By Rosalie Lynch


Ask kids what one of their problems is that bothers them the most they will tell you: "getting people to listen to me when I speak". This is not just your "run of the mill" listening like we adults listen to our spouse; listen to the clergy on Sunday morning; your employer and your friends--no, indeed.

Believe it or not, it seems to be a different kind of listening to kids.

I will explain it the best way that a kid explained it to me. One day she was hanging around her mom in the kitchen, who was very busy preparing the family dinner. The daughter was talking away to her mom and her mom was just shaking her head "yes" or "no" and making sounds once in a while as if she was listening to her daughter talk. The daughter said, "Mom, listen to me!" The mom explained "I am, honey". The kid said, "no you are not - I want you to listen to me with your eyes".

Get it? When kids want to talk to you, they want you to take the time to look into their eyes so they have your attention. Let me say, I have known some kids who do not know "when to stop talking"--they just go and on. Before we endorse this kid's philosophy, we also acknowledge mom's and dad's have to do more than one thing at the same time. Parents have to choose when to give all of the attention to their kid talking and choose other times listening while doing other things. However, when the kids in your life takes the time to talk to you and if you sense it is important to the kids take the time to "listen to them with your eyes".