By Noah B Brown

Most people are hurting financially because the economy is so poor these days. People are cutting back on extras and entertainment, and have even had to cut back on other things. Living on a budget is hard enough, but when you throw children into the mix it can be downright difficult. These parenting tips can help parents and children live harmoniously and healthfully, even on a tight budget.

Cut Out the Fat

Most families spend money on unnecessary items at the grocery store. You can save money on spontaneous buys simply by making a grocery list. Check out the sales circulars and plan your meals in advance. Knowing what you will cook for the week will help you in making your list.

Both parents and children should be involved in the meal planning. This can be made into a game. Let the children look at the sales papers and find an inexpensive meal for the week. The kids will be pleased if they found a great deal, and he or she will be proud when the meal is served in the home. When parents and children work together for a specific goal, it greatly strengthens the child-parent relationship.

Ban the Beggars

It is doubtful that there is a person around who has not been in a supermarket and experienced the shrieks of "But Mommy, PLEASE - I want it". It is not only annoying to the customers, but also embarrassing to the parent. This behavior is never acceptable, and certainly should not be rewarded.

Parents and children should sit down and talk about what the rules are while out shopping. Explain that you expect good behavior. It's alright to tell the kids that if they behave properly while shopping, they can get a treat after the shopping is finished. The kids should also be aware of the consequences for inappropriate behavior. Remember, child discipline is necessary for bad behavior, while offering a reward for good behavior.

Go Easy on the Electric

One of the easiest ways to save money is on electricity. Both parents and children can do this with little effort. There are numerous ways to cut down on electricity that can be fun for both parents and children.

Many budget-conscious families enjoy having an electric free Saturday. This is easy to do and really a lot of fun. The only real rule is that nothing that uses electricity can be used for the whole day. This opens up a world of great activities that parents and children would rarely try.

A lot of Dad's love barbequing, so only cook meals on the grill. It'll be lots of fun for the kids to see Dad getting all three meals cooked on the grill. Snacks such as S'Mores and toasted marshmallows can be made on the grill too. Most parents and children think food on the grill is awesome.

During the day, you can play board games, have races or just talk. These things will all improve the child-parent relationship. You can even go for a walk or plant a garden, as long as nothing the parents and children do requires electricity.

At night, you can play flashlight tag, hide-and-seek or simply tell stories by the glow of candles. This old-fashioned way of having fun will not only save money, but also makes the child-parent relationship stronger.

As with everything, you may want to have a penalty for using electricity. Even though an electricity-free Saturday is fun, you may want to resort to child discipline for violations of electric use. Many parents feel that using child discipline during a fun outing will harm the child-parent relationship. This is not true. It simply shows the child that rules must always be followed, and there will always be consequences for violating the rules.

By Rose John

Parenting is a highly responsible and equally difficult task especially when you have to deal with your full of life, freedom-craving and adamant teenagers. Until then you and your kids might have understood each other very well and had a very loving and strong relationship between you. All of a sudden you, as parents find it hard to comprehend anything they say and may be dumbfounded as to what to say to them and how. Your teenagers, similarly, no more find it easy to discuss things with you and they prefer to bond better with their friends and peers, which again irritates and annoys parents. Teenage is a period when children are faced with a lot of new experiences and some may adjust well to it while some turn rebellious and out-of-control. As parents, it becomes your duty and responsibility to intervene in their lives, whether they like it or not, the moment you sense something is wrong. In fact, here are a few tips which could certainly prove handy in successfully parenting difficult teens.

1. Keep communication channels open between you and your teenager

Even though your teenager might not want to talk to you, make it a point to talk to them in an unassuming and not-so-deliberate manner. Everyone hates advice, especially teenagers. They always feel they know what's right for them. So rather than fixing a time and place before hand and summoning them like their school principal does, try to initiate a friendly chat while driving them to school or over dinner or even while watching a show. Remember that you have passed that particular stage and you know what it is to be there. Just communicate that with your teenager and then they will be more or less comfortable to talk and discuss things with you.

2. Spend time with your teenager

The last thing on a teenager's mind would be to spend time with their parents, have you ever wondered why? It's not because they don't like your company, it's just that they are probably afraid that you might bombard them with questions concerning their lives and they might have to face a difficult situation which they do not know how to handle. So spending a cool and no-question evening at least once in two weeks may be just by going for a stroll in the park or for a movie can do the trick. If you as parents can be like one of their friends, they will acknowledge you and talk and even luckily listen to you.

3. Be able to say a firm "no" when absolutely necessary

Once you realize that your teenager is having trouble, take charge of the situation. You need not worry over more rebellious behavior from their side if you say a firm no for absolutely unacceptable behaviors. As long as you don't keep on saying no for each and everything they do, they will value your decision and judgment even if it isn't in their favor. Drugs, alcohol and too many late nights certainly fall under the category of unacceptable behavior and you as parents must drive home this idea to your teenagers so that they very well know what to expect.

4. Get professional help

Some teenagers will never come around no matter what you try and will continue to become more defiant and more rebellious. In such cases, the sooner you get professional help, the better. Rather than sitting depressed and trying to figure out the reason behind your teen's behavior, seek the help of a licensed therapist or a counselor who will recommend the necessary steps to be taken.

By Rose John

Parenting is a highly responsible and equally difficult task especially when you have to deal with your full of life, freedom-craving and adamant teenagers. Until then you and your kids might have understood each other very well and had a very loving and strong relationship between you. All of a sudden you, as parents find it hard to comprehend anything they say and may be dumbfounded as to what to say to them and how. Your teenagers, similarly, no more find it easy to discuss things with you and they prefer to bond better with their friends and peers, which again irritates and annoys parents. Teenage is a period when children are faced with a lot of new experiences and some may adjust well to it while some turn rebellious and out-of-control. As parents, it becomes your duty and responsibility to intervene in their lives, whether they like it or not, the moment you sense something is wrong. In fact, here are a few tips which could certainly prove handy in successfully parenting difficult teens.

1. Keep communication channels open between you and your teenager

Even though your teenager might not want to talk to you, make it a point to talk to them in an unassuming and not-so-deliberate manner. Everyone hates advice, especially teenagers. They always feel they know what's right for them. So rather than fixing a time and place before hand and summoning them like their school principal does, try to initiate a friendly chat while driving them to school or over dinner or even while watching a show. Remember that you have passed that particular stage and you know what it is to be there. Just communicate that with your teenager and then they will be more or less comfortable to talk and discuss things with you.

2. Spend time with your teenager

The last thing on a teenager's mind would be to spend time with their parents, have you ever wondered why? It's not because they don't like your company, it's just that they are probably afraid that you might bombard them with questions concerning their lives and they might have to face a difficult situation which they do not know how to handle. So spending a cool and no-question evening at least once in two weeks may be just by going for a stroll in the park or for a movie can do the trick. If you as parents can be like one of their friends, they will acknowledge you and talk and even luckily listen to you.

3. Be able to say a firm "no" when absolutely necessary

Once you realize that your teenager is having trouble, take charge of the situation. You need not worry over more rebellious behavior from their side if you say a firm no for absolutely unacceptable behaviors. As long as you don't keep on saying no for each and everything they do, they will value your decision and judgment even if it isn't in their favor. Drugs, alcohol and too many late nights certainly fall under the category of unacceptable behavior and you as parents must drive home this idea to your teenagers so that they very well know what to expect.

4. Get professional help

Some teenagers will never come around no matter what you try and will continue to become more defiant and more rebellious. In such cases, the sooner you get professional help, the better. Rather than sitting depressed and trying to figure out the reason behind your teen's behavior, seek the help of a licensed therapist or a counselor who will recommend the necessary steps to be taken.

By Noah B Brown

Getting the news that you or your child needs surgery can be a scary thing for both parents and children. Although adults understand that the surgery is a necessary procedure, kids seem to think that there is a high risk either for them to die or for the parent to die. Follow these help-for-parents tips and positive parenting techniques to help ease your child's fear about surgery.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Parents and children need to be honest with each other. If the parent needs to have a surgical procedure done, tell the child about it. The child will probably voice his or her fears that you won't be coming home from the hospital. Don't dismiss your child's fears. Help-for-parents advisors suggest that the parents and children discuss their fears. Let the kids know that you're scared too, but that you are confident that the doctor will have you good as new in no time.

If your child is the one needing surgery, you will need to start by discussing the reasons with him. Although the doctor probably discussed it with both of you, you will still need to break it down into reasons that he or she can understand. Again, it is essential that parents and children voice their fears and concerns, but also reassure the child that the doctor will have them healthy very soon.

Take a Tour

When a child needs to have a surgical procedure done, many doctors will arrange a tour of the hospital for both parents and children. In the event your doctor didn't mention this to you, call his office and ask to set up a tour. Most hospitals are happy to accommodate this.

A nurse will probably lead your child on the hospital tour. You will probably be shown the pediatric ward, and the nurse usually explains the process of preparing the child for surgery. Pediatric nurses are really great with kids as they work with and care for them on a daily basis. Once both parents and children take the tour and meet the nurses, some of the fears should be alleviated. If not, ask the nurse if the hospital offers other help for parents with this problem.

Something to Look Forward to

It often helps if the child has something really fun to look forward to after the surgery. This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but it should be something that will excite the child. A special toy, video game or trip that they've been wanting should do the trick. This positive parenting trick should work wonders.

Many parents and children who need to deal with surgery plan to have a party after the child is well again. This can be an inexpensive way to celebrate his good health, and will get the child excited. Be sure to allow him or her to help make the plans for the party. He/she should be allowed to come up with the theme, but both parents and children can invite friends. Your child will be really excited about getting the surgery over with so he/she can have that special party.

Alleviate the Anxiety

There are times when both parents and children still have fears and anxiety about the surgery. There are social workers at the hospital who provide help for parents with these problems. Usually, the social worker will sit down with the parents and children to discuss their fears. Because they are experienced counselors, they will be able to calm your nerves and help you all to feel more comfortable.

To say that a parent's attachment to his or her kids is strong may be a negative statement. Attachment is described as secure and insecure, so it is possible to have a strong attachment that is insecure. Insecure attachment descriptors reflect parental styles associated with the types of attachment: secure attachment with parental flexibility and stability, avoidant attachment with dismissive parenting, ambivalent attachment with preoccupied parents, and disorganized attachment with overwhelmed parents. Parental capacity is important to consider. Children build their nervous system and learn how to balance emotions, thoughts, and behavior through attachment. Parental capacity to attach to children can also change over time.

Avoidant attachment is reinforced from parental messages that emotions are not important in a child's self-identity and in making decisions. Thus, the child (and as an adult) may feel like he or she does not really matter. An avoidant person may even believe that emotions steer one into danger or disaster and are not to be trusted. So emotions are left out of daily interactions. It may be hard to comfort or connect with an avoidant person. A second type of avoidant attachment seeks to please a significant other and downgrade one's own needs because one can only accept emotions if they are not opposed by the significant other. This is a co-dependent relationship.

Ambivalent attachment patterns are derived from close connections that are not stable. The parent could be hot or cold. When cold, the parent may be preoccupied; it does not mean that the parent's love wavers. So fear may develop associated with closeness and connection, because closeness and connection could be lost. The child or adult in this case may crave intimacy but not want to ask for it. If intimacy does happen, this person may eventually find it stifling. The child or adult may then experience anger and would distance from the significant other, but then fear would overtake from being feeling alone. The pattern then becomes hot pursuit, but then cold distancing.

Disorganized or dysregulated attachment patterns stem from parents who are ruled by the "fight or flight" autonomic nervous system. Parents tend to be aggressive or controlling, stemming from fear. On the other hand, parents could be overwhelmed or a victim, again stemming from fear.

Secure attachments are stable patterns but do not have to be perfect. They stem from a parent's capacity at a particular place and time to recognize and value the emotions of a child, or to connect with what the child is doing. When the child comes to the parent, the parent in effect says to the child that the child is okay even when the child or parent is having negative emotions. The child is allowed to be separate from the parent, with the child's own set of valid emotions and self-confidence.

The author Dan Blair, LMFT, LCPC, NCPC is a marriage and family therapist, counselor, and divorce mediator with Blair Counseling and Mediation in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

We offer free articles on peaceful ways to resolve relationship issues to support life-long marriage and mimimize the harm from divorce through divorce mediation. We also address family and personal issues associated with depression, anxiety, anger management, and addiction. Call today to talk with a Christian counselor.

By Dan Blair