badge", i.e. a title, or other reward, usually non-monetary. The reward is promised instantaneously which is why peer pressure is so effective.
3. Conformance -- remember that quite often, if not always, the peer pressure to commit a certain act, gets its legitimacy from sustained conformance by "peers", i.e. similar individuals to your kid. They may be classmates, workmates, same gender, same courses etc.
This last part is very important. Conformance by others lulls the kid into thinking that it is something special, since many of his or her colleagues are going through the same ritual.
So how do you get your kid to stand up and say no.
Before you start preaching or forbidding your kid to not fall prey to peer pressure, open his mind. Ask him series of simple questions, maybe because you are trying to understand his situation. Then once you know if the three conditions I described are present, you have to systematically let your kid work it out first within himself. You can ask pointed questions. E.g. instead of something destructive that your kid is being told to do, have him counter the "leader" of the group asking him to perform the act, with offering to do something useful and needed. So if it is school. let the leader know you think a better and lasting act of peer performance is to help someone in need. Then ask your kid to challenge the leader by asking, "I am sure you think this act of kindness is something you not only feel comfortable with but actively encourage others to perform it.
Posted in
Helping Kids,
Manage Peer Pressures
By Bianca Bowman
We all know that when a baby is born, any personalized gifts that are received will be cherished for years to come. It becomes more challenging to purchase items that hold a similar value as children age. However, there are those special gifts for kids that become keepsakes, just like personalized kids gifts, that will be treasured in adulthood after many years of use. The key is to find those favorite kid gifts.
FOR GIRLS
- A baby doll is a sure hit for two to six year olds. There are lifelike and interactive dolls available today. Even a typical baby doll could become the closest companion for a younger girl. The same is true for stuffed animals. When my sister was about four years old, she forgot her stuffed duck named "Ducky" at a hotel. We had to turn around to go pick it up after we left and had already driven about 200 miles. This is a perfect example of how important stuffed animals can be to a young child.
- For girls aged three to eight, consider a dollhouse. There are so many miniature pieces of furniture to choose from today that the possibilities are endless for decorating. In fact, some adults have made a hobby out of decorating dollhouses! Just think you may be introducing her to her very first hobby!
- A special gift for girls who are ages nine to thirteen is a music box. Some girls will prefer music boxes that are more sophisticated, while others will really enjoy music boxes that have a tiny ballerina twirling to the music. When deciding which to choose, try finding one that plays a recognizable song. She will absolutely love this gift!
- Think about giving girls aged ten to eighteen a luggage set. Some sets are solid colors while others have patterns. Luggage sets come in a variety of sizes, shapes and the quantity of pieces included, too.
- Another fantastic gift is a beanbag chair. This is a good gift for boys or girls aged seven to seventeen. There are many different designs and colors available. Be sure to find one that is durable.
FOR BOYS
- A train set for boys aged two to ten. Watching a train circle a track brings great joy to boys. Today, there are sets that have bridges that collapse, lights that blink; some have puffs of smoke exiting the funnel! Just like the dollhouses, there are adults who collect extremely detailed miniature trains to run on the tracks they build.
- Boys adore cars. Boys aged three to ten enjoy diecast racecars. A great gift to accompany those cars is a racetrack.
- Remote control cars, trucks, motorcycles and boats are a hit with boys aged five to sixteen. These vehicles have lights, sound and the ability to spin and drive over rough terrain.
- Remote control helicopters or airplanes are great for boys aged ten to seventeen. These flying objects make being outside into some seriously fun times!
These are some of the favorite kid gifts that will carry special memories. Next time you are looking to purchase special gifts for kids you can refer to this list and you will be right on track!
Finding unique gifts kids will love can be made less challenging when you focus on personalized kids gifts. One of the best online sources for personalized gifts as well as gifts for kids is Lillian Vernon, and you will receive the best in customer service, too.
Posted in
These Favorite Kid Gifts,
They Will Always Keep
By Stephanie L. Mann
America slowly evolved from "In God we trust" to the "me generation" demanding rights without a sense of responsibility to neighbors or community. The loss of community involvement has contributed to the growth of criminal gangs. When families break down, children can become angry. They can find comfort and support through gangs, sex and drugs.
The FBI reports the peak age for burglary is 16 and violence, age 18. Without correction, children fill the void with a false sense of power. Without responsible adults, a teen can steal or assault another child without guilt.
Police, schools and community leaders are struggling to cope, but children need adults to speak up and support each other.
As a crime prevention coordinator, I was facilitating a neighborhood meeting. After discussing ways to stop burglars, a neighbor asked what to do about two boys, 7 and 9 who were bullying her children. Other neighbors added the boys stole from a garage, broke several flowerpots and smashed a mailbox. A man said he had told the mother, "Get your boys under control" and she slammed her door. The group decided they could not let two young boys disrupt their lives but they needed a positive approach. Two tactful neighbors agreed to talk to the mother and offer help. The mother not only listened by burst into tears and said her husband had left. Neighbors decided to help and several men became mentors and families included the boys in their activities. Today they are successful students, one in high school and the other in college.
There are 28,000 gangs in the US and nine youth die every day from violence. Neighborhood support is critical for struggling families. Isolation creates an environment for crime, vandalism and domestic violence as citizens seek refuge behind locked doors. Americans are paying a high price.
We are at a crossroads. Citizens can restore the social fabric of communities.
Ten ways YOU can help stop gangs and destructive behaviors:
1. Help children learn how to become centered by taking your family to church. Children become strong and resilient by learning how to handle their emotions. Self-esteem is a "do it yourself," project of looking within and changing ourselves. A strong conscience protects us, provides guidance and self-control.
2. Create a network of love and support with a peaceful home life and connecting to positive family members, neighbors and a church family.
3. Teach children the buddy system and street smarts. Encourage them to listen to their self-protective instincts and trust their intuition to avoid danger.
4. Include children in your home safety program: how to secure your home, how to answer the door and phone, what to do when home alone or in an emergency.
5. Create a safe neighborhood by working with neighbors. Join a neighborhood group or start one.
6. Establish a block parent program and designate a safe house on the block.
7. Conduct a neighborhood safety survey: Do you have overgrown shrubs, adequate lighting, open drainage, speeding cars, abandoned houses, drug dealers or gangs? Work with neighbors to solve problems.
8. Report criminal activities or designate neighborhood leaders willing to report to police.
9. Encourage city leaders to appoint a volunteer committee to promote community involvement and youth safety projects. Increase communication with local support agencies. Invite responsible teens to participate in teen courts and neighborhood groups.
10. Ask existing groups (churches, civic groups) to help organize after-school activities, start neighborhood newsletters, sponsor block parties and help clean up neighborhoods. Groups can reach out and help citizens get connected so gangs will not attract youth.
Responsible adults, take charge! We can create safe communities when children see positive role models and learn acceptable behavior.
Americans can reduce fear and restore trust by creating neighborhood support. We will stop gangs when adults work together for safe, healthy communities for everyone, especially for our children.
Stephanie Mann hosts a program on MORE Public Radio International and a crime and violence prevention consultant. She is the author of 4 national crime prevention book to promote community TEAMWORK to protect children. You can contact her at: http://www.safekidsnow.com
Posted in
Stop Gangs Without Money
By Norma J Goodwin, M.D.
Although not apparent at first glance, there are common threads between the epidemic of youth and young adult violence (youth violence) in the nation's urban areas, and the recent widely publicized suicides among youth who are perceived or acknowledged to be GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender). Whether influenced by gang and similar values, or disdain for individuals with non-traditional sexual orientations, the following threads are common in both youth groups, and cry out for attention:
- - Lack of emotional security
- - Poor social skills, and intimidating others to gain friends and respect
- - Seeking power by hurting others
- - Being insensitive to the hurt caused to others
- - Dislike of diversity
- - Experiencing faulty parenting
- - Involvement in school-based incidents that are often inadequately handled.
Because faulty parenting is often such an important contributing factor to bullying and other youth violence, additional comments follow about it.
Faulty Parenting - In urban communities, faulty parenting is often, but not always, associated with low socioeconomic status, which undoubtedly contributes to the greater incidence of youth homicides in disadvantaged urban ("inner-city") communities which are, unfortunately disproportionately African American and Hispanic.
At all economic levels, faulty parenting can occur among well-meaning parents, thus unconsciously turning children into bullies. It often results from not treating one's children with respect. In fact, in some cases it results from parents even bullying their children. Examples include: (a) physical and verbal abuse, including yelling and cursing) at children to get them to comply (which not only hurts them, but also damages their self-esteem); (b) ignoring children; (c) severely punishing children for minor offenses related to discipline; and (d) too much parental permissiveness. Not insisting on discipline can lead to over-demanding children manipulating their parents, which sends a message to children that intimidation is the easiest way to get what they want.
Inner-city homicides and glbt (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) suicides both call for intensive preventive action. However, although there are many more known and reported inner city youth homicides - which disproportionately involve minority youth - than glbt youth suicides, the youth suicides tend to attract and hold more media attention. All such tragedies are great losses to their families, extended families, and to society even if inadequately appreciated by society. Unless society gives greater attention to addressing and reversing targeted underlying causes, the incidence of unnecessary and tragic youth violence is likely to escalate.
A summary of tips for parents on how to handle bullying from the book Strength for Their Journey by Robert L. Johnson, M.D., an Editor and Advisor of Health Power for Minorities (Health Power®), and Paulette Stanford M.D., follows.
How to Handle Bullying - Tips for Parents
Establish a zero-tolerance policy. Let children know that bullying is unacceptable under any circumstances.
Explain that racism is a very serious form of bullying, and that it's a matter of racial pride to avoid hurting other human beings.
Be consistent with your discipline. Stick to your rules so that children know what you expect. When they are unsure of the rules, they sometimes bully to feel more secure and gain control.
Spend more time with your children. Bullying and other troublesome behavior tends to occur when parents don't spend enough time with their children. Often, parents are so concerned with earning enough money that they basically leave their children to raise themselves. Children need to be close to their parents, both for reassurance and mutual support.
Show children how to manage conflicts. "Children learn what they live" If they witness force being used (parental yelling, hitting or using threats) to accomplish getting what's desired, they are more likely to use the same techniques on others for control.
Encourage bullies to walk a mile in the other person's shoes. Bullies often have a problem understanding the pain others feel. Have them put themselves in various situations, and come up with solutions where nobody gets hurt. If a child still bullies, don't let him or her tell you it's no big deal. Point out that victims of bullying often suffer a lot of pain, which sometimes haunts them for years.
Norma J. Goodwin, M.D.
Founder, President & CEO
Health Power for Minorities
http://WWW.healthpowerforminorities.com
Posted in
Handle Bullying,
Other Youth Violence