By James Lehman


As every parent knows, fights over bedtime can be one of the biggest power struggles you'll have with your child, whether they're five or fifteen. The truth is, many kids just don't want to go to bed at night. For most of them, I think it's because they're afraid they're going to miss something. With others, it might be because they're frightened of the dark, or afraid to go to sleep. And for some kids, they simply want to be in control. Bedtime just becomes another arena in which kids will try to fight with you. If you've ruled out fear of the dark, fear of bedwetting, and fear of not waking up, that leaves us with oppositional behavioral issues-the power struggle.

First of all, as in any power struggle, we don't want to engage in a fight if we can possibly avoid it. That means that if we implement a new program, we may get a fight at first-and by the way, it might be a very serious or forceful one. My advice is that you try not to personalize it and instead, realize that this is a matter of your child meeting their responsibilities. In other words, the focus should be on your child learning how to manage himself through meeting his responsibilities and not on your child learning to manage you through power plays.

FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN

Realize that the problem-solving skills of younger kids are less evolved; they often have problems with impulsivity and frustration control. If going to bed is frustrating for them, it's likely that their behavior is going to escalate into an unpleasant situation. So the first rule is, don't make bedtime unpleasant. Make no mistake, I'm not saying make it pleasant by talking sweet or bribing them. I'm saying don't make it unpleasant by looking for an argument. Don't make it into a self-fulfilling prophecy and expect them to fight with you because that's what they've done in the past.

Have Quiet Time before Bedtime

I think as the house winds down before bedtime, there should be quiet time. Any TV or DVDs watched by your child should be screened for mellowness and simplicity. No video games or computer a half hour before bedtime. Ideally, bedtime should be a time of quiet in the house-dad shouldn't be building a chair in the garage, mom shouldn't be slamming around in the kitchen, and other siblings should not be screaming and yelling or laughing loudly.

Have Your Child Set Their Own Alarm Clock

When kids begin pre-school or kindergarten, they should get an alarm clock. Teach them how to set themselves at night when they start school. Part of the ritual of getting up is that we set the alarm clock at night when we go to bed. That way, you get your child to take responsibility as soon as they have some place they need to go. This is basic behavioral training, and it's effective in getting kids into the routine of waking up in the morning. By the way, I would recommend that you get an alarm clock with a subtle ring that doesn't rattle kids' nerves in the morning.

Use a Star Chart to Get Kids Focused on Good Nighttime Behavior

For younger children with behavioral issues, I recommend that parents have what is known as a star chart. You can construct this yourself by getting some magnetic stars and dots, a whiteboard and a non-erasable marker. Across the top of the chart, you make a row for every day of the week. Across the bottom, you make lines. On the top line, you write, "Gets ready for bedtime without a fight" "Does bedtime hygiene well" "Goes to his room and gets into bed without an argument." And in some cases you might want to put, "Shuts off light in half-an-hour." So what happens is that if your child goes to the bathroom and follows good hygiene, he gets a star. But let's say he doesn't go to his room appropriately. Then he gets a dot. With this system, you have two ways of measuring rewards. It's a very powerful method to encourage the performance of simple, functional behaviors.

Your child has two ways to get rewarded here: if they get a certain percentage of stars each day, they get a reward that night, and if it's weekly, they get it that weekend. The reward on the weekend has to be something special with an adult. Like they go have an ice cream cone with dad, or go to a movie with both parents. The daily reward might be some extra video game time or the ability to stay up half-an-hour later. The reason we do it incrementally is that your child almost always has a chance to succeed and can almost always start over. So you won't have him saying, "I've already ruined my day, why should I try?" On a start chart, kids never lose. If they don't accomplish a certain goal, they don't lose a star-they just don't gain one.

Use Soft Lights 30 Minutes Prior to Bedtime

Leave on a soft light in the room for half-an-hour before lights out. For younger kids under eleven, reading is a good way to fall asleep. It clears their mind and is soothing. It also gives them some power of choice. "Would you like to read?" and "What would you like to read?" are all built into this idea. Now, if you give that as an option to your kids, the good news is if they don't get up on time in the morning, that's the first thing you can take away: It becomes the consequence for not getting up. And not only do they get a dot on their chart, they hear, "You're going to have your lights out with no reading time until you get up on time for two days." Be sure to add, "After two days, we'll try it again."

A word of advice here: always keep a light at the end of the tunnel for kids. If you make them feel powerless, it will encourage them to engage in power struggles with you.

FOR OLDER KIDS

For adolescents at bedtime-that's kids aged 12 and up-the scenario is a little different. The problem with teens is that the issue about going to their bedroom will hardly present any problem at all. Many will already be in their bedroom talking on their cell phones and texting their friends. As many parents know, the issue is what they do in their room after bedtime.

By the way, rules around bedtime with older teens are highly dependent on whether or not they get up on time in the morning. If your child can wake up with the alarm, goes to school and is not rude or unpleasant, and he plays video games until midnight, if that doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me.

Take the Electronics out of the Bedroom (Two Ways to Do It): Here, we're dealing specifically with the kids who stay up late and don't get up in the morning, or who are nasty and mean in the morning because they're tired, who fall asleep in school and can't produce quality work because they're sleepy. I have some bad news for parents of these kids: your child should not be allowed to have any electronics in their room at bedtime. You can accomplish this in two ways: you can take the game controls of the video game, their cell phone and the mouse and keyboard out of their room. Or you can simply remove all of the electronic stuff from the room.

It goes without saying that if your child is not complying, the cell phone stays with the parent. Please note what I said: not in the kitchen or in the living room, but in the parent's hand. I think for adolescents, you never put the stuff back in their room until they've proven themselves. If they abuse it, they have to earn it back.

Check in on Your Kids before Lights out I also recommend that parents check on kids at least once while the light is on before they go to sleep, as well. Of course, it's important to knock on their door and say, "May I come in?" If your child says yes, then open the door. If they say no, then say, "OK, I'll be back in 5 minutes." Checking on your kids, even adolescents, lets them know that you're concerned about what they're doing and care about their health and safety.

Free Time before They Sleep Success with the new bedtime program will depend on your teen's temperament as well as your conviction that learning how to get up is an important responsibility for your child. Some parents don't mind waking their kids up five times; others see it as a real manipulation on the part of their child to avoid getting up on time and taking responsibility. Either way, older kids are also welcome to have their lights on for an hour before bedtime, during which time they can read. Again, that's going to help them wind down, calm down and get them ready to sleep. Some parents allow low music and others don't. I think that each parent can go through the process of elimination with different variables and see what works best for their family.

Giving Consequences to Teens: Adolescents are given the same consequences as younger kids: have them lose their hour of reading time if they have problems getting up in the morning. You can also use the same formula that you use with younger kids: "Do it for a few days, and we'll talk about it." Older kids may act out and be angry about this. But once again, consistency and perseverance on the part of the parent will really pay off.

A Powerful Tool for Parents: Ask the 4 Questions and End Power Struggles

Here's a sample conversation you can have with your younger or older child after you've explained the new rules of bedtime to them:

You: "What is the new rule?" Your child: "Lights out." You: "How will we know it's working?" Your child: "I'll get up on time." You: "What will we do if it doesn't work?" Your child: "We'll try again." You: "What will we do if it works? Your child: "I'll get lights back on."

This type of dialogue, which focuses on four elements, is a good way to train kids to really measure something. The four measurements are really 4 simple questions:

1. How will we know it's working?
2. How will we know it's not working?
3. What will we do if it's working?
4. What will we do if it's not working?

Those are powerful questions, whether you ask them in regard to your child staying up later, using the car, or going to a dance. Imagine that your teen wants to change his or her bedtime to 10 p.m. and it's currently set at 9:30. Let's say as a parent, you're open to the idea and willing to try it. The conversation should go like this:

"OK, here's the deal, Sam. We'll let you change your bedtime to 10 o'clock at night. How will we know it's working?" Hopefully your child will answer with, "I'll get up on time." If not, you can lead it: "You'll get up on time. You won't be rude with other people in the morning, and you won't fall asleep in school."

The next question is, "How will we know it's not working?" And the answer: "You're not getting up on time, you're being unpleasant and cranky in the morning, and you're not doing your assignments in school, because you're sleepy."

End the conversation with the last two "what" questions:

"What will we do if it is working? We'll keep it going - great job."

"What will we do if it's not working? We'll go back to the 9:30 bedtime for awhile until we have a chance to discuss it again."

Those terms are the elements for any discussion around your child meeting responsibilities or doing new things. It's a very, very powerful equation for anyone when measuring something, but it's especially effective for a child or adolescent because it focuses them on the rules and gives you a structure to fall back on if they can't meet their responsibilities. If your child isn't able to keep up his or her end of the bargain and they attempt to start a fight, you can always refer them back to the four questions and the agreement you had before the new rule was put into play.

Remember, you can end power struggles by taking the focus off meaningless arguments, and putting it back where it belongs-on responsibility.

By Walter H. Jackson


We all want to inspire young people, but we can't do it if we are not inspired on a continuous basis ourselves This can sometimes be difficult to do in today's world filled with depressing news. It takes effort.

Great teachers and great coaches know you have to keep yourself balanced and optimistic. It is not what you say to young people; it is the example they see in you which is most important. This is why some people say, "I talk and talk, and talk and it doesn't do any good." Kids are intuitive. They know if you are living by the principles, you are trying to teach them. For example, if you tell them to be positive, and you are acting depressed, they will not be motivated to be positive. Why should they listen to you?

How to keep yourself inspired:

1. Take time to read passages from some self-help or spiritual book everyday. Biographies are great to keep you inspired. Reading about how others overcame opposition helps you get through your challenges.

2. Daily exercise is not only the healthy thing to do, but it keeps your spirits high by raising your energy levels. You cannot motivate others if you are tired and lethargic.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. You do not need people who are going to keep bringing you down. If they are relatives, tell them in a loving way that you are trying to improve your life, and are not going to engage in negative conversations. If they persist, tell them simply that you will have to talk to them later when the conversation is not so depressing to you. Eventually they will get the message and know that if they talk to you, they are going to have to be more positive. This helps them to be more conscious of what they are saying and improves their lives as well. Often people are simply not aware of how negative they are to others. They do not realize that this is exactly why their lives may be falling apart.

4. Find a mentor. Mentors can be teachers, spiritual leaders, or anyone you admire. Write a letter or email someone successful to ask them how they became successful, they may surprise you and write back.

5. Write down your goals. Keep them in your wallet or purse and look at them on a daily basis.

6. Find quotes and write down affirmations that lift you. Read them as often as possible.

7. Listen to motivation tapes in the morning while getting dressed to start your day. If you are open, find spiritual books and tapes to uplift yourself.

You will never know how much you have changed the life of a child, teen, or young adult. Sometimes they will not even realize the impact you have had on their life until years later. So, do not expect them to lavish you with compliments. You may not even see an immediate difference in their behaviors. However, know, they are taking in everything thing you say and they are watching your behaviors. Simply be the best you can be and keep yourself inspired and motivated. You are bound to make a difference in a young person's life, and even in yours.

By Ma. Sheila Escuro


The fashion keeps on changing but the styles remained constant. Simply said, the trade name of your outfit doesn't matter, it is about wearing those ensembles.

To instill in them that fashion sense or to let them appreciate fashion while they are kids can really assist them in the near future, when they have the insights already of good labels, to economize. Instead of running that so much bills to their credits. There are lots of adolescents who receive education on fashion but only on magazines who tends to advertise their products, designs a lot for selling more on it. This is nothing on objective fashion education. Just for a sample, this fashion magazines would not tell about grades on leather nor how to maintain shoes due to the fact that they only like the people to purchase and nothing more. The questions most of us is, what if i got a limited cash?

1. Fabric - when you take your child to shop on their dress, it must be very educational or they feel it as a field trip. When the clothing apparel are compared based to their quality, should you spend more on its quality or the label? Our kids is easily influenced, they are learning in direct experience, by setting right in their faces.

2. The colors - is it suitable, is it fine on the occasion, your skin complexion or better be in variety? Our clothes during work, special events, recreational activities and so much more.

3. The maintenance - our kids need to know maintenance most especially to the leather goods including the belts, shoes, wallets and bags.

4. To know difference on raw materials, including the various quality of the leather. Kids needs to know the unprocessed leather, when your buying a low quality like many cheap versions it will also mean low quality but then purchasing a higher quality version will require maintenance. This type of leather should not be utilized daily because its prone to stains of water then an increase exposure on sunlight leads to their darkening.

By Lorena B Angell


Does the thought of camping with your kids stress you out? Do you find yourself dreading family trips with your kids? Wouldn't it be nice to relax and de-stress on the weekend instead of getting even more wound-up?

Camping with our kids and teens can sometimes be a struggle.

Somewhere in our minds, we have programmed ourselves to force our children to enjoy nature. We want them to appreciate all the beauty and wildlife especially when we live in urban areas and we don't see those things everyday.

We plan our meals to be the foods that our kids will eat, not so much what we like ourselves. Only to have them put their noses into the air and say they aren't hungry. We try so hard to make the whole experience fun for our kids that we become frustrated when it fails.

The harder we try to force them to enjoy and appreciate, they fight us. They put on their pouty faces and complain and mope around, determined to not have a good time. All the while, you as the parent are ready to explode. You find yourself irritated and grouchy. I think that secretly the kids are pleased with themselves for irritating you so.

Teens absolutely detest being pulled away from their friends and lifestyles. It is social death for them to be separated from their cell phone. We say to them, "this will be good for you" or "there weren't cell phones one hundred years ago and they got along just fine, you'll live".

Even with all of that, we wonder why our teen can't just enjoy the trip and be happy. Our camping trip has turned into one of anger, frustration, disappointment and stress. Does this sound familiar to you?

Have you ever heard the saying, "pick your battles wisely"? Camping should not be a battle that you have with your kids.

Maybe all you need is some helpful tips on how to make the camping experience enjoyable for all. My number one suggestion for creating a low stress camping trip is to go with the flow and not against it.

Instead of battling with them and insisting that they leave their cell phone home, let them bring it.

Let your kids bring their electronic gadgets: Cell phones, gaming devices, cd players, mp3 players, dvd players. Cell towers are more common in the mountains these days, plus, texting is usually possible with only one bar of service where actual calls may not work so well.

Younger kids might want to bring their gaming devices along and quite honestly, it makes the drive to your camping spot easier when everyone is entertained. We like to take our DVD player with us for our younger child. The car ride to our camp site goes much quicker without having to hear, "Are we there yet?".

Plus, we can bring other DVD's to watch in case we get rained out and have to spend a lot of time in our tent.

Remember the batteries and power. Make sure you are well equipped to handle your needs. Power inverters are wonderful as are small generators when you are camping without electricity.

The whole idea of camping is to de-stress and get away from it all. It seems rather odd that I would recommend taking it all with you. However, you'll find that by allowing some freedoms for your kids, they'll actually be more relaxed and that will trickle down to you.

You also might witness an extraordinary event, Mother Nature winning out. Once the kids are actually out in the forest or down by the stream or sitting around the campfire, they seem to relax and enjoy themselves. Before too long, you'll notice that they are no longer holding their electronic devices. They will be adding firewood to the fire or collecting tadpoles down at the stream instead of claiming victory over the fourth level of some handheld game you can't even pronounce.

But whatever you do, don't make a big deal about it. Just enjoy the fact that the kids aren't fighting and sit back and relax.

Lorena B. Angell is an outdoor enthusiast who enjoys camping with her children and husband. She enjoys helping others learn how to let go of the stresses of life and relax with camping.

By A Veronica L


Are you aware of what is going on, on your computer when you are not there? It is important that we protect our children and teens when they are online. Installing software for parental controls for surfing the internet is a good tool, but there is other things as well you need to do to protect your child. There have been a lot of surveys done on this subject; one that I saw had these numbers.

93% of the parents say that they have established rules for their child`s internet use.

37% of students, in grade 5 - 12, reports being given no rules from their parents using the internet.

41% do not share with their parents where they go online or what they do.

26% of the student said that their parents would be concerned if they knew what they were doing online.

How can you protect your child online? Here are some internet safety tips for kids and teens.

1. Be involved - no software in the world can take your place. Be involved in your child's internet activities. Let her/him show you what sites they visit. Show interest in what they are doing. Talk to your child about the threats online and about internet safety for kids.

2. Guidelines - put up guidelines and rules and post them close to the computer. Make sure your son or daughter knows the rules and why you have the rules. Include: What they are allowed to do online, what sites they are not allowed to visit. What information they should never give out to anybody online, personal information. How long they are allowed to be on the computer and what times...

3. Keep the computer in a family room - do not let your teenager keep the computer in their room. They should have nothing to hide and that way they can not sneak on after bedtime. A child should not be on the internet after bedtime, a predator would notice that, they know that the child is not supervised.

4. Software - install software for parental controls for surfing the internet. So what should your parental control software be able to do?

Make sure your software:

E-mails - Your software should be able to record and store all emails being sent and received by your child.

IM and chatting - Your software should be able to record Instant Messages (IMs & "chats") sent and received on your child`s computer.

Internet history - You should be able to see every web page they have visited and for how long they have visited.

Blocking - Make sure your software blocks the sites you do not want your child to visit.

By Michael Chase


Tennis is a fantastic sport in any season, but the summer is very special for this sport as it can be played outdoors while soaking up some sun rays. It is also a great sport to learn at a summer camp. When it comes to sports camps most people think of basketball, football, and cheerleading. Tennis camps are often overlooked. Tennis is a great sport to perfect your physical as well as mental skills. In Tennis camps you learn to play tennis. You will work on your individual strengths and weakness as an overall player. There are coaches and counselors to assist you. It is a fantastic way to improve as a tennis player and gather some valuable team player skills in the process. Tennis has become a very competitive sport and utilizing tennis camps is a great way to stay on top of this quickly growing sport. Tennis has become more popular over the past ten years and so has tennis camps. You learn to think quickly on your feet as you plan each specific move to throw off your component.

How to develop your hand movements and strength

In addition to gaining overall arms strength, agility, flexibility, you can also increase your endurance over time. The effect tennis camps have on players is amazing. They leave feeling more confident as a player. Whether they plan on competing at the local neighborhood courts or in the Wimbledon players truly benefit from tennis camps. For many children and teens camps that focus predominantly on sports such as tennis camps greatly improves self-esteem. By enrolling your family or self into a tennis camp you may be helping the beginning career of the next tennis star.

Doing your research

When selecting a tennis camp there are many tips and facts everyone should know. Tennis camps come in various types. Having a basic understanding of the type of tennis camps will make selection of the right camp for you easy. Tennis camps are available as residential camps, specialty camps, focused program camps, outdoor education camps, or family camps. Residential tennis camps have a variety of time periods ranging from several days to a few weeks. You should always discuss the accommodations with the camp director before you sign up for one of these camps. Accommodations as well as food service can be in many different forms from cabins and cafeteria to tents and catered food service.

Specialty tennis camps focus on programming placing special attention one particular area of the sport. Some specialty tennis camps are for players who have certain physical, mental, or developmental needs. Focused program tennis camps focus on rigid more structured activities in relation to tennis. Outdoor education centered tennis camps are often used as retreats for businesses and large groups of children and teens. Family tennis camps generally have activities set to accommodate the entire family of all ages all throughout the day. They also can operate seasonally or all year round depending on the particular camp. You should always do you research online before signing up for any particular tennis camp. Always select a type of tennis camp that best suits your needs that you are most comfortable with. Tennis camps are a great way to advance your game.

By Rosalie Lynch


Did you know that some school districts are banning games during recess? Would you believe that touch football, soccer, tag and dodgeball have been "outlawed"? The reason the states give is: kids may get bruised, twist an ankle or even break a leg or an arm.

A "Tween" boy went to a boy scout meeting with a big bandage on his forehead. Of course, all of the other boys gathered around him and wanted to know what happened. The Tween boy was so proud in getting the attention of his peers and was more than happy to tell his story about the adventure he had and how he got hurt. The number one question from the other boys was "does it hurt" and the boy said "no".

The generation "Tweens" is probably the first generation that grew up with legally have to sit in carseats from day one of their adventure on this Earth; can not gain permission from parents to get on their bikes and run around their neighborhood; go outside and play with the other kids without one of the parents sitting out in the driveway watching the kids for their safety.

These kids can not even stand at the school bus stop without a teacher or a parent standing around them. You can not tell me that some of the childhood memories were taken away from them. I'm going to watch this generation for quite a few years to see what impact all of these safety procedures will make in their life as adults.

By Rosalie Lynch


Ask kids what one of their problems is that bothers them the most they will tell you: "getting people to listen to me when I speak". This is not just your "run of the mill" listening like we adults listen to our spouse; listen to the clergy on Sunday morning; your employer and your friends--no, indeed.

Believe it or not, it seems to be a different kind of listening to kids.

I will explain it the best way that a kid explained it to me. One day she was hanging around her mom in the kitchen, who was very busy preparing the family dinner. The daughter was talking away to her mom and her mom was just shaking her head "yes" or "no" and making sounds once in a while as if she was listening to her daughter talk. The daughter said, "Mom, listen to me!" The mom explained "I am, honey". The kid said, "no you are not - I want you to listen to me with your eyes".

Get it? When kids want to talk to you, they want you to take the time to look into their eyes so they have your attention. Let me say, I have known some kids who do not know "when to stop talking"--they just go and on. Before we endorse this kid's philosophy, we also acknowledge mom's and dad's have to do more than one thing at the same time. Parents have to choose when to give all of the attention to their kid talking and choose other times listening while doing other things. However, when the kids in your life takes the time to talk to you and if you sense it is important to the kids take the time to "listen to them with your eyes".

By Rosalie Lynch


This is very scary. If judged only by their IQ scores, kids today are smarter than any generation since IQ testing began. We all think our kids and/or grandkids are the smartest kid walking on this Earth. Believe it or not it now appears to be true. It is believe that this is attributed to: a richer intellectual environment; smaller families; testing dexterity and possibly genes. I used to ask my grandson "How did you get so smart?" and his answer was always "It's my brain, grandma".

My only concern is if the teachers are able to keep up with these intelligent kids. I have experienced some teachers that are lost when it comes to relating to kids in their classrooms (sorry teachers). I hate to categorize it this way, but it appears with some teachers the only way they know to relate to some of the kids in the classroom, who are completely bored with the average teaching that has been in place for generations, is to bully the student. At this point, it is the responsibility of the parent to check on the teachers to make sure their kids are being taught in the best way possible; considering our kids are getting smarter each and every day. Let's not, as adults, stay complacent and think kids today can be taught the same way we were taught.

One mom explained to me that she believes the teachers are only teaching the kids what they need to know in order to achieve high SAT scores to ensure state and federal financial support. That is truly a disappointment if indeed that is true. An easy answer for schools is to push the kids ahead in the "advanced" courses. Some kids are not mature enough to handle "advanced" courses even though their brains may be ready. As it turns out kids are struggling with "advanced" courses because they are not mature enough to plan their time; their concentration has not been developed to figure out how to get all of their school work completed; and the kids gets emotional about not being able to keep up.

By Rosalie Lynch


Everyday kids are on their own at school. From the time they get on the school bus in the morning until they are delivered home in the afternoon. I have often wondered how many decisions they had to make on their own. The kids have to decide what friends they are going to play with during recess; what to eat in the cafeteria since mom doesn't sit the food in front of them; how much attention they pay to their teacher(s); if they obey the school rules, etc. Our new "branded" generation the "Tweens" (ages 8-12) are making decisions about the "click" of friends they are going to hang around and many other decisions.

It is the responsibility of the parents to discover what decisions their kids are making at school. Don't completely trust your kid at this age. You can trust they are doing the best they know how; but, they still have a lot to learn about making their own decisions.

Make a parent-teacher appointment and ask their teacher for their observations relating to your kid making decisions at school. Don't let the teacher ramble on relating to other behaviors (unless you want them to) stay on your agenda item for this meeting which is what decisions does my kid have to make at school during the day. You'r kid will hate you for doing this. I remember Caroll O'Conner who played Archie Bucker for years said to the media and to parents when he lost his grown-up son to drugs: "Get in the face of your kids and protect them no matter what you have to do".

At this age you may ask can a parent make a change in the decisions their kids are making without them? You won't like the answer to this question--the answer is "maybe yes" and "maybe no". It all depends on the communication you have built with your kid the first ten years of their lives. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, parents need to seek professional help in this area if you are concerned about the decisions your kids are making on their own.

By Beverly Stone


What is the right monologue for you? Kids and teens are often faced with this question.
Whether you are auditioning for a school or community play, a job, an agent or manager or even
a Performing Arts College your choice of monologue will have a lot to do with how successful
you will be.

Not too long ago, my son was auditioning for several Performing Arts Colleges and although he
had participated in many theater productions as a kid, now that he was a teenager, we were advised
to have him work with a monologue coach. After calling several theater professionals, whose opinion
I trusted, I came up with the name of a person that seemed to fit our needs. I proceeded
to call him, to check his availability, and to conduct a phone interview. The phone call went well and, consequently, we set up the initial meeting. What follows is the process that they went through in order to determine the perfect monologue for my teenage son.

* Before the first meeting the monologue coach asked me to describe my son's physical characteristics, training, and what roles (if any) he had played over the years.
* The coach chose six monologues he thought might be suitable and brought them to the first coaching session. He then presented them to my son. They read through each monologue and talked about what was the most comfortable (in terms of delivery) and appropriate for the piece.
* My son came away from the first session with four monologues to consider. His coach asked him to obtain a copy of the entire play from which each monologue was taken, and to read through each one in its entirety.
* During the next coaching session, my son worked on all four pieces. He and the coach then decided to eliminate one more of the monologues, as it did not suit my son well and he, in fact, did not have any interest in performing it.
* Having selected three suitable pieces, that both the coach and my son felt were believable pieces for a young "all American boy next door" type to perform, they worked on these pieces for the next four weeks. There was one lesson per week. My son also rehearsed at home in front of the mirror in between lessons.
* This young actor became very comfortable with the monologues and confident in his delivery. He subsequently auditioned for six theater schools and was admitted to all of them.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to employ a monologue coach, however, anyone can employ the same process as outlined above. The most important thing that we learned from the experience is that the monologue you choose must be suitable to you. This means that a person of your "type" must be believable when you speak and act the words of the character you've chosen to portray. For example, an "all American" type is not always going to be believable playing the role of an "introverted geek", and vice versa. The world takes all kinds and so does the theater. Be honest with yourself. There are suitable roles for everyone. This is why it is so very important to read the entire play from which your monologue is taken. You need to know the character's frame of reference (where he or she is coming from) and where he fits in terms of the plot, and other characters in the play. Besides, especially at college auditions, you may be asked about the plot of the play from which your monologue is taken. Remember, when you audition, the casting director or professor doesn't usually know you personally. You must convince them that you have the ability to play whatever character you've chosen. Choose your monologue carefully, rehearse often and make them believe! You should do well on your auditions.